creamation | (no subject)

[ Nemuri herself was not a vengeful person. If she were, she would've hunted Garvey down and executed him for killing her friend... and then went for Dr. Garaki's head.

Oh, no doubt she was angry after all that information had come to light. But her focus had been elsewhere - in the hope that maybe Shirakumo could come back to them. ]

Isn't that tiring too?

[He kicks his boots off so he can get more comfortable, cause it seems like maybe he can stick around for a bit. Maybe she'll call some pro-heroes to take him away, but despite everything, he can't imagine her doing that.

So he relaxes back against the couch, with Sushi jumping into his lap for more warmth... or maybe he just likes Dabi. He can't tell.

And then, because he really is so damn tired, he decides to be honest for once.]

Yeah. It is.

I wake up and I drug myself every morning just so I can get outta bed most days, and I wonder if it's even worth all this. What's the point, ya know? Sometimes I wake up and just leave, cause I don't wanna do any'a this shit at all.

[ Sushi settled into a catloaf position on Dabi's thighs, getting both of what he wanted simultaneously - Dabi's warmth and the ability to watch Nemuri, opening his yellow-green eyes to peek at her once in a while, as if worried she'd leave again.

She let out a noise of assent as she listened to him talk. ]

I'm sorry.

[ That was an awful way to live. ]

[ he shrugs, reaching out to pet the cat, giving him some good ear scritches. ]

Used to it, I guess.

[ he hesitates, then looks at her again. ]

Guess it's a good thing ya don't want revenge or I'd be out on my ass.

[ Could Pro Heroes even be vengeful and/or resentful? It'd just get in the way of their work. Look at Endeavor, always chasing after All Might's shadow, trying to prove that he was the better hero. It backfired on him. It would've also ruined Shouto-kun, had Class 1-A not intervened. ]

I guess you could say that I don't have space for that.

[Dabi knows what pro-heroes can be, and it isnt some all good, all helping situation like Nemuri thinks it is. Or wants to believe it is. In the end, he knows his own situation won't open any eyes, and that's why he has to go his route and not hers.

Even though it's so tiring.]

We didn't kill anyone. I didn't bother to try.

[ When it came to her, she'd realized that Dabi had only ever injured her when she pushed him too hard. However, when it came to other heroes, he was less merciful - so saying what he did spoke volumes.

She opened her eyes to give him a look of wordless gratitude. As much as she wanted to, Nemuri couldn't ask him to not hurt her colleagues at all - not yet - but maybe someday the fighting would be over and they'd no longer have to hurt each other. ]

[He knows its probably not enough, but he can't give any more than that right now. It's not as if he goes out of his way to kill pro-heroes anyway. He's only really after one.]

There was supposed to be another attack, but we're layin' low for now. So ya don't gotta worry 'bout that.

[ She nodded, relief visible on her expression. ]

Thank you for telling me.

[ Nemuri had already figured out that Dabi was a straightforward person. He wouldn't lie to her about such things, and the fact that he could tell her that much to reassure her meant a lot to her too. ]

How have you been?

[ She was certain he'd been extra vigilant, considering the heightened security after the attack. ]

[He knows it's probably not something he should be telling her, but he feels like he owes her at least that much after everything.

there's definitely heightened security everywhere, but he feels safe here. it's probably the last place anyone would look for him.]

Bored, mostly. I hate layin' low. Frustrated. Same as fuckin' usual.

[ Crazily enough, she felt the exact same way. Principal Nezu had already allowed her to resume her classes, but with Recovery Girl's Quirk needed more urgently elsewhere, Nemuri was running on fumes most of the time. As such, Nezu told her to rest until she was fully recovered. ]

Likewise, honestly.

You back at teaching yet?

[He wants to ask how things have been going aside from that, but he doesn't really want to talk about the fact that he might've permanently fucked things up for her as a pro-hero.

He feels guilty about that, more than he wants to, and he was pretty annoyed by that too. Now he's mostly just ashamed.]

[ She shook her head. ] I don't have the energy for it yet. I miss my students...

[ She sighed, and Sushi looked up from where he was lying on Dabi's lap, looking at her in concern. He then looked at Dabi with round eyes, as if to say, "Well, do something!" ]

Remember how I told you that the doctors thought I might lose my Quirk? [ Nemuri opened her eyes to look at her arms, which bore scars from the grafts taken from her back. ] Well, a lot of it's gone for now, but I was told that skin grafts reconstructed from my own skin samples are possible. The scientists and doctors will just need to take the time to culture the grafts in the hospital lab.

[ She knew that it was on Dabi's mind. Why? He kept referring to it in their last conversation, saying that it was better that she was down and out, and away from the fighting. She wasn't sure how he'd take the news but... she wanted to be honest with him. Honesty for honesty. ]

[Dabi glances down at Sushi when the cat looks at him. He'd do something, but he doesn't know what to do. It's not as if he really can. He's not exactly the healing or caring type.

He doesn't look back up at her when she starts talking about her Quirk. He does glance at her arms, though.]

Bet they'll work fast on that.

[There's so much more he wants to say, but he doesn't know how. He opens his mouth, then closes it again and frowns.]

It's not something that can be worked on fast. For one, I'm still recovering, and it's not a good idea to cut me open again so soon.

[ Her immune system was weak and she could just get an infection from it. ]

Then culturing a graft in the lab will take time too.

[ And if she were honest? Part of her wondered if maybe it was time to retire, because she was getting older, and the younger generation was getting stronger...

But then she looked at supposedly retired heroes like All Might and Gran Torino and realized that she had to keep going until she couldn't anymore. She was compelled to by her conscience and by the knowledge that this was the life she chose.

There was also more she wanted to say to Dabi. She wanted to tell him that he should be getting treatment too. But they'd already discussed that, and that kind of treatment wasn't readily available to him. ]

As if you don't have any registered cell regen Quirk users. I can name a couple of the top'a my head.

[He finally looks up at her with a slight glare, but it isn't her fault. It's his, and he knows that. Still, with the resources the pro-heroes have, he knows that if they're working on it, it won't be long till they figure it out. It's nothing like the creepy, hack doctors the League has to work with.]

Anyways, you'll be fine. It ain't like you're on the front lines anyways.

That's true, but... to be honest, I don't mind waiting. There are other patients who need skin grafts more urgently than me.

[ She realized while in the hospital that burn patients were pretty common. She didn't think she had priority over them just because she was a Pro Hero.

Nemuri usually was part of the first wave of attacks whenever heroes conducted an operation because of the nature of Somnambulist, but Dabi was right in that at the moment, she certainly wasn't anywhere among said lines. ]

Mmm. Yes. I'll be fine.

Sounds like ya kinda just wanna take a break from it all, even if ya got options.

[Head wouldn't blame her at all. Leaving everything behind always sounds tempting, though he knows she never would. Not completely. Therefore a break would probably be the only way.

Or maybe he's just trying to make himself feel better.]

What've ya been doin' in the meantime?

It's true that I don't mind taking a backseat to others who need to recover more quickly. Especially those who have work and families to get back to.

[ She was very lucky in that her job paid well and thus she'd saved a lot over the years. ]

But a break, even if just for a while... yeah. I probably need that too.

Nothing much. Just ordering takeout and spending time with Sushi.

[ Upon hearing his name, the cat's ears swiveled toward her. ]

There's some food in the fridge if you're hungry.

Ya know, ya don't always gotta make it about everyone else. It can just be about you sometimes.

[But he knows it won't ever be. He realizes that she's the kind of hero that Stain always talked about. The kind that really is a hero with nothing else attached. It makes him uncomfortable in a way, because he's never wanted to give anyone that title, not after knowing how pro-heroes really can be, but... she is.]

Sittin' around sucks, huh. Bet Sushi's glad to have ya around, though.

[He pets the cat, but doesn't have the heart to move him just yet.]

I can fix ya up some dinner too if ya want.

[ She gave Dabi a small, if somewhat bittersweet smile. She believed in self-care and viewed it as a necessity in their line of work to avoid burnout... but between caring for herself and others, she'd easily prioritize others.

Besides, it was precisely because of people prioritizing themselves that others like Dabi were hurt and pushed aside. If only Endeavor had put his children first instead of his own ambitions... ]

Thank you. [ She meant it. For Dabi to say those things was poignant.

Sushi let out a "mrrr" when Dabi mentioned his name, and he lifted his head up to enjoy the pets. ]

You don't have to. Let's just both relax today.

[He imagined it would be vastly different if she took some time to care for herself as opposed to what Endeavor always did, and he wouldn't ever even dream of comparing the two.... which says a lot, considering he lumps most pro-heroes together.]

I can make a mean dish with leftovers, ya know.

[He hasn't thought, not in a very long time. But he'd be willing to give it a try.]

Maybe it'll be relaxing for both of us.

[ Another thing she'd learned about Dabi was that he never did anything that he didn't want to. If he was offering again, it meant that he really wanted to make something for her.

He was kinder than he realized.

She gave him another small, grateful smile. ]

Okay. Let's see what we've got in the fridge to work with.

[ She stood up to make her way to the kitchen. She had some leftover rotisserie chicken and her usual stock of vegetables. A lot of milk and eggs. Some old pizza because cooking had not been easy. ]

[ she pays more attention to him than he thinks she does, but maybe over time he'll realize that as well. he's had so many walls up, trying to keep anything that could hurt him anymore far out, but since spending more time with Nemuri, he's starting to realize other things as well.

As for him being kind, he wouldn't agree with that either, especially not after what he did to her.

But for now he can put that aside, along with Sushi, who he finally lifts out of his lap and sets on the floor as he gets up. He has a feeling Sushi will follow anyway, with both of them heading to the kitchen.

He opens the fridge and starts taking a few things out, setting them on the counter. He finds a carton of rice as well, holding it up. ]

This still good?

[ She'd been burned getting to know him (literally and figuratively), but she'd decided after he visited her at the hospital that it was worth it after all. What had happened had been her doing, and she should have known better - and now she did.

Sushi did indeed follow Dabi after he headed to the kitchen, jumping playfully at his heels. ]

Yeah, should still be.

[ Nemuri watched him curiously as she readied the electric kettle. ]

You want coffee or tea?