creamation | (no subject)

[ Yeah, that's not creepy at all.

Creepy and intentional, he's almost completely sure, since Shigaraki knows how much he dislikes those hands. But why would he expect anything different? He sighs, coming inside and closing the door. ]

Well, you're the boss. Got something for me to do?

No. Nothing you don't already know to do.

[Maybe he's just visiting? Maybe he actually enjoys Dabi's company? It's hard to say.]

How was your day?

[ He already knows that's what this is, he's just being his regular shithead self about it. But Shigaraki won't bite, and Dabi is sure the other man is just as frustrated and irritated as he is. Maybe more, if he's sitting here hiding behind all those hands again.

It feels more frustrating to keep this up, than to deal with whatever they were having an issue with in the first place, at this point, so he comes over and takes his jacket off, tossing it aside before he sits on the other end of the couch. ]

Miserable, actually. Yours?

It was pretty rotten.

[He just stares at the other from behind the safety of the hands. It's not that he wore them to intentionally creep Dabi out but... they were a small comfort to Shigaraki. No one really understood this affinity for the severed hands and that was alright. They weren't meant for other people to understand.]

We need to talk.

[ He definitely knows hiding when he sees it. Dabi supposes if he had some weird thing to stick on his face for comfort, he might do the same right about now.

Talk. Right. More conversations that were never supposed to happen. But that isn't the case anymore and he knows it. Unless this goes in the other direction, but... would that even happen anymore? Dabi doesn't really want to ask. ]

Yeah. I guess we do.

You're allowed to lay off this thing if you want to. [He says sharply. It's sudden but he wanted to make that clear.]

Just because I think something's disgusting doesn't mean I don't enjoy what we have any less. We both find things disgusting. [Touch. Jizz. A lot of things on Shigaraki's part.] We can work on that together or respect it. [ha.]

[ Well.. okay. This is definitely something different. ]

Respect it? When do ever respect each other?

[All the time now, it seems. Though they do still take jabs at each other and try to one up each other... there's something underlying there now and maybe that's why it actually got to Dabi when Shigaraki made it sound like this wasn't a... a what? Relationship? No. No way. They don't do shit like that. Dabi doesn't do shit like that.

And yet. He doesn't want to lay off this thing.]

And when you say enjoy what we have, what exactly do you think it is that we have?

Hmmm... [What do they have?] Isn't it obvious?

[He says as he tries to deflect the topic. He's the one who wanted to have this talk and now he was trying to turtle his way out of it, especially now that Dabi took a swing at the bigger issue they were both dreading.]

[ It's annoying as fuck, because Shigaraki started this and now he wants to turn it back on him? Well. He isn't going to heel to this one.

He narrows his eyes and leans forward, getting closer into Shigaraki's space. ]

This must be why you're the boss, mophead. Maybe you can do a better job of explaining the obvious to me.

Huhhh.

[Comes the irritable sound out of Shigaraki's mouth as Dabi refuses to relent this one time, forcing him to try to form words that explain what they have. He hems and haws silently for a moment, debating about how to frame it and deciding how to present it.]

Well. We've got this understanding between each other. Kinda like something more than friends. [Plus, not to sound too eager:] And the sex is alright too.

[ Dabi wonders if Shigaraki thought about this all day. If he went over this in his head like he did and agonized about this stupid thing they have together that isn't exactly so stupid after all. ]

I guess it would have to be more than friends since we were never friends in the first place, Shigs. Is the sex just alright?

[He sits back, eying him.]

Does it really bother you when I say I'll lay off this thing?

[He squints at Dabi when the other asks if the sex is 'just alright.' They both know it's more than alright. But fuck if Dabi will ever get a solid answer from Shigaraki.]

It does. A lot. [At least Dabi gets an honest answer there.]

[ He'll get a solid answer eventually if he wants to. He knows he will if he goes about it the right way, but there's no need to push it right now. This isn't about a power play. ]

Huh. Then I guess I won't say it anymore. Not like I wanna lay off anyway. You're right, the sex is pretty alright.

[Dabi decides that there's no way around this. Whatever this boredom was that they wanted to scratch, it's turned into something else completely. Maybe neither of them can really say what it is yet, but it's more than friends.]

Can you take that hand off your face now? I'd like to see it.

[Shigaraki honestly can't put a label on what they have. Everything else seems so fast and sudden? How do you move from not-friends to beyond-friends? They weren't exactly dating either, not that Shigaraki would call Dabi his boyfriend. (Not now anyways.) That term seemed even more like a trigger that would push them apart. But they have been intimate and have done things that 'friends' don't often do.]

My face?

[Or the hand. He's weary about taking off the hand. The last time Dabi had him take off his hand- it started this whole mess. But he complies with the request, setting his beloved father in the safety of his lap.]

Yeah, your face. I'd rather see your face.

[Shigaraki complies more easily than he thought he would and Dabi's relieved he doesn't have to argue it some more. He knows Shigaraki is attached to that hand, but... he happens to be attached to Shigaraki's face.

So maybe they don't have a label for whatever the hell they are. Do people like them even use them? He's not sure, because in all his years since he left his old life behind, he never thought he'd actually find anyone to be closer to. Not like this.

And maybe something shifted even more this morning, putting them in this spot.]

Are you okay with all of this?

We wouldn't be having this conversation if I wasn't okay with all of this.

[He doesn't exactly mind taking off father. His hesitancy was more in the fact that the hands made him feel safe. They were a way to hide away from.

Softly, he reassures;]

I like this.

[ Dabi knows that's what the hands are, and he doesn't want Shigaraki to hide away from him. He hates that the other man showed up here in full regalia, but he also gets it. He probably wouldn't have done things any differently. ]

Yeah, well... I don't know if I was okay with all of this.

[Just to let Shigaraki know. But that doesn't mean he wants to leave.]

I had time to think and I've changed my mind, so. Yeah. Here we are.

Changed your mind?

[He's asking for a clarification or an explanation. Dabi's the one who sparked this whole thing. Shigaraki had the power to push him away but no one ever expects boredom to go too far. Was this too far? Maybe. But Shigaraki didn't put a stop to it and won't put a stop to it. Not with the feelings he had for Dabi.]

We're still going to do this then?

Yeah. It's...

[Hard to explain, he wants to say. Maybe like Shigaraki, he wants to weasel his way out of this question. But he presses on, letting out a long sigh.]

It wasn't supposed to be this. And I'm only admitting this because I know you know what I mean. That's why shit went the way it did earlier today. That's why I left.

[Shigaraki's words got to him. He realized that in all of their power play nonsense, in all of the games they play, this wasn't actually a game of boredom anymore. He didn't want to be with Shigaraki because of some kind of order. Not like when his boss first asked him to stay.]

Yeah, we're still going to do this. I don't wanna stop.

I don't want to stop either. I'm just- [He wants to say afraid but. He's not really afraid of this. Maybe he's scared that this will transform into something that will crash and burn. But having that fear is what brought them to this conversation. Shigaraki pauses, trying to reword what he wants to say.]

I've never felt this way before.

[It's the truth and explains everything; from the way he acts to the way he frames his answers.]

[ A time ago Dabi would have called this pathetic. The two of them searching for words, trying to say something right because it actually meant something. Because they actually cared.

Another weakness, he would have thought, and that very well may still be true, but it doesn't seem like either of them are putting too much weight into that. No- what they're deciding is that maybe it's worth it anyway, despite all of that. ]

Neither have I. I didn't ever want to.

[Does he want to, now? Only if it's with Shigaraki.]

It's dangerous, you know.

As if I'm not already playing with fire. [Ha. ha. But he knows the dangers and doesn't mind them. He's already been burned once by Dabi, what's the worst he could do?]

I don't know what happens with these things. [He leans forward.] And that scares me but I want this thing we have anyways.

Hah. You are.

But this time I'm not talking about us. I'm talking about weakness.

[Things that others can take advantage of. Worry and protectiveness. Because Dabi is certainly feeling that way now. He knows how those kind of things can be manipulated.]

You like me enough to admit your scared. That really is something.

[He's only mildly teasing this time, but he leans in and kisses Shigaraki to make up for it, sliding a hand into his hair.]

I guess we're both in, then.

That's why it stays inside our rooms, right? [Seems a bit harsh but Dabi's got a point about weaknesses. If the others knew, or heroes knew, then they'd be even bigger targets. Not only that but it looked poorly for a boss to have a clear favorite.

Shigaraki kisses back in the brief moment that their lips touch.]

You know what I mean. [Don't tease him like that babe.] Yeah. Still I am sorry if I came off too aggressively about this the other day.

Right...

[It's not that harsh, not when it comes to the two of them, but... Dabi has a feeling some of the others might already suspect something, especially with how loud they've been lately. If the heroes knew, it would be detrimental to them all, he imagines.]

We want it to stay inside our rooms, that would be ideal, but... I think we have to be realistic about that too.

[He leaves his lips against Shigaraki's, nipping lightly. Yeah, this is much better than whatever shitty distance he needed. It still irritates him a little, that he's fallen into something like this, but he started it. He started it and now he really likes it.]

I know what you mean. It wasn't too aggressive. It just made me realize some things I didn't want to realize.

[Feelings.]