[Or as Shigaraki calls it; refusing to talk about it. Unlike Dabi who would rather ignore his problems, Shigaraki would rather avoid them and walk in circles around them. Like he acknowledges it's there but he won't touch it with a ten foot pole if he can help it.]
I-I don't pout. [He's pouting now. Even with Dabi kissing him on the lips, his lip (or what's left of a lip?) juts out as he protests.]
[Raw edges. He can still feel them. Even more so because someone actually saw the breakdown he was trying to hard to keep away. If it had been anyone else, he doesn't know what he would have done. As it is, he already ran away for days, not wanting to face Shigaraki with it- wondering if the other man thought less of him now.]
Do you think I'm weak?
[He's been trying not to ask, but it's inevitable, he supposes.
He's definitely kissing that pout, nipping and tugging at it a little in the process.]
No. I don't think you're weak. [It's Shigaraki's turn to reach out. He doesn't have his gloves so his touch is especially gentle. Using only his middle and ring finger, he gently caresses Dabi's face.] Emotions don't make you weak. [And then, a whisper;] If I had thought you were weak, we wouldn't be here.
[He doesn't argue anymore regarding the pout. He'd try to deny it all he wants but if Dabi likes it... then it must be alright. For now.]
That wasn't just emotion. That was a full on... fuck, I don't know what it was. A breakdown.
[But when he looks Shigaraki in the eyes, he can see the truth if there. Nothing has changed since the other day. Shigaraki isn't looking at him with pity or disappointment. It's just hard to shake inside of himself.]
Maybe that's the thing I didn't want to face. Thinking I was weak- seeing it in your eyes. Having you see something no one else has ever seen, and knowing who I am.
You're not weak. [If breakdowns and emotions made people weak then Shigaraki was the weakest of them all. Sure a tantrum didn't necessarily equate to an emotional breakdown but the principal behind them being seen as weak were the same.] Whatever you want to call it? It was spurred on by emotions.
[He kisses the other softly.]
Don't let your past make you think you're weak. Ever.
I felt weak. Out of control. Unable to help myself.
[He wants to believe Shigaraki, though. This is a man he would've done anything to keep his weaknesses from, but it isn't that way anymore and Shigaraki doesn't see him as weak. He won't use this against him. Dabi knows his fears are unfounded.]
Emotions aren't exactly a strong point for us. Either of us.
[he kisses back, letting his lips linger. It's a good distraction.]
I'm not sure I'd be here if I didn't think my past made me weaker.
[He lets Dabi talk to him, kissing the scarred lips, and pulling softly at the skin. He wants to change the topic, it's steering dangerously close into the territory that usually makes him want to skate around the conversation. But he doesn't ignore Dabi or leave him hanging;]
Don't overthink it. [Shigaraki pulls his lips away and scoots a little closer to Dabi.] Kiss me instead.
[ Dabi thinks that's probably why it hits him harder at times and why he's been so adamant about keepng others away- because he doesn't think about it, doesn't talk about it, he just shoves it all away, only to let it burst out and overflow later on.
But it's not like he wants to talk about it either, so he'd rather listen to Shigaraki's advice and go with the more comfortable side of emotions. Although, based on Shigaraki's reaction to those emotions just earlier, they might not be too safe either.
Eventually they'll have to face it all. Eventually, but not now. Dabi turns to him a little more so it'll be easier to move his hand to his face and leans in to kiss him deeply right away. It doesn't take long for him to slide his fingers into light blue hair, wanting to get closer, but not wanting to push just how many times he can do that today. ]
[They're safe. Clearly they both admitted to their feelings of love. They both know how the other felt about it. However the emotions were compromised from years of abandonment, neglect, and finely tuned hatred. With time they'll be able to comfortably say things like love to each other. Neither one want to say it and then have the other stomp on such a fragile emotion. They're guarded and for good reasons. The kiss is one way they can let their guard down without fear.
He doesn't have his gloves on right now so Shigaraki curls his hands into fists and tucks them under his chin, pressing the fists hard against his throat. Shigaraki uses this position to get closer to Dabi. It's not as intimate as they've been in the past with Shigaraki's body basically kept to himself. But it gives Dabi the opportunity to lead, a chance to get comfortable with closeness.
Tired red eyes close as he focuses his energy and thoughts on the kiss.
They've done this enough times that Shigaraki can recall every detail about Dabi's lips. The little dips and the direction of scarred flesh. How far the first staples are from the middle of his lips, and where the staples on his chin bump into his own.
He presses more into the kiss, letting his anxiety melt away with one consuming thought.
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[Or as Shigaraki calls it; refusing to talk about it. Unlike Dabi who would rather ignore his problems, Shigaraki would rather avoid them and walk in circles around them. Like he acknowledges it's there but he won't touch it with a ten foot pole if he can help it.]
I-I don't pout. [He's pouting now. Even with Dabi kissing him on the lips, his lip (or what's left of a lip?) juts out as he protests.]
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[Raw edges. He can still feel them. Even more so because someone actually saw the breakdown he was trying to hard to keep away. If it had been anyone else, he doesn't know what he would have done. As it is, he already ran away for days, not wanting to face Shigaraki with it- wondering if the other man thought less of him now.]
Do you think I'm weak?
[He's been trying not to ask, but it's inevitable, he supposes.
He's definitely kissing that pout, nipping and tugging at it a little in the process.]
I like your pout.
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[He doesn't argue anymore regarding the pout. He'd try to deny it all he wants but if Dabi likes it... then it must be alright. For now.]
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[But when he looks Shigaraki in the eyes, he can see the truth if there. Nothing has changed since the other day. Shigaraki isn't looking at him with pity or disappointment. It's just hard to shake inside of himself.]
Maybe that's the thing I didn't want to face. Thinking I was weak- seeing it in your eyes. Having you see something no one else has ever seen, and knowing who I am.
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[He kisses the other softly.]
Don't let your past make you think you're weak. Ever.
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[He wants to believe Shigaraki, though. This is a man he would've done anything to keep his weaknesses from, but it isn't that way anymore and Shigaraki doesn't see him as weak. He won't use this against him. Dabi knows his fears are unfounded.]
Emotions aren't exactly a strong point for us. Either of us.
[he kisses back, letting his lips linger. It's a good distraction.]
I'm not sure I'd be here if I didn't think my past made me weaker.
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Don't overthink it. [Shigaraki pulls his lips away and scoots a little closer to Dabi.] Kiss me instead.
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But it's not like he wants to talk about it either, so he'd rather listen to Shigaraki's advice and go with the more comfortable side of emotions. Although, based on Shigaraki's reaction to those emotions just earlier, they might not be too safe either.
Eventually they'll have to face it all. Eventually, but not now. Dabi turns to him a little more so it'll be easier to move his hand to his face and leans in to kiss him deeply right away. It doesn't take long for him to slide his fingers into light blue hair, wanting to get closer, but not wanting to push just how many times he can do that today. ]
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He doesn't have his gloves on right now so Shigaraki curls his hands into fists and tucks them under his chin, pressing the fists hard against his throat. Shigaraki uses this position to get closer to Dabi. It's not as intimate as they've been in the past with Shigaraki's body basically kept to himself. But it gives Dabi the opportunity to lead, a chance to get comfortable with closeness.
Tired red eyes close as he focuses his energy and thoughts on the kiss.
They've done this enough times that Shigaraki can recall every detail about Dabi's lips. The little dips and the direction of scarred flesh. How far the first staples are from the middle of his lips, and where the staples on his chin bump into his own.
He presses more into the kiss, letting his anxiety melt away with one consuming thought.
Dabi.]