[ that night dabi lays down in his bed all alone, in this beautiful beach house that he doesn't give a single shit about. he thinks about all the things that have happened to him, all the things that changed him and ruined him.
he thinks about his mom, and fuyumi and natsuo. maybe it's a good thing he never got to say goodbye to them. maybe they would have decided that he wasn't worth saving after all.
he tries to think about anything good that ever happened to him, but the memories are hazy and too few to really put them all together. he does remember his mother's cooking, natsuo being in awe of his flames, shigaraki dumping ten bags of chips on his bed in exchange for playing video games.
keigo.
it's insanely stupid and sentimental of him, and he knows it's only going to hurt, but if he's going to flash out of existence tonight, then why not just have this one thing? he imagines keigo's hoodie, one of the ones the other man always used to lend him until it just kinda became his, and he curls up into it, willing his scars away so he can feel it on his skin. it's okay, he tells himself, if this is the last thing he ever does. it's okay if he can't close his heart off completely before he dies. he'll be gone soon anyway, and none of this will ever matter again. he waits and waits to blink out of existence.
the next day when he wakes up he's still here, and then again the day after that and the day after that. keigo failed. maybe he died.
dabi doesn't get out of bed for five days after that, and then he just does one day, and goes back to everything he was doing before. he rips himself apart over and over again, but at least he doesn't trash his place again. he starts willing things into existence over time, turning the place into a home. well... not a home. this place could never be a home. but closely resembling one anyway, mostly with things he had at keigo's, but tries not to think too closely about.
that day, one month later, dabi is on the beach. he goes for long walks now, every night when the sun starts setting. he's never gotten to just do that before.
when he comes back to beach house, he's wiping sand off of his pants and kicking off his sandals when he freezes, eyes wide when he sees who's standing in his living room. ]
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zvi and
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Date: 2021-03-04 02:48 am (UTC)he thinks about his mom, and fuyumi and natsuo. maybe it's a good thing he never got to say goodbye to them. maybe they would have decided that he wasn't worth saving after all.
he tries to think about anything good that ever happened to him, but the memories are hazy and too few to really put them all together. he does remember his mother's cooking, natsuo being in awe of his flames, shigaraki dumping ten bags of chips on his bed in exchange for playing video games.
keigo.
it's insanely stupid and sentimental of him, and he knows it's only going to hurt, but if he's going to flash out of existence tonight, then why not just have this one thing? he imagines keigo's hoodie, one of the ones the other man always used to lend him until it just kinda became his, and he curls up into it, willing his scars away so he can feel it on his skin. it's okay, he tells himself, if this is the last thing he ever does. it's okay if he can't close his heart off completely before he dies. he'll be gone soon anyway, and none of this will ever matter again. he waits and waits to blink out of existence.
the next day when he wakes up he's still here, and then again the day after that and the day after that. keigo failed. maybe he died.
dabi doesn't get out of bed for five days after that, and then he just does one day, and goes back to everything he was doing before. he rips himself apart over and over again, but at least he doesn't trash his place again. he starts willing things into existence over time, turning the place into a home. well... not a home. this place could never be a home. but closely resembling one anyway, mostly with things he had at keigo's, but tries not to think too closely about.
that day, one month later, dabi is on the beach. he goes for long walks now, every night when the sun starts setting. he's never gotten to just do that before.
when he comes back to beach house, he's wiping sand off of his pants and kicking off his sandals when he freezes, eyes wide when he sees who's standing in his living room. ]
...Keigo?