[ for some reason dabi still expects keigo to come after him and find him. but no... he doesn't want that. not anymore. there isn't a single damn thing he wants anymore.
dabi still keeps an eye out for him the next night and the night after that. a week later and he still doesn't see keigo... maybe out of the corner of his eye. he gets tired of random blonde's sucking him off in hopes of getting back at that traitorous bird some more. he doesn't feel anything anyway.
there's nothing that can ever make him feel that way again.
eventually he stops going out altogether. he stays inside and wastes away on his bed, only getting up to try and kill himself again. he always wakes up right back in bed, and then he just stays there all over again. he figures maybe eventually they'll notice something like a glitch in the system or however this shit works, and just shut him down.
it doesn't happen.
when he does start going out again, it's back to the quagmire. it's not like he's ever gotten help for anything, least of all his mental state. this is where he feels the most like himself. dirty, wasted, good for nothing. he lets men use him and then he goes back home and cries.
the worst nights are when he misses keigo, though. he wishes he could sneak up to that penthouse apartment and just flop into their bed. keigo's bed. it was never his bed at all. he wishes he could hear that groan and that flutter of wings before a cool body pressed against his far too heated one, wing curling around him as the other man nuzzled and cuddled into him so obnoxiously.
at first his annoyed and frustrated sounds were real, but then they were all just for show while he'd smirk and snake his arms around the other man just as easily, pulling him closer.
he knows he'll never have that again. hell, he didn't even really have it back then, either. it was all a lie.
that, and he told keigo never to come back. he wonders now if he would have said anything differently if he had known how he'd feel now. it's just loneliness he reminds himself, and knowing that he truly is dead. ]
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zvi and
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Date: 2021-03-02 02:41 am (UTC)dabi still keeps an eye out for him the next night and the night after that. a week later and he still doesn't see keigo... maybe out of the corner of his eye. he gets tired of random blonde's sucking him off in hopes of getting back at that traitorous bird some more. he doesn't feel anything anyway.
there's nothing that can ever make him feel that way again.
eventually he stops going out altogether. he stays inside and wastes away on his bed, only getting up to try and kill himself again. he always wakes up right back in bed, and then he just stays there all over again. he figures maybe eventually they'll notice something like a glitch in the system or however this shit works, and just shut him down.
it doesn't happen.
when he does start going out again, it's back to the quagmire. it's not like he's ever gotten help for anything, least of all his mental state. this is where he feels the most like himself. dirty, wasted, good for nothing. he lets men use him and then he goes back home and cries.
the worst nights are when he misses keigo, though. he wishes he could sneak up to that penthouse apartment and just flop into their bed. keigo's bed. it was never his bed at all. he wishes he could hear that groan and that flutter of wings before a cool body pressed against his far too heated one, wing curling around him as the other man nuzzled and cuddled into him so obnoxiously.
at first his annoyed and frustrated sounds were real, but then they were all just for show while he'd smirk and snake his arms around the other man just as easily, pulling him closer.
he knows he'll never have that again. hell, he didn't even really have it back then, either. it was all a lie.
that, and he told keigo never to come back. he wonders now if he would have said anything differently if he had known how he'd feel now. it's just loneliness he reminds himself, and knowing that he truly is dead. ]