[ he's trying to stay as detached as possible while he talks about this, but it's never been easy for him to stay detached when it came to anything involving his father. when he was younger he used to disassociate. he'd have to in order to keep from going crazy, but maybe that didn't work out so well for him in the end.
maybe he went crazy anyway.
he can practically feel it when keigo makes those connections. as much as dabi pulls into himself, he can still sense the shift, and as much as he doesn't want to look at keigo right now, he can't help but glance up at him when he says it's not his fault.
his eyes are doubtful and sad, and the crack in keigo's voice tells him he's very much to blame, even if his words say otherwise.]
I...
[he starts, but he can't say the rest of it. he should have known what his father had wanted, and in the end, keigo was hurt because of him. because his father knew somehow that they had been together and took advantage of that as much as he could.
dabi had no idea how much until keigo goes on about the rest of it, and what he hears is devastating. it makes him sick to his core, and the more keigo tells him, the more his head starts spinning. to hear all those things again- the disgusting things his father used to say to him or make dabi call him while he was raped, it makes him want to vomit. it's that last part that breaks him the most though. the way he made keigo scream for him and beg for him to save him, but he was dead. this is everyone's number one hero.
dabi just stares at his knees, tears running down his face. ]
He fuckin' hurt you cause'a me. All'a those things he used to call me. He did to you... because'a me. How'd he find out? How'd he even know we had a...
[he doesn't know what to call it. but that part isn't even important right now. he drops his head into his hands, grabbing a fist full of hair.]
I was gonna kill him. That's all I wanted to fucking do! I was gonna kill him and ya fuckin' told him everything instead! And then you told me it was fuckin' worth it. For what? For this?!
no subject
maybe he went crazy anyway.
he can practically feel it when keigo makes those connections. as much as dabi pulls into himself, he can still sense the shift, and as much as he doesn't want to look at keigo right now, he can't help but glance up at him when he says it's not his fault.
his eyes are doubtful and sad, and the crack in keigo's voice tells him he's very much to blame, even if his words say otherwise.]
I...
[he starts, but he can't say the rest of it. he should have known what his father had wanted, and in the end, keigo was hurt because of him. because his father knew somehow that they had been together and took advantage of that as much as he could.
dabi had no idea how much until keigo goes on about the rest of it, and what he hears is devastating. it makes him sick to his core, and the more keigo tells him, the more his head starts spinning. to hear all those things again- the disgusting things his father used to say to him or make dabi call him while he was raped, it makes him want to vomit. it's that last part that breaks him the most though. the way he made keigo scream for him and beg for him to save him, but he was dead. this is everyone's number one hero.
dabi just stares at his knees, tears running down his face. ]
He fuckin' hurt you cause'a me. All'a those things he used to call me. He did to you... because'a me. How'd he find out? How'd he even know we had a...
[he doesn't know what to call it. but that part isn't even important right now. he drops his head into his hands, grabbing a fist full of hair.]
I was gonna kill him. That's all I wanted to fucking do! I was gonna kill him and ya fuckin' told him everything instead! And then you told me it was fuckin' worth it. For what? For this?!