creamation | (no subject)

It's not an order. It's not even a demand.

[He calmly explains despite his irritation. Maybe he still has a tough time clearly dictating his ideas and desires to others. He'll work on that. In the mean time Dabi's hold on his finger is uncomfortable but he's not trying to pull free. Not yet. Not while he's trying to explain himself.]

I like this too much.

[What does he like about this? It's hard to explain.]

[ It's a good thing Shigaraki does explain himself, because Dabi is two seconds away from getting up and leaving if it were any other reason. It would change everything, and Dabi doesn't want that either. ]

Doesn't sound like you do. Sounds like you think it's disgusting.

[He lets go of Shigaraki's finger, then moves to sit up.]

And that sounded like an order to me, so don't fucking say it like that if you don't mean it.

Something can be disgusting and still be liked.

[Don't be hypocritical, Dabi. You call Shigaraki disgusting and seem to like him well enough to suck his dick.]

Well it wasn't an order. How many times do I have to tell you what goes on here stays here? [Implying that there's a separate world beyond Shigaraki's bedroom. That outside the doors- there would be orders but inside these doors?]

Are you leaving?

Hm. I wonder.

[Dabi calls him disgusting to take a jab at him, because that's what they've always done. Shigaraki calling things disgusting is quite different. Dabi knows he means it.]

You say that, but you damn well know we've crossed several lines.

[And there it is, really. Because they have.]

I don't know.

[He's quiet. Dabi's words have him thinking. He rubs the back of his neck, eyes closed as he lulls over the words. Crossed several lines. They certainly have something different going on from the rest of their relationships with the league. His brows furrow and he sneaks in a few hard scratches, hiding them with the persistent massaging of his neck.]

Forget I said something then.

[He doesn't know what to say or what to do to make it right and this may be the childish answer but for Shigaraki it's a step closer to a mature answer.]

[ He's seen Shigaraki's nervous, stressed out contemplation before and this... well, it's not that. It's different, though he can tell Shigaraki is actually thinking about it?

Maybe he shouldn't have said anything either. It definitely brings too many things into the forefront. ]

Probably for the best.

[He does decide that he's going to leave, though. If this conversation keeps up, they both might say more things they really shouldn't say. He gets up, grabbing his discarded clothes from earlier.]

I'm going out.

Alright.

[It's probably for the best. Even if they both take a lazy afternoon off. He doesn't even try to stop Dabi because a part of him realizes that maybe they do need their space. He didn't want to push away Dabi. Shigaraki really did mean it when he said he liked this and though he may have been vague about it- his feeling were still valid.]

I'll be here.

[He says, quietly. Giving the other the invitation to come back because Shigaraki isn't going to do his meetings today. He needs time to think.]

[ He gives Shigaraki a nod and without another word, he slips out of the room, feeling far too bothered by all of this. He considers going out to do some more recruitment, but he knows he's just going to end up killing all the rest of this batch as well, so he holds off.

He shouldn't have to go up to idiots when he feels like this.

Instead, he heads back to his room and drop his shit down on the floor, then falls onto his own mattress, groaning into the pillow. He definitely needs time to think. But thinking about this is too hard and sleeping is easier, so that's what he does. ]

[Shigaraki tries to think about this. But it's a distracting thought in of itself. He turns his attention instead to video games. Even that proves difficult to keep his focus. Somehow his inability to stay on top of one thought helps him drift to sleep.

When he wakes up he's disoriented and confused. It doesn't help that he smells like Dabi and yet the other isn't around. Oh. Right. He's wearing Dabi's shirt. Just this small reminder has him thinking again about this whole situation again and he's still unable to think clearly. This was a hot mess. Shigaraki decides to shower. Hopefully a nice warm shower would clear his minds.

Unfortunately... Dabi's used all the hot water and while it jolts Shigaraki awake- it's still a cruel reminder of the effects of their relationship. It's not a long shower at all, too cold to fuck around under the water.

Instead of putting on clean clothes, Shigaraki opts to wear Dabi's shirt again and a pair of fresh briefs. He lays down on the floor, pressing the side of his face into the flooring.

What a hot mess.]

[ He's not sure how much later it is when he wakes up again, but he looks over to the space next to him and Shigaraki isn't there.

It takes a moment for his brain to catch up and he remembers that he came back to his room so he could get away and think, or whatever. Well, this sort of counts, right? Sleep is supposed to clear shit up. All it's really done though, is given him this annoying itch to go check on Shigaraki and make sure he's not scratching the shit out of himself in agitation over a conversation they probably shouldn't have even started.

This boredom thing was not supposed to result in conversations.

Both of those things make him not want to go back there, so he actually does get dressed and heads out, spending the rest of the evening trying to be the best villain he can be, which probably doesn't include moping. ]

[Shigaraki could spend all day on the floor and would. If it weren't for Kurogiri reminding him that he had important matters to attend to. Things that could wait but Kurogiri insisted he get up and do something. Maybe the others knew what was going on. If they did, they didn't mention it- especially Kurogiri.

So begrudgingly, Shigaraki pulls himself together and gets dressed properly. He leaves the gloves behind, wanting to give his fingers some fresh air and to have full access to his quirk just in case. The gloves were really only a safeguard for Dabi it seemed. At least that's how Shigaraki saw it.

He doesn't get much of anything done that day and spends most of it scratching his neck raw. Eventually he excuses himself from his chores and somehow finds his way to Dabi's room. He sits inside it quietly- waiting for the other to return.]

[ when he's out on his own, Dabi always gives himself too much time to think, to plan, to obsess about things. Maybe that's why he thought it would be a good idea to join a group who could work with him- or he could work with, whatever. Better way to reel it all in and focus his goals.

He never wants his feelings to get in the way of those goals. Hell, he'd rather not have feelings at all if he can help it. Not the better ones, anyway. He's long past striving for those, that's what he tells himself. Everything will be fine if he just sticks to that.

He doesn't bother trying to do any recruiting. His villainous heart is just not into it right now. He heads to a bar where he knows they won't give him shit and he has a drink, and then he heads back because there really isn't much left to do. He gets a strange look from Kurogiri before he heads to his room. Sure, the guy has no face, but he can tell it's strange. He's not in the mood to even ask. He just wants to lay the fuck down and keep himself from going to Shigaraki's room.

Which apparently he doesn't even have to worry about, because as soon as Dabi opens his door, there he is. He pauses at the doorway, still half inside and half out.]

Did you get lost on the way to your room?

No, I didn't get lost.

[Dressed properly means he has all the hands attached. Not just father but the whole party. He crosses his legs, slouching a little on Dabi's couch with his hands neatly, and carefully, folded in his lap. He looks over at the other.]

I've been waiting for you.

[ Yeah, that's not creepy at all.

Creepy and intentional, he's almost completely sure, since Shigaraki knows how much he dislikes those hands. But why would he expect anything different? He sighs, coming inside and closing the door. ]

Well, you're the boss. Got something for me to do?

No. Nothing you don't already know to do.

[Maybe he's just visiting? Maybe he actually enjoys Dabi's company? It's hard to say.]

How was your day?

[ He already knows that's what this is, he's just being his regular shithead self about it. But Shigaraki won't bite, and Dabi is sure the other man is just as frustrated and irritated as he is. Maybe more, if he's sitting here hiding behind all those hands again.

It feels more frustrating to keep this up, than to deal with whatever they were having an issue with in the first place, at this point, so he comes over and takes his jacket off, tossing it aside before he sits on the other end of the couch. ]

Miserable, actually. Yours?

It was pretty rotten.

[He just stares at the other from behind the safety of the hands. It's not that he wore them to intentionally creep Dabi out but... they were a small comfort to Shigaraki. No one really understood this affinity for the severed hands and that was alright. They weren't meant for other people to understand.]

We need to talk.

[ He definitely knows hiding when he sees it. Dabi supposes if he had some weird thing to stick on his face for comfort, he might do the same right about now.

Talk. Right. More conversations that were never supposed to happen. But that isn't the case anymore and he knows it. Unless this goes in the other direction, but... would that even happen anymore? Dabi doesn't really want to ask. ]

Yeah. I guess we do.

You're allowed to lay off this thing if you want to. [He says sharply. It's sudden but he wanted to make that clear.]

Just because I think something's disgusting doesn't mean I don't enjoy what we have any less. We both find things disgusting. [Touch. Jizz. A lot of things on Shigaraki's part.] We can work on that together or respect it. [ha.]

[ Well.. okay. This is definitely something different. ]

Respect it? When do ever respect each other?

[All the time now, it seems. Though they do still take jabs at each other and try to one up each other... there's something underlying there now and maybe that's why it actually got to Dabi when Shigaraki made it sound like this wasn't a... a what? Relationship? No. No way. They don't do shit like that. Dabi doesn't do shit like that.

And yet. He doesn't want to lay off this thing.]

And when you say enjoy what we have, what exactly do you think it is that we have?

Hmmm... [What do they have?] Isn't it obvious?

[He says as he tries to deflect the topic. He's the one who wanted to have this talk and now he was trying to turtle his way out of it, especially now that Dabi took a swing at the bigger issue they were both dreading.]

[ It's annoying as fuck, because Shigaraki started this and now he wants to turn it back on him? Well. He isn't going to heel to this one.

He narrows his eyes and leans forward, getting closer into Shigaraki's space. ]

This must be why you're the boss, mophead. Maybe you can do a better job of explaining the obvious to me.

Huhhh.

[Comes the irritable sound out of Shigaraki's mouth as Dabi refuses to relent this one time, forcing him to try to form words that explain what they have. He hems and haws silently for a moment, debating about how to frame it and deciding how to present it.]

Well. We've got this understanding between each other. Kinda like something more than friends. [Plus, not to sound too eager:] And the sex is alright too.

[ Dabi wonders if Shigaraki thought about this all day. If he went over this in his head like he did and agonized about this stupid thing they have together that isn't exactly so stupid after all. ]

I guess it would have to be more than friends since we were never friends in the first place, Shigs. Is the sex just alright?

[He sits back, eying him.]

Does it really bother you when I say I'll lay off this thing?

[He squints at Dabi when the other asks if the sex is 'just alright.' They both know it's more than alright. But fuck if Dabi will ever get a solid answer from Shigaraki.]

It does. A lot. [At least Dabi gets an honest answer there.]