[Dabi stays folded in half against his legs for what feels like eternity, trying to steady his breathing. he's relieved that Keigo wasn't taken away, but he also desperately doesn't want him to be here.
it's stupid to not want Keigo to see him like this when he's now seen the worst of it. there's a hollowness in his chest that he's never felt before.
he doesn't know what Keigo is doing, and for a moment he's fearful that the other man is trying to leave. that's the only reason his hands fall from his head so he can look up. but all he sees is Keigo ripping up a shirt, and then he averts his eyes again when he comes over. only then does he look at his wrists and realize how bloody and torn up they are from all the struggling, half his staples ripped out.
he wonders if he just leaves them like this, maybe he'll just bleed out and die. but then... but then what will happen to Keigo?
and still, he feels too dirty and disgusting for any of this. he doesn't deserve a single bit of kindness or help.]
This is how it's supposed to be for me. I broke the rules. This is what's supposed to happen to me.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
zvi and
no subject
Date: 2021-04-01 11:28 am (UTC)it's stupid to not want Keigo to see him like this when he's now seen the worst of it. there's a hollowness in his chest that he's never felt before.
he doesn't know what Keigo is doing, and for a moment he's fearful that the other man is trying to leave. that's the only reason his hands fall from his head so he can look up. but all he sees is Keigo ripping up a shirt, and then he averts his eyes again when he comes over. only then does he look at his wrists and realize how bloody and torn up they are from all the struggling, half his staples ripped out.
he wonders if he just leaves them like this, maybe he'll just bleed out and die. but then... but then what will happen to Keigo?
and still, he feels too dirty and disgusting for any of this. he doesn't deserve a single bit of kindness or help.]
This is how it's supposed to be for me. I broke the rules. This is what's supposed to happen to me.