[ dabi isn't sure where he is when he wakes up. it's unlike any place he's ever been to before and it's certainly not the battlefield he last remembers being on.
it's all a little hazy in his head, but he doesn't feel like he was just fighting a deathly battle. he feels perfectly fine, except for the strange buzzing in his head.
the last thing he remembers is facing Endeavor. everything he had been working towards had all led up to that moment. it was as if his father had frozen in place, and dabi knew it was his one and only time to attack. he had been thinking and planning for this moment for as long as he could remember. flames engulfed him as he descended on his father. everything was bright and hot and he could feel his insides burning up, but the flame was growing too hot, just like when he was younger. back then he had never experienced it before and he was scared. this time, he let it consume him, knowing it would consume his father as well.
finally the old man had showed up.
and then there was nothing.
dabi can't remember much after that. it's blurry and dark and now he's on a beach, squinting out at the ocean while the sun goes down. he's not even sure if this is Japan, but the view is gorgeous. almost heavenly. looking around, there's nothing familiar either. he's all alone it seems and he wonders if he got stuck in some kind of warp gate. maybe those damn pro-heroes yanked kurogiri out of his cell to use him, and now he just has to figure out his way back. that's gotta be what it is.
he pushes himself up, cleaning the sand from his pants, and then he freezes up hard, his eyes going wide. his hands are unscarred.
he pushes his sleeves up and there are no scars running up his arms either. it's all just smooth skin. when his hands fly to his face to feel around for the rest of his scars, all he finds is unmarred skin.
[it feels hot. hot and sweaty. stuffy even. why is it hard to breathe but keigo actually finds himself immersing in such a lifestyle? well. not fully immersed. he's only been at this a handful of times.
it's his first time in this club though. neon lights keeping it bright enough to see what's in front of him. though, a quick glance to the dance floor and he notices how much brighter it is there. same with the bar. it's where he starts to head, between the occasional flirting touch to his waist or teasing hands that try to play with the feathers of his wings. he sends a wink before quickly side-stepping out of the way, to dodge the touching.
he was on a mission here, after all.
a long one at that. how long has he been searching for?
eventually, keigo makes his way to the bar, tight shirt riding up a little as he leans against the counter. to the bartender, he merely mouths the drink order he desires. honestly, it doesn't matter to keigo. he's just hoping to find what he's looking for. once the bartender signals at him, keigo smiles and turns his head, looking among the crowd the best he can. his eyes are sharp, even in this dark room. he would still need to mingle and mix though, to thoroughly look around.
earlier in the evening, he received a tip that the man who he can't get his mind off of might visit this club first. keigo certainly hoped so. it feels like a lifetime. not to mention, he's quite anxious about it. their parting wasn't on equal terms.
but...
keigo needed to see him. he can't let it go like this.
so, as soon as the drink he ordered is placed in front of him, he pulls away, sipping over the rim as he starts to head further into the club.]
[ for a while, dabi figured he was just dead. this was some elaborate heaven or hell or something like that- or maybe something in between like purgatory. that had to be it, because he knows for certain he wouldn't just end up somewhere good like this.
but it all feels so real and so tangible. maybe he's stuck in someone's Quirk. in the end he decides that's what it has to be, because he goes to sleep and wakes up and he's still here, time just passing, day by day. no one comes looking for him, no one comes after him. he doesn't want to accept it at first, but as time goes by and he can't seem to leave, he accepts that he's stuck- at least for now.
it drives him a little crazy at first. he feels useless and empty. this is so far from his goal and he wonders what ever happened to endeavor. he can't find any real news of him here. sure there are names dropped here and there, but there aren't any quirks here either. he realized that quickly when he tried to produce his flames and nothing happened. no one ever really talks about them here either. it's almost as if everything with quirks was a dream instead of whatever this is.
and his scars. they're all gone. he's been staying at some random beach house that he found keys in his pocket for, and every day he looks at himself in the mirror, but there are no scars there. just smooth skin and white hair. it's a person he's never seen before- not all grown up like this anyway.
eventually staying cooped up and trying to figure this out takes a toll on him, and he ventures out. there are places to go- parties and nightclubs filled with people who have no idea who he is or what he's done. he figures maybe they don't recognize him, but after a while he realizes no one cares. when he gives them his name, they don't bat an eye- well, except for the looks they give him when they want to get with him. apparently he's more good looking than he thought he would be without all his scars.
he turns them all down though. there was only one he ever really wanted to be with, and in the end dabi had tried to kill him. he knew the betrayal was coming, but he didn't know it would cut that deep. it was his own damn fault for letting his guard down, but he thought...
well, it doesn't matter what he thought, and he's starting to get sick of being completely alone in a place like this. he never thought he'd get tired of the solitude he had longed for when he was with the League- but he's in this whole different world now. eventually he goes to the parties and the clubs, at least to have a drink and get out of his mind. he doesn't have to live in run down buildings anymore, and he doesn't have to pay for his liquor. maybe he's just here to have fun.
so that's what he decides to do tonight, drink in hand, laying low in the darker parts of the bright club, where some pretty blonde is trying to press up against him and run his fingers through his hair. dabi leans out of his touch, but the blonde latches onto his neck anyways, and for a moment dabi can just imagine that he might be someone else. ]
[continuing to sip his drink, keigo steps between grinding, dancing bodies. it's very lively. he almost feels two years younger. not that keigo attended many clubs and parties even when younger. it was here or there, but the hero commission barely allowed him to leave the cage.
if keigo had the actual use to his abilities with his wings, he maybe could have found that person in his mind. yet, these were just for show. they moved along with him though. it was...better than nothing. and already, he's had a few people who thanked him for his work in life during the previous search. mostly, his wings seemed to attract grabby hands and intimate promises, all of which keigo waves off.
they're not who he's looking for. there was only one who could fulfill that role for the hero.
searching the club is becoming almost hopeless. he tries asking, sparing a name, two actually, but he's given shrugs or told to stop his search and dance with whoever he's asking. he always declines. he doesn't want to dance. he doesn't want to do anything but find this stupid idiot. keigo was going to go crazy if he can't.
it's while rounding a corner, waving off another offer to the dance floor and holding back a sour expression, that keigo almost stumbles into an affectionate couple hiding in the dark. he's about to apologize, to leave and try to scan the club one more time, but keigo can't help but...stare. not at the blond who appears to be trying way too hard, but at the white haired, pretty blue eyed man.
yes. that has to be him! keigo knows that hair, those eyes, he knows them from anywhere-!
the scars aren't there. but in a place like this, it's to be expected. how could keigo have forgotten? his own scars were well hidden away too. he's positive he's not breathing any longer. his chest was pounding. not even the base of the music could keep him from hearing his own heartbeats.
the blond shoots him a glare and it's enough to get him to snap from his thoughts. jealousy immediately hits him, goads keigo to move without thinking. next thing he realizes, he's pressing up to something that's familiar, hands gripping a shirt while golden eyes narrow. at least keigo gives a smile, even if empty of kindness.]
Get lost. He's taken.
[words he has no right to say any longer, but feels deeply for. after all, he once belonged to this man, and claimed the right to call him his own. keigo needed to see him though. he had to talk to him. and he couldn't do it with this pretty floozy between them.]
[ dabi probably could have been more forceful with everything here in San Junipero. he knows how to get what he wants now. he knows how to be the villain. but without his quirk he's never felt like much of anything before, and even with all he could possibly command here, he hasn't wanted to.
he only had one goal. one reason to stay alive. that entire reason was snatched away from him here.
he had thought about ending his life as well, just like he just about did when he was a kid. but he doesn't. for some reason, he doesn't. maybe he's just trying to pass the time until he figures out just what the hell is going on with him. maybe in the end he's too much of a coward to die.
the blonde that has him pressed up against the wall isn't exactly what he wants, but he's close enough for now. at least it's something in this vast world of nothingness. dabi still isn't used to people looking at him like he's just another person, and so maybe he lets himself indulge in that too. maybe that's why he's letting this guy get all up on him. he's pretty enough, even though he doesn't have those sharp golden eyes and those pretty red wings.
not like this guy who's suddenly in front of him, yanking the pretty blonde away from his chest and sending him away.
dabi's eyes go wide as he sees who it is and he thinks he might really be losing his mind now. first this place, then hawks of all people. dabi just blinks at him while he sends the other man away. maybe this is another figment of his imagination. maybe this is when the torture really starts. ]
[just hearing that voice does something to keigo’s chest. it’s like nothing else matters now. just the two of them. like it should have been from the beginning and ending.]
Dabi...
[the name is practically a memory for him now. he used to say it multiple times a day.
pulling back, just a bit, keigo looks up, to get a better view of dabi’s features. the villain was attractive. he’s always been handsome and devilish. but it’s a different form of attractiveness here. knowing who it is, of their previous intimacy, it only makes dabi more breathtaking in keigo’s eyes.
he doesn’t know what to say now. the last time they met, they had tried to kill each other. before keigo could even process it all, he had been given dabi’s status. it broke his heart. worst than discovering his own personal loss.
what had he done all of that for? what was the point? the lives he saved, of course. but his losses had broken him. this is his last chance.
so he can’t help but look at those blue eyes, hurt and pain that he feels filling his golden irises.]
[ the poor idiot blonde that has been trying to get dabi's attention all this time gives one final attempt, but dabi's eyes are on hawks now. not hawks, though, even with those bright red wings behind him that he's sure he had burned away. no, he's keigo now, and dabi wonders if this is it for him, because this can't really be happening.
whatever it is though, this other replacement blonde doesn't matter anymore. dabi shoots him a look, blue eyes just as fiery and deadly as before, even without his flames. ]
You heard him, get the fuck outta here.
[dabi's attention is only on him for a moment longer before it's back on keigo again, trying to figure out just what in the fuck is happening here. he hasn't seen a single soul here that he's recognized. keigo is the first of them and the last dabi would have wanted to see, even if he knows he's lying about that one. it's not a coincidence that the only one hanging on him was some pretty blonde who probably could have passed for keigo from behind.]
I don't fuckin' understand. What are you... how are you here? How'd you find me?
[he asks as if he knows what's been going on with him this past month or two, even though he doesn't have any fucking idea.]
[to have those eyes back on him leaves keigo warm. the kind of warmth only dabi provided to him. no one else could provide it.
his jealousy is stroked into pride when he watches dabi snap to the pretty blond. he would feel bad if he wasn’t so jealous of the fact that someone had touched what keigo claimed at his own. had claimed. before he ruined it and lost everything.
nonetheless, he didn’t want some other person, especially a pretty blond like that, touching dabi.
the attention is back on him again. keigo practically feels weak at his knees under those beautiful eyes. while the face was different now, without the scars, dabi was still the devious and attractive man he knows the prior villain to be.
keigo bravely stands though, and he can’t resist reaching over and gathering dabi’s shirt into his grasp. real. this was real now.]
I’ve been looking everywhere for you. I had to see you-I...I want to talk with you. Can we go somewhere?
[The thing is, all this time Dabi has been trying to figure out what this is, how is it real, is it even real? There are times when he wrecks the place apart in anger and then everything is back the way it was before.
Those are the times he feels trapped, like this is some kind of hell. he wonders if he's really locked away in some prison cell, his body wasting away while he's trapped inside some kind of other universe, or hell. it doesn't feel like hell though, but it doesn't feel like heaven either. if it was, he wouldn't have this heavy ache and dread inside of him. he wouldn't feel like crawling out of his unscarred skin. in the end, Dabi really doesnt know what this is.
and now he has Keigo standing in front of him and his mind is swirling around with so many emotions. the other man looks... he looks perfect with his bright, big wings and not a scar on him. Dabi knows for a fact he didn't leave him that way. not after he found out just how incredibly Keigo had betrayed him.
and for a moment he's just so relieved to see this person who was starting to mean everything to him, that he forgets that pain and anger until Keigo grabs his shirt again and says he wants to talk, looking at him so desperately. ]
No. No fuckin' way.
[he shoves Keigo's hands off of his shirt and takes a step back, and another, until he's moving back into the crowd. he turns and pushes through them, trying to get away from the traitor who still makes his insides clench in such an intense kind of way.]
[it’s almost like everything is perfect again. keigo is back before dabi. the nightmares could stop. the trauma doesn’t exist in this place. he could finally be with dabi. nothing else mattered.
but perfection doesn’t last. it never does, if keigo thought about it.
because quickly, dabi pulls away, and the hero knows he should have expected it. he knows. he knows what he did. and keigo spends every day regretting it. there’s a permanent reminder with his body of it, the absence of this man in front of him.
despite knowing and expecting this reaction, it hurts more than anything he’s experienced.]
Dabi, wait-
[quickly, he hurries after the once villain, pushing into the crowd. he shoves people away, so desperate to not lose the most important thing to him.]
Dabi-please wait!
[with a quick lurch forward, he’s able to grab dabi's wrist tightly. there’s fear there, expecting fire. he knows no quirk exist in this place. but still, he holds that fear deep within him. he ignores it though, pushes through his trauma to not let dabi go.]
I won’t ever bother you again, just please listen. Please. I can tell you what’s going on.
[ it almost feels like the buzzing in his head is getting louder. it's been there in the back of his head since he got here and he could never figure it out, but now it's suddenly so loud, and he's pretty sure it's coming from the people all around him too.
they don't even look at him as he pushes through the crowd, trying to put as much distance between himself and keigo as possible. keigo can't possibly be here, can he? dabi doesn't even know if this place is real.
despite all the noise he can still hear keigo calling out to him, but he's determined to get out of here and get lost. how long has he been here now? weeks? months? he's lost track of time, but he knows his way around here by now.
he's almost at the exit when the hand clamps around his wrist, holding on to him tightly. he stops and turns abruptly, raising his arm as if he's going to produce flames and attack. nothing happens of course, but he hasn't gotten used to being quirkless yet. he feels very much like a cornered animal.
still, he's ready to fight with all he's got, but then keigo says he can tell him what's going on, and dabi is so desperate to know, that his whole expression changes. he lowers his arm and he stops trying to yank himself away. he probably shouldn't trust a single damn thing keigo says- the fucking traitorous bastard that he is, but if knows even a little bit of what's going on, dabi needs to hear it. ]
You expect me to fuckin' believe you, traitor?
[he can't help but say, even if he knows he's going to give into it. looking at keigo makes his stomach lurch. he remembers when looking at hawks used to make him feel a different kind of way.]
[keigo is desperate. he can’t lose dabi again. but he also can’t force the other to stay with him. it’s unforgivable, what he’s done. and maybe a part of him knows he still holds resentment himself. after all, keigo had lost more than dabi on that fateful day.
he tries not to think of it though. he needed to talk, to say what was on his mind, less he regret it. it’s his last shot. his last opportunity.
fear immediately comes to golden eyes when dabi stops and turns around. it’s the way the once villain presents himself, as if he could burn keigo right then and there. his blood runs cold, breath hitches as panic almost forms.
but with no heat, heat he remembers craving to feel before fearing it, keigo is able to calm his growing anxiety. dabi’s expression changes too, and keigo finds it relieving. he doesn’t let go of dabi. a part of him was afraid that the white haired man would try to leave again.
oh, it’s hard to not wince to the accusation though. it’s true. he was a traitor. he didn’t want to betray dabi. but he...he had to.]
San Junipero. It’s..a simulated reality.
[worriedly almost, he looks around. no one has really paid them much attention. but still...keigo didn’t want to speak so freely in the public.]
I know you don’t want to believe anything I say, that I’m a traitor, but I can tell you everything. Can we...in private?
[ he sees the fear in keigo's eyes and he's happy for it. keigo lulled him into a false sense of security, comfort, even peace, during those times they were together. he held on to his distrust for so long, but keigo unraveled it bit by bit, with every last kiss and whispered word reassuring dabi that they wanted the same thing. that he would stick around when it was all over.
the betrayal he felt when he knew keigo had ratted them out- him out, without warning- it made him hate the other man almost as much as he hated his father.
but he's here now and he's been here now for so long, knowing he can't get out... all of that has fallen to the wayside for a bit. what choice did he have but to try and get by here?
now that hawks is in front of him though, all of those deep seated emotions come rushing back and they hurt. he hasn't felt anything like this in a long time.
keigo's words hit him like a ton of bricks, though, whether they're the truth or not... he doesn't have much else to go by. and when he says it, it's as if that buzzing in his head stops, and everything becomes a little less muted. it's almost as if the place needed his awareness in order to fully set in.
he tries to keep his shock at bay, swallowing it down at forcing a blank look on his face, but his heart is racing. his gaze darts around for a moment, wondering if all these people are simulated too... but he doesn't want to believe this. ]
Let's go.
[dabi grinds out, then turns on his heels again and goes for the exit at a normal speed, shoving the door open on his way out, hoping it swings right back into keigo's face.]
[keigo isn’t sure he’ll ever be able to explain to dabi what happened or what was going through his head that day. he does take full responsibility over the betrayal though. there’s so much more to it though. more that dabi deserved to know.
he wants to tell the other man that despite the betrayal, he never lied about his feelings. their intimacy was the most important thing to him. and he had to give it all up.
but would dabi even listen? he doubts it. dabi doesn’t owe him anything. even still, he had to try. he had to know he did that much.
keigo worriedly waits to see if dabi would listen to him about this new reality. he deserved to know that much.
thankfully, the once villain seemingly agrees. it’s relieving. keigo nods his head, glad he can do this much. quickly, almost so needy, he follows after dabi, looking over his shoulder to be sure no one was going to follow them. it causes him to almost run into the door. although a part of him is sure it’s done purposely. he catches it though and slips on through, keeping a step behind dabi.]
[ as far as dabi is concerned, he doesn't want to hear what was going through keigo's head. all he needs to know is that even after everything, even after what they had, keigo betrayed him. he didn't have to give it up, but he did, and there really is nothing more to say to it than that.
all this time he's been trying not to think about keigo and everything that he left behind. knowing he's stuck here has been wearing him down bit by bit. what else did he have to live for but that goal? and then maybe something with keigo, but all of that was ripped away, even before he got stuck in this place.
and now that it's all here in front of him again, he's furious. he wants to finish the job and burn the bird to ash, but he needs answers first.
once they're outside, he walks until they reach the far side of the club near the dumpsters. a few cars are parked here and there but it's still early. no one ever wants to leave before midnight. they want to make the most of every last second. he stops when they're far enough, and whirls back around to face keigo.]
Just tell me what the fuck is goin' on here. The hell do ya mean this place is a simulation? Where the fuck am I?
[as they leave further from the club, keigo finds himself wishing he had his hero jacket. it brought a sense of comfort to the hero. technically, he could easily manipulate it into existence. yet, he resists the desire to do so. he fondly recalls dabi's dislike for it, and maybe that's why he keeps it off his body.
not that it should matter. it's very clear of the prior villain's stance on their fallen relationship.
no. he should stop thinking about it. it hurts. he feels broken beyond repair. dejected. useless.
the walk is relatively quiet. only noises are from the city. really, keigo would be surprised by it further if he focused on the life within these walls. however, he's too far within his own thoughts, so much that he takes a step back when dabi suddenly turns to him with his demands. a quick look around and they are alone. keigo isn't sure why he expected somewhere better. honestly, it was like the first few passes of intel when he had gone about his deception.]
It's fairly new. The public isn't aware of the San Junipero Project. It's a simulation reality designed for a select group of people to remain and live their lives in immortality. Just by willing it, you can change your appearance, pain levels. Things like that.
[keigo isn't exactly sure the due date for it to go completely live. some secrets he couldn't find out all on his own. and of course, there are secrets regarding this reality that he feels are better left unsaid.]
There's only a few hundred people here. The rest are fake, for now. Until San Junipero grows. You were put here because...
[he trails off, finding his throat drying. he doesn't want to admit it. he doesn't want to believe it. not when dabi is standing right in front of him.]
[ being out here like this, nothing but the distant noises of the club and the city, neon lights illuminating the streets- it really is like their first few meetings. maybe brighter and a little less run down. there's nothing run down about san junipero. not in this part of town, anyway.
dabi listens intently, gaze boring into keigo as he speaks. it all sounds pretty unbelievable, even with the knowledge of quirks. or maybe that's why it seems so unbelievable- because it's not a quirk at all, but some kind of technology that dabi has never heard of before. he doesn't know why the fuck he should believe keigo, especially after all that had happened, but somehow... it seems to make sense. little things here and there.
he looks down at his hands, how clear they are from all the scars and how surprised he was that he was like this now. if this place could change appearance and pain levels... maybe that's why he hasn't been feeling shit lately. ]
Just by willing it? Bullshit. I didn't fuckin' pick to look like this. Who the fuck gets to decide?
[he doesn't realize that it's his family who decided this for him, without his knowledge or consent. ]
You expect me to believe that this is some tech bullshit? Not some Quirk I probably got blasted in during that war? Fuckin' pro-heroes, ya probably stuck me in here yourselves, huh.
[he says as keigo trails off. but then keigo comes out with the real truth of it, and dabi's blood runs cold and his throat goes dry as well. there's no way in hell. there's no fucking way]
You're full'a shit, you lying bastard!
[he grabs at keigo's shirt and slams him against the wall, fists curling into the fabric hard as his eyes blaze bright.]
I'm in Tartarus, right?! You assholes fuckin' got me! Fuckin' Endeavor, that no good piece a shit father'a mine. Right?! You're in my head, forcin' me to stay here! Wake me the fuck up you traitorous piece'a shit!
[there really is no easy way of saying it. even the bare minimum. he could give little, but dabi would eventually discover more. this place was to go live, after all. keigo wanted to be the one to tell the other man. dabi deserved to know instead of walking around and living aimlessly.]
Your family chose your appearance.
[keigo admits easily enough. he recalls hearing one of the brothers, natsuo, stating to give dabi his old body back.
the denial starts to come in, and keigo expects it. it was lunacy when the hero first heard of it. endeavor, with his power and money, was already much involved with the project. keigo wasn't surprised though. even if endeavor had tried to hide it.
ferocious as ever, dabi comes to shove him to the wall, forcing a surprised noise to escape keigo's mouth. in response, he braces his hands over dabi's wrist, lips turned into a frown as he looks up into bright blue eyes. they're a clear reminder of his quirk. a quirk he no longer had access to.]
Do you really think there's a quirk this powerful? Have you tried to destroy anything here? It immediately fixes itself. Just-
[he cuts himself off for a brief second, looking down at dabi's arm.]
[ the more he hears the worse it gets. but it's like all the fake walls come crumbling down. before this he was aimless but he had hope. hope that he'd wake up or get out of here or somehow escape.
what could he possibly escape to now if he really is dead? nothing.
nothing.
hearing that his family chose his appearance only angers him more, and he growls, pulling his hand back to let out a burst of flames that are no longer there. he punches the wall instead, so hard that he should bleed, but of course he doesn't bleed. it barely even hurts at all. ]
The fuck do I know what kinda Quirks you assholes have got?!
[he growls, then pulls back, letting go of keigo completely. he takes a few steps back, looking down at his arms, his hands. he realizes he's shaking a bit, because of course he is. it's not every day you hear you're dead, especially from someone you started to care about, who ended up betraying you so completely.
but then he shakes his head. he doesn't want to do it. not here, not now, not in front of him. his hands clench into fists and he looks at keigo darkly again.]
I don't fuckin' believe you. I ain't dead. You're just fucking with me all over again. Get the fuck away from me before I find a way to kill you.
[did keigo expect this to be an easy discussion? no. definitely not. it's why he doesn't flinch when dabi growls before punching the wall. there's no flames. he's coming to realize that. and, even if quirks had been within this simulated reality, it wasn't like it would hurt. keigo had his pain set to zero.
now, whether or not the fire would set off his anxiety was another story. he was still weary of heat and fire all together.
he hates how dabi pulls away, but this time, keigo doesn't follow. dabi is only a few feet away though.
it does hurt to see the pain there. it's not every day you're told you had died. keigo was still coming to terms with it. dabi was alive there, in front of him. it was all thanks to technology. but, in the real world, where everything was real, there's only ash left in dabi's presence, and a broken hero regretting his decisions.
keigo finds himself sighing and running a hand through his hair. he knows what time it is. he...wish he had more of it. but getting just this much was a blessing. he shouldn't even be here. he wasn't dying or elderly...]
Dabi, I'm sorry.
[for what, he doesn't elaborate.]
I-
[he can't finish because it's suddenly black in front of him, and keigo knows immediately that midnight had struck. reality. he was to go back to reality.
it leaves him feeling sour and miserable. he wanted to tell dabi so much more. time really had flown quicker than he expected.]
[ if dabi had ever gotten the choice, maybe he would have set his pain to zero. or maybe it isn't a mental zero because he's definitely feeling this, even if the pain in his hand is completely tolerable. why wouldn't anyone realize that the emotional pain is even worse?
he doesn't get much after that though, and part of him wishes he would. he wants keigo gone, but he also wants to understand. he doesn't know what midnight means though, because he's never left this place before.
he's left standing in that alleyway all alone with this shitty explanation and a sorry that he isn't anywhere close to wanting to hear. there's a space where keigo used to be, and now he's wondering if maybe everything the other man was saying was true or not.
he can't be dead. how can he be dead?
he's so confused and angry right now, though. he doesn't want to think about it anymore. it's too much, too painful. it would explain so much, but he doesn't want to believe it. he can't. at least midnight doesn't mean shit to him, though, so he goes back inside and gets drunk off his ass so he doesn't have to think about keigo, or any of this anymore.
or at least until things reset to the next morning. ]
[it’s a painful week of waiting. keigo doesn’t even feel alive. he merely continues to exist. just until saturday he tells himself.
the week comes and goes, feeling like an eternity. then, the second he’s given that freedom, keigo leaps into the simulation.
he’s not sure why. no. that’s wrong. he knows exactly why.
keigo had an addiction.
and even if dabi hated him, despised his existence, keigo can’t just give up.
he returns to that same bar, dressed more provocatively. low-ride jeans, the tight black slinky shirt that dabi seemed to enjoy before. all in all, he replicated that night’s outfit. it’s not to purposely tease or taunt his former lover with, but keigo wants to test if there’s still any desire for him left. he thought he had seen it when dabi told that nameless pretty blond to back off. but he’s not so sure anymore.
could he even get dabi back to him? keigo wanted to prove he wasn’t doing this for anyone but himself. dabi is the only thing that mattered to him now.
it’s loud in the club again. dark. hot. keigo quickly walks through, starting first where he found dabi before.]
[ dabi isn't hungover the next day, though he wishes he were. he lays in bed all day anyway, face in his pillow just willing death upon himself. if this really is a simulation, could he even die here? would he just disappear completely and stay dead in the real world?
what even is the real world? even if keigo is lying, how can he possibly get out of this?
why would keigo even come to see him to tell him that?
when he does get up, dabi trashes his place. he upends everything in anger and smashes bottles. he breaks every last mirror and tears his place apart. he falls onto his knees and he cries real tears that aren't blood. he hasn't cried in so long, he almost forgot what it felt like.
he expects keigo to come back the next night, so he stays away from the clubs. he stays away the night after that as well, wallowing in pity and sadness, tearing his place apart over and over again, but it just keeps going back to the way it was. the third night he goes to the clubs but keigo isn't there either, and he's angry at himself for even bothering to look. he doesn't want to see that traitor. that piece of shit.
he decides to drown himself in the ocean that night, and he wakes up in his bed. he stares at the ceiling for hours before he lifts his arms up to block his view and wills his scars back on his arms. they're there in an instant, just like keigo said they would be, down to the last detail. he wills them away again and they're gone.
he wonders if keigo really was telling him the truth.
that night when he goes out again, he looks like his old self. scars and black hair, with all the pain and piercings he had before. he does the same the night after that, and after that, only he doesn't go Tucker's. he goes to the trashier part of town and hits up the Quagmire, because that's really where he belongs, isn't it?
if keigo ventures to ask someone where dabi might be, they might direct him there instead. ]
[the club is so loud and filled with happy voices, but all keigo hears in his head is silence. he can’t find dabi anywhere within tuckers. asking doesn’t seem to help. they only shrug, stating they haven’t seen a white haired man named dabi.
keigo is feeling dejected at the bar, thanking the last person he’s asked about dabi, when the bartender looks at him curiously. the man leans over then, motioning keigo to do the same.
”listen kid, haven’t seen the white dabi. but there’s a scarred fellow also going by dabi. sticks to the quagmire. club is outside of town. good luck.”
keigo’s eyes widen at the intel before he nods his head and thanked the bartender. immediately, he rushes out, to hunt down dabi all over again.
the quagmire has not been a club he’s been to yet. he knew of the location, and that was about it. keigo loses track of time, but gets there with enough to spare. before he even gets inside, keigo can already see the trouble this place would cause. why isn’t he surprised to find the villain in such a place?
if keigo thought tuckers had too many hands touching him, the quagmire proved that wrong. it’s filthy, smells worst. far more stuffy too. he ignores cigarette smoke blown info his face and purred words to his ear. hell, he sees a woman with a snake on her shoulders. he has to wonder if this was dabi’s ideal club scene.
smoking, fighting, and sex were all over the place. the further he goes into the club, the more he feels out of his realm. it might have been fun to come here with someone, especially with dabi once upon a time, but right then, keigo is uncomfortable. he just wanted to see dabi.
even if it gets him more hands caressing his exposed waistline.]
[dabi never really had the full opportunity to go to clubs and bars the normal way when he was living. he was too young when he ended up on the streets, and after that it was just back rooms and drug dens and back alleyways.
when he teamed up with the league he had gone to a bar or two here and there, ones where they didn't care that he was a villain. but it was never like this. it's loud and dirty and far too handsy at the quagmire, but it also helps Dabi disappear. he can lose his mind here and pretend none of it exists.
no endeavor, no league, no pro-heroes, no Keigo.
and yet again it's a pretty blonde he finds, one who finds his scars alluring. the eyeliner on the guy even looks similar, all that's missing are the wings. dabi even imagines a new set of piercings on himself, all in a pretty little row going down his shaft.
it makes the pretty blonde's eyes water as he shoves his cock hard down his throat, hand fisted in his hair hard enough that the guy is whining. Dabi only grabs harder and fucks into his mouth even more relentlessly, relishing those tears streaming down the blonde's face.
but it isn't the same. it's never the same and Dabi is so sick of it. that's when he spots Keigo out of the corner of his eye, moving through the crowd. he smirks, then drops his head back against the wall and and fucks the guy's mouth more relentlessly, hoping to catch Keigo's eye.]
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it's all a little hazy in his head, but he doesn't feel like he was just fighting a deathly battle. he feels perfectly fine, except for the strange buzzing in his head.
the last thing he remembers is facing Endeavor. everything he had been working towards had all led up to that moment. it was as if his father had frozen in place, and dabi knew it was his one and only time to attack. he had been thinking and planning for this moment for as long as he could remember. flames engulfed him as he descended on his father. everything was bright and hot and he could feel his insides burning up, but the flame was growing too hot, just like when he was younger. back then he had never experienced it before and he was scared. this time, he let it consume him, knowing it would consume his father as well.
finally the old man had showed up.
and then there was nothing.
dabi can't remember much after that. it's blurry and dark and now he's on a beach, squinting out at the ocean while the sun goes down. he's not even sure if this is Japan, but the view is gorgeous. almost heavenly. looking around, there's nothing familiar either. he's all alone it seems and he wonders if he got stuck in some kind of warp gate. maybe those damn pro-heroes yanked kurogiri out of his cell to use him, and now he just has to figure out his way back. that's gotta be what it is.
he pushes himself up, cleaning the sand from his pants, and then he freezes up hard, his eyes going wide. his hands are unscarred.
he pushes his sleeves up and there are no scars running up his arms either. it's all just smooth skin. when his hands fly to his face to feel around for the rest of his scars, all he finds is unmarred skin.
he's dead, he realizes. he must be dead. ]
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it's his first time in this club though. neon lights keeping it bright enough to see what's in front of him. though, a quick glance to the dance floor and he notices how much brighter it is there. same with the bar. it's where he starts to head, between the occasional flirting touch to his waist or teasing hands that try to play with the feathers of his wings. he sends a wink before quickly side-stepping out of the way, to dodge the touching.
he was on a mission here, after all.
a long one at that. how long has he been searching for?
eventually, keigo makes his way to the bar, tight shirt riding up a little as he leans against the counter. to the bartender, he merely mouths the drink order he desires. honestly, it doesn't matter to keigo. he's just hoping to find what he's looking for. once the bartender signals at him, keigo smiles and turns his head, looking among the crowd the best he can. his eyes are sharp, even in this dark room. he would still need to mingle and mix though, to thoroughly look around.
earlier in the evening, he received a tip that the man who he can't get his mind off of might visit this club first. keigo certainly hoped so. it feels like a lifetime. not to mention, he's quite anxious about it. their parting wasn't on equal terms.
but...
keigo needed to see him. he can't let it go like this.
so, as soon as the drink he ordered is placed in front of him, he pulls away, sipping over the rim as he starts to head further into the club.]
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but it all feels so real and so tangible. maybe he's stuck in someone's Quirk. in the end he decides that's what it has to be, because he goes to sleep and wakes up and he's still here, time just passing, day by day. no one comes looking for him, no one comes after him. he doesn't want to accept it at first, but as time goes by and he can't seem to leave, he accepts that he's stuck- at least for now.
it drives him a little crazy at first. he feels useless and empty. this is so far from his goal and he wonders what ever happened to endeavor. he can't find any real news of him here. sure there are names dropped here and there, but there aren't any quirks here either. he realized that quickly when he tried to produce his flames and nothing happened. no one ever really talks about them here either. it's almost as if everything with quirks was a dream instead of whatever this is.
and his scars. they're all gone. he's been staying at some random beach house that he found keys in his pocket for, and every day he looks at himself in the mirror, but there are no scars there. just smooth skin and white hair. it's a person he's never seen before- not all grown up like this anyway.
eventually staying cooped up and trying to figure this out takes a toll on him, and he ventures out. there are places to go- parties and nightclubs filled with people who have no idea who he is or what he's done. he figures maybe they don't recognize him, but after a while he realizes no one cares. when he gives them his name, they don't bat an eye- well, except for the looks they give him when they want to get with him. apparently he's more good looking than he thought he would be without all his scars.
he turns them all down though. there was only one he ever really wanted to be with, and in the end dabi had tried to kill him. he knew the betrayal was coming, but he didn't know it would cut that deep. it was his own damn fault for letting his guard down, but he thought...
well, it doesn't matter what he thought, and he's starting to get sick of being completely alone in a place like this. he never thought he'd get tired of the solitude he had longed for when he was with the League- but he's in this whole different world now. eventually he goes to the parties and the clubs, at least to have a drink and get out of his mind. he doesn't have to live in run down buildings anymore, and he doesn't have to pay for his liquor. maybe he's just here to have fun.
so that's what he decides to do tonight, drink in hand, laying low in the darker parts of the bright club, where some pretty blonde is trying to press up against him and run his fingers through his hair. dabi leans out of his touch, but the blonde latches onto his neck anyways, and for a moment dabi can just imagine that he might be someone else. ]
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if keigo had the actual use to his abilities with his wings, he maybe could have found that person in his mind. yet, these were just for show. they moved along with him though. it was...better than nothing. and already, he's had a few people who thanked him for his work in life during the previous search. mostly, his wings seemed to attract grabby hands and intimate promises, all of which keigo waves off.
they're not who he's looking for. there was only one who could fulfill that role for the hero.
searching the club is becoming almost hopeless. he tries asking, sparing a name, two actually, but he's given shrugs or told to stop his search and dance with whoever he's asking. he always declines. he doesn't want to dance. he doesn't want to do anything but find this stupid idiot. keigo was going to go crazy if he can't.
it's while rounding a corner, waving off another offer to the dance floor and holding back a sour expression, that keigo almost stumbles into an affectionate couple hiding in the dark. he's about to apologize, to leave and try to scan the club one more time, but keigo can't help but...stare. not at the blond who appears to be trying way too hard, but at the white haired, pretty blue eyed man.
yes. that has to be him! keigo knows that hair, those eyes, he knows them from anywhere-!
the scars aren't there. but in a place like this, it's to be expected. how could keigo have forgotten? his own scars were well hidden away too. he's positive he's not breathing any longer. his chest was pounding. not even the base of the music could keep him from hearing his own heartbeats.
the blond shoots him a glare and it's enough to get him to snap from his thoughts. jealousy immediately hits him, goads keigo to move without thinking. next thing he realizes, he's pressing up to something that's familiar, hands gripping a shirt while golden eyes narrow. at least keigo gives a smile, even if empty of kindness.]
Get lost. He's taken.
[words he has no right to say any longer, but feels deeply for. after all, he once belonged to this man, and claimed the right to call him his own. keigo needed to see him though. he had to talk to him. and he couldn't do it with this pretty floozy between them.]
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he only had one goal. one reason to stay alive. that entire reason was snatched away from him here.
he had thought about ending his life as well, just like he just about did when he was a kid. but he doesn't. for some reason, he doesn't. maybe he's just trying to pass the time until he figures out just what the hell is going on with him. maybe in the end he's too much of a coward to die.
the blonde that has him pressed up against the wall isn't exactly what he wants, but he's close enough for now. at least it's something in this vast world of nothingness. dabi still isn't used to people looking at him like he's just another person, and so maybe he lets himself indulge in that too. maybe that's why he's letting this guy get all up on him. he's pretty enough, even though he doesn't have those sharp golden eyes and those pretty red wings.
not like this guy who's suddenly in front of him, yanking the pretty blonde away from his chest and sending him away.
dabi's eyes go wide as he sees who it is and he thinks he might really be losing his mind now. first this place, then hawks of all people. dabi just blinks at him while he sends the other man away. maybe this is another figment of his imagination. maybe this is when the torture really starts. ]
You've gotta be shitting me.
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Dabi...
[the name is practically a memory for him now. he used to say it multiple times a day.
pulling back, just a bit, keigo looks up, to get a better view of dabi’s features. the villain was attractive. he’s always been handsome and devilish. but it’s a different form of attractiveness here. knowing who it is, of their previous intimacy, it only makes dabi more breathtaking in keigo’s eyes.
he doesn’t know what to say now. the last time they met, they had tried to kill each other. before keigo could even process it all, he had been given dabi’s status. it broke his heart. worst than discovering his own personal loss.
what had he done all of that for? what was the point? the lives he saved, of course. but his losses had broken him. this is his last chance.
so he can’t help but look at those blue eyes, hurt and pain that he feels filling his golden irises.]
I-..I needed to see you.
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whatever it is though, this other replacement blonde doesn't matter anymore. dabi shoots him a look, blue eyes just as fiery and deadly as before, even without his flames. ]
You heard him, get the fuck outta here.
[dabi's attention is only on him for a moment longer before it's back on keigo again, trying to figure out just what in the fuck is happening here. he hasn't seen a single soul here that he's recognized. keigo is the first of them and the last dabi would have wanted to see, even if he knows he's lying about that one. it's not a coincidence that the only one hanging on him was some pretty blonde who probably could have passed for keigo from behind.]
I don't fuckin' understand. What are you... how are you here? How'd you find me?
[he asks as if he knows what's been going on with him this past month or two, even though he doesn't have any fucking idea.]
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his jealousy is stroked into pride when he watches dabi snap to the pretty blond. he would feel bad if he wasn’t so jealous of the fact that someone had touched what keigo claimed at his own. had claimed. before he ruined it and lost everything.
nonetheless, he didn’t want some other person, especially a pretty blond like that, touching dabi.
the attention is back on him again. keigo practically feels weak at his knees under those beautiful eyes. while the face was different now, without the scars, dabi was still the devious and attractive man he knows the prior villain to be.
keigo bravely stands though, and he can’t resist reaching over and gathering dabi’s shirt into his grasp. real. this was real now.]
I’ve been looking everywhere for you. I had to see you-I...I want to talk with you. Can we go somewhere?
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Those are the times he feels trapped, like this is some kind of hell. he wonders if he's really locked away in some prison cell, his body wasting away while he's trapped inside some kind of other universe, or hell. it doesn't feel like hell though, but it doesn't feel like heaven either. if it was, he wouldn't have this heavy ache and dread inside of him. he wouldn't feel like crawling out of his unscarred skin. in the end, Dabi really doesnt know what this is.
and now he has Keigo standing in front of him and his mind is swirling around with so many emotions. the other man looks... he looks perfect with his bright, big wings and not a scar on him. Dabi knows for a fact he didn't leave him that way. not after he found out just how incredibly Keigo had betrayed him.
and for a moment he's just so relieved to see this person who was starting to mean everything to him, that he forgets that pain and anger until Keigo grabs his shirt again and says he wants to talk, looking at him so desperately. ]
No. No fuckin' way.
[he shoves Keigo's hands off of his shirt and takes a step back, and another, until he's moving back into the crowd. he turns and pushes through them, trying to get away from the traitor who still makes his insides clench in such an intense kind of way.]
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but perfection doesn’t last. it never does, if keigo thought about it.
because quickly, dabi pulls away, and the hero knows he should have expected it. he knows. he knows what he did. and keigo spends every day regretting it. there’s a permanent reminder with his body of it, the absence of this man in front of him.
despite knowing and expecting this reaction, it hurts more than anything he’s experienced.]
Dabi, wait-
[quickly, he hurries after the once villain, pushing into the crowd. he shoves people away, so desperate to not lose the most important thing to him.]
Dabi-please wait!
[with a quick lurch forward, he’s able to grab dabi's wrist tightly. there’s fear there, expecting fire. he knows no quirk exist in this place. but still, he holds that fear deep within him. he ignores it though, pushes through his trauma to not let dabi go.]
I won’t ever bother you again, just please listen. Please. I can tell you what’s going on.
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they don't even look at him as he pushes through the crowd, trying to put as much distance between himself and keigo as possible. keigo can't possibly be here, can he? dabi doesn't even know if this place is real.
despite all the noise he can still hear keigo calling out to him, but he's determined to get out of here and get lost. how long has he been here now? weeks? months? he's lost track of time, but he knows his way around here by now.
he's almost at the exit when the hand clamps around his wrist, holding on to him tightly. he stops and turns abruptly, raising his arm as if he's going to produce flames and attack. nothing happens of course, but he hasn't gotten used to being quirkless yet. he feels very much like a cornered animal.
still, he's ready to fight with all he's got, but then keigo says he can tell him what's going on, and dabi is so desperate to know, that his whole expression changes. he lowers his arm and he stops trying to yank himself away. he probably shouldn't trust a single damn thing keigo says- the fucking traitorous bastard that he is, but if knows even a little bit of what's going on, dabi needs to hear it. ]
You expect me to fuckin' believe you, traitor?
[he can't help but say, even if he knows he's going to give into it. looking at keigo makes his stomach lurch. he remembers when looking at hawks used to make him feel a different kind of way.]
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he tries not to think of it though. he needed to talk, to say what was on his mind, less he regret it. it’s his last shot. his last opportunity.
fear immediately comes to golden eyes when dabi stops and turns around. it’s the way the once villain presents himself, as if he could burn keigo right then and there. his blood runs cold, breath hitches as panic almost forms.
but with no heat, heat he remembers craving to feel before fearing it, keigo is able to calm his growing anxiety. dabi’s expression changes too, and keigo finds it relieving. he doesn’t let go of dabi. a part of him was afraid that the white haired man would try to leave again.
oh, it’s hard to not wince to the accusation though. it’s true. he was a traitor. he didn’t want to betray dabi. but he...he had to.]
San Junipero. It’s..a simulated reality.
[worriedly almost, he looks around. no one has really paid them much attention. but still...keigo didn’t want to speak so freely in the public.]
I know you don’t want to believe anything I say, that I’m a traitor, but I can tell you everything. Can we...in private?
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the betrayal he felt when he knew keigo had ratted them out- him out, without warning- it made him hate the other man almost as much as he hated his father.
but he's here now and he's been here now for so long, knowing he can't get out... all of that has fallen to the wayside for a bit. what choice did he have but to try and get by here?
now that hawks is in front of him though, all of those deep seated emotions come rushing back and they hurt. he hasn't felt anything like this in a long time.
keigo's words hit him like a ton of bricks, though, whether they're the truth or not... he doesn't have much else to go by. and when he says it, it's as if that buzzing in his head stops, and everything becomes a little less muted. it's almost as if the place needed his awareness in order to fully set in.
he tries to keep his shock at bay, swallowing it down at forcing a blank look on his face, but his heart is racing. his gaze darts around for a moment, wondering if all these people are simulated too... but he doesn't want to believe this. ]
Let's go.
[dabi grinds out, then turns on his heels again and goes for the exit at a normal speed, shoving the door open on his way out, hoping it swings right back into keigo's face.]
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he wants to tell the other man that despite the betrayal, he never lied about his feelings. their intimacy was the most important thing to him. and he had to give it all up.
but would dabi even listen? he doubts it. dabi doesn’t owe him anything. even still, he had to try. he had to know he did that much.
keigo worriedly waits to see if dabi would listen to him about this new reality. he deserved to know that much.
thankfully, the once villain seemingly agrees. it’s relieving. keigo nods his head, glad he can do this much. quickly, almost so needy, he follows after dabi, looking over his shoulder to be sure no one was going to follow them. it causes him to almost run into the door. although a part of him is sure it’s done purposely. he catches it though and slips on through, keeping a step behind dabi.]
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all this time he's been trying not to think about keigo and everything that he left behind. knowing he's stuck here has been wearing him down bit by bit. what else did he have to live for but that goal? and then maybe something with keigo, but all of that was ripped away, even before he got stuck in this place.
and now that it's all here in front of him again, he's furious. he wants to finish the job and burn the bird to ash, but he needs answers first.
once they're outside, he walks until they reach the far side of the club near the dumpsters. a few cars are parked here and there but it's still early. no one ever wants to leave before midnight. they want to make the most of every last second. he stops when they're far enough, and whirls back around to face keigo.]
Just tell me what the fuck is goin' on here. The hell do ya mean this place is a simulation? Where the fuck am I?
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not that it should matter. it's very clear of the prior villain's stance on their fallen relationship.
no. he should stop thinking about it. it hurts. he feels broken beyond repair. dejected. useless.
the walk is relatively quiet. only noises are from the city. really, keigo would be surprised by it further if he focused on the life within these walls. however, he's too far within his own thoughts, so much that he takes a step back when dabi suddenly turns to him with his demands. a quick look around and they are alone. keigo isn't sure why he expected somewhere better. honestly, it was like the first few passes of intel when he had gone about his deception.]
It's fairly new. The public isn't aware of the San Junipero Project. It's a simulation reality designed for a select group of people to remain and live their lives in immortality. Just by willing it, you can change your appearance, pain levels. Things like that.
[keigo isn't exactly sure the due date for it to go completely live. some secrets he couldn't find out all on his own. and of course, there are secrets regarding this reality that he feels are better left unsaid.]
There's only a few hundred people here. The rest are fake, for now. Until San Junipero grows. You were put here because...
[he trails off, finding his throat drying. he doesn't want to admit it. he doesn't want to believe it. not when dabi is standing right in front of him.]
You died. Only the decease live here full-time.
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dabi listens intently, gaze boring into keigo as he speaks. it all sounds pretty unbelievable, even with the knowledge of quirks. or maybe that's why it seems so unbelievable- because it's not a quirk at all, but some kind of technology that dabi has never heard of before. he doesn't know why the fuck he should believe keigo, especially after all that had happened, but somehow... it seems to make sense. little things here and there.
he looks down at his hands, how clear they are from all the scars and how surprised he was that he was like this now. if this place could change appearance and pain levels... maybe that's why he hasn't been feeling shit lately. ]
Just by willing it? Bullshit. I didn't fuckin' pick to look like this. Who the fuck gets to decide?
[he doesn't realize that it's his family who decided this for him, without his knowledge or consent. ]
You expect me to believe that this is some tech bullshit? Not some Quirk I probably got blasted in during that war? Fuckin' pro-heroes, ya probably stuck me in here yourselves, huh.
[he says as keigo trails off. but then keigo comes out with the real truth of it, and dabi's blood runs cold and his throat goes dry as well. there's no way in hell. there's no fucking way]
You're full'a shit, you lying bastard!
[he grabs at keigo's shirt and slams him against the wall, fists curling into the fabric hard as his eyes blaze bright.]
I'm in Tartarus, right?! You assholes fuckin' got me! Fuckin' Endeavor, that no good piece a shit father'a mine. Right?! You're in my head, forcin' me to stay here! Wake me the fuck up you traitorous piece'a shit!
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Your family chose your appearance.
[keigo admits easily enough. he recalls hearing one of the brothers, natsuo, stating to give dabi his old body back.
the denial starts to come in, and keigo expects it. it was lunacy when the hero first heard of it. endeavor, with his power and money, was already much involved with the project. keigo wasn't surprised though. even if endeavor had tried to hide it.
ferocious as ever, dabi comes to shove him to the wall, forcing a surprised noise to escape keigo's mouth. in response, he braces his hands over dabi's wrist, lips turned into a frown as he looks up into bright blue eyes. they're a clear reminder of his quirk. a quirk he no longer had access to.]
Do you really think there's a quirk this powerful? Have you tried to destroy anything here? It immediately fixes itself. Just-
[he cuts himself off for a brief second, looking down at dabi's arm.]
-will your scars. Think about them on your body.
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what could he possibly escape to now if he really is dead? nothing.
nothing.
hearing that his family chose his appearance only angers him more, and he growls, pulling his hand back to let out a burst of flames that are no longer there. he punches the wall instead, so hard that he should bleed, but of course he doesn't bleed. it barely even hurts at all. ]
The fuck do I know what kinda Quirks you assholes have got?!
[he growls, then pulls back, letting go of keigo completely. he takes a few steps back, looking down at his arms, his hands. he realizes he's shaking a bit, because of course he is. it's not every day you hear you're dead, especially from someone you started to care about, who ended up betraying you so completely.
but then he shakes his head. he doesn't want to do it. not here, not now, not in front of him. his hands clench into fists and he looks at keigo darkly again.]
I don't fuckin' believe you. I ain't dead. You're just fucking with me all over again. Get the fuck away from me before I find a way to kill you.
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now, whether or not the fire would set off his anxiety was another story. he was still weary of heat and fire all together.
he hates how dabi pulls away, but this time, keigo doesn't follow. dabi is only a few feet away though.
it does hurt to see the pain there. it's not every day you're told you had died. keigo was still coming to terms with it. dabi was alive there, in front of him. it was all thanks to technology. but, in the real world, where everything was real, there's only ash left in dabi's presence, and a broken hero regretting his decisions.
keigo finds himself sighing and running a hand through his hair. he knows what time it is. he...wish he had more of it. but getting just this much was a blessing. he shouldn't even be here. he wasn't dying or elderly...]
Dabi, I'm sorry.
[for what, he doesn't elaborate.]
I-
[he can't finish because it's suddenly black in front of him, and keigo knows immediately that midnight had struck. reality. he was to go back to reality.
it leaves him feeling sour and miserable. he wanted to tell dabi so much more. time really had flown quicker than he expected.]
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he doesn't get much after that though, and part of him wishes he would. he wants keigo gone, but he also wants to understand. he doesn't know what midnight means though, because he's never left this place before.
he's left standing in that alleyway all alone with this shitty explanation and a sorry that he isn't anywhere close to wanting to hear. there's a space where keigo used to be, and now he's wondering if maybe everything the other man was saying was true or not.
he can't be dead. how can he be dead?
he's so confused and angry right now, though. he doesn't want to think about it anymore. it's too much, too painful. it would explain so much, but he doesn't want to believe it. he can't. at least midnight doesn't mean shit to him, though, so he goes back inside and gets drunk off his ass so he doesn't have to think about keigo, or any of this anymore.
or at least until things reset to the next morning. ]
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the week comes and goes, feeling like an eternity. then, the second he’s given that freedom, keigo leaps into the simulation.
he’s not sure why. no. that’s wrong. he knows exactly why.
keigo had an addiction.
and even if dabi hated him, despised his existence, keigo can’t just give up.
he returns to that same bar, dressed more provocatively. low-ride jeans, the tight black slinky shirt that dabi seemed to enjoy before. all in all, he replicated that night’s outfit. it’s not to purposely tease or taunt his former lover with, but keigo wants to test if there’s still any desire for him left. he thought he had seen it when dabi told that nameless pretty blond to back off. but he’s not so sure anymore.
could he even get dabi back to him? keigo wanted to prove he wasn’t doing this for anyone but himself. dabi is the only thing that mattered to him now.
it’s loud in the club again. dark. hot. keigo quickly walks through, starting first where he found dabi before.]
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what even is the real world? even if keigo is lying, how can he possibly get out of this?
why would keigo even come to see him to tell him that?
when he does get up, dabi trashes his place. he upends everything in anger and smashes bottles. he breaks every last mirror and tears his place apart. he falls onto his knees and he cries real tears that aren't blood. he hasn't cried in so long, he almost forgot what it felt like.
he expects keigo to come back the next night, so he stays away from the clubs. he stays away the night after that as well, wallowing in pity and sadness, tearing his place apart over and over again, but it just keeps going back to the way it was. the third night he goes to the clubs but keigo isn't there either, and he's angry at himself for even bothering to look. he doesn't want to see that traitor. that piece of shit.
he decides to drown himself in the ocean that night, and he wakes up in his bed. he stares at the ceiling for hours before he lifts his arms up to block his view and wills his scars back on his arms. they're there in an instant, just like keigo said they would be, down to the last detail. he wills them away again and they're gone.
he wonders if keigo really was telling him the truth.
that night when he goes out again, he looks like his old self. scars and black hair, with all the pain and piercings he had before. he does the same the night after that, and after that, only he doesn't go Tucker's. he goes to the trashier part of town and hits up the Quagmire, because that's really where he belongs, isn't it?
if keigo ventures to ask someone where dabi might be, they might direct him there instead. ]
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keigo is feeling dejected at the bar, thanking the last person he’s asked about dabi, when the bartender looks at him curiously. the man leans over then, motioning keigo to do the same.
”listen kid, haven’t seen the white dabi. but there’s a scarred fellow also going by dabi. sticks to the quagmire. club is outside of town. good luck.”
keigo’s eyes widen at the intel before he nods his head and thanked the bartender. immediately, he rushes out, to hunt down dabi all over again.
the quagmire has not been a club he’s been to yet. he knew of the location, and that was about it. keigo loses track of time, but gets there with enough to spare. before he even gets inside, keigo can already see the trouble this place would cause. why isn’t he surprised to find the villain in such a place?
if keigo thought tuckers had too many hands touching him, the quagmire proved that wrong. it’s filthy, smells worst. far more stuffy too. he ignores cigarette smoke blown info his face and purred words to his ear. hell, he sees a woman with a snake on her shoulders. he has to wonder if this was dabi’s ideal club scene.
smoking, fighting, and sex were all over the place. the further he goes into the club, the more he feels out of his realm. it might have been fun to come here with someone, especially with dabi once upon a time, but right then, keigo is uncomfortable. he just wanted to see dabi.
even if it gets him more hands caressing his exposed waistline.]
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when he teamed up with the league he had gone to a bar or two here and there, ones where they didn't care that he was a villain. but it was never like this. it's loud and dirty and far too handsy at the quagmire, but it also helps Dabi disappear. he can lose his mind here and pretend none of it exists.
no endeavor, no league, no pro-heroes, no Keigo.
and yet again it's a pretty blonde he finds, one who finds his scars alluring. the eyeliner on the guy even looks similar, all that's missing are the wings. dabi even imagines a new set of piercings on himself, all in a pretty little row going down his shaft.
it makes the pretty blonde's eyes water as he shoves his cock hard down his throat, hand fisted in his hair hard enough that the guy is whining. Dabi only grabs harder and fucks into his mouth even more relentlessly, relishing those tears streaming down the blonde's face.
but it isn't the same. it's never the same and Dabi is so sick of it. that's when he spots Keigo out of the corner of his eye, moving through the crowd. he smirks, then drops his head back against the wall and and fucks the guy's mouth more relentlessly, hoping to catch Keigo's eye.]
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