[having dabi start on his back immediately comes to take his breath away. it's...a lot more than he expects it to feel. his lips come to squeeze together, his teeth biting on the inside of his mouth. he even begins to dig sharp nails into his shirt, trying to not shred it.
quietly, he chants dabi's name in his head, trying to blink away the tears that begin to form.
but, his villain begins to talk, and it makes him happy that dabi is doing this much for him. but, as he comes to hear those words, it also pains him. would dabi still intend on doing what he needs to, even if it meant his death? would he leave keigo?
the hero knows he doesn't have any right in regards to being a part of the villain's life, yet, he hoped to be there.
there isn't much for him to live for if it means losing dabi in the end.
it takes him a moment to try and respond verbally, between the sore throat and pain of dabi touching his back. he's nervous he'll make a pained sound, and he doesn't want to worry the villain.]
[ there's nothing more dabi can do about the pain than give keigo all those painkillers. they usually dull him enough that he can get through a bad time, even with him already being so used to them. maybe he should wait a while longer for them to kick in some more... but he doesn't want to wait with this. he doesn't want to leave them unattended for any longer than they already have.
maybe all those questions keigo has are ones he should ask out loud, seeing as he wants dabi to talk, because it's definitely not information he would volunteer all on his own, especially now.
he wonders if keigo even understands what his final goal is now, knowing who he is.
but keigo switches topics, and this is one that dabi really doesn't want to get into. it's one thing to talk about the revenge he's going to take on the man that ruined everyone's lives- but it's another to go digging into all that pain and anger at a time like this. dabi wants to let the world know what that monster has done, but everything that had happened to him as touya... it's a lot. ]
[eventually the painkillers have to work. keigo wasn't one for taking pain medication often, so it might be safe to assume the three dabi gave him would surely incapacitate him sooner or later. he can understand the need to work fast. it's been awhile since he's actively was burned. he'd be lucky to avoid infection.
keigo really didn't want him or dabi to have to make a deal with the doctor if it came to his burns worsening.
the questions are still within his thoughts. he naturally wants to ask, but the idea of upsetting dabi is constantly going through his mind. he's so tired of their fighting. and, he knows it'll get worst before it gets better. if it gets better.
they're no where near as before, maybe ever again to reach that same point. they just needed to get through the hurdle and uneasiness between them. then, maybe, their fighting and arguing won't be as bad.
he can't avoid the questions forever though. he needed to know in due time. with dabi having a desire, one that may leave him dead, keigo needed to know. he had to...
the pain continues to strike him, and keigo has to use his shirt to bite down on. his breathing is starting to get labored, and quietly, he's begging for those painkillers to hurry and knock him out. at least he can still focus on dabi and what he responds with.]
He...He hurt..you, didn't he?
[no. he did more than that. keigo has seen the signs. he sees himself in dabi at times. he understands.]
[ they probably couldn't go back to the doctor right now even if they wanted to. everything is too messed up and dabi is too uncertain about who they can trust and who they can't. they need to deal with this themselves and figure it out before they can regroup.
hell, dabi doesn't even know if he can trust keigo anymore, but for now at least, he has to.
he doesn't have any fight left in him anymore, whether he wants to or not. his entire body aches with how hard he's used his quirk, and he knows if he keeps going like this, he won't make it long enough to reach his goal.
his goal of bringing endeavor down. of ruining him in every last way possible. he wants to break him and then kill him for everything he's done, not just to him, but his family. ]
That's a fuckin' understatement.
[dabi says quietly, darkly. he starts trying to work around the most burnt part of keigo's feathers, trying to figure out what will get in the way of healing, and which parts of those feathers can stay.]
Started before I was even born. He wanted to breed someone who would be strong enough to take over the number one spot. He bought my mother, pretty much raped her. He's good at that, ya know. It's amazin' what ya pro-heroes can get away with.
[keigo can only nod to the quiet, dark words. a part of him wasn't sure he was ready to hear this, but he needed to hear it. he had to know what happened to touya. what shaped touya todoroki into the villainous dabi. he had to know what endeavor was hiding from the world.
dabi wouldn't be here, like this, for just nothing. keigo knows dabi. he knows the villain to have a soft side to him, beneath the anger and resentment.
not to mention, the signs that have been given to him.
taking in quiet breaths, steadying himself to listen, keigo peers over his shoulder. it does strain his back in a painful way, but he needs to see the villain's face. the more dabi speaks, the more it pulls at his heart. his gaze doesn't last long when the villain brings up how heroes can get away with plenty. he's well aware of that.
and he knows who was in charge of keeping things covered and kept a deep secret.
a feeling of sickness begins to steady in the pit of his stomach to learn this about the man he thought to have rescued him. the entire time he was admiring endeavor, was he...?]
You look up to him, right? I've seen ya on TV with the shitty number one.
[it's always made his blood boil, but he noticed that once the two of them started up with... Whatever this thing between them was... Hawks spent less time with the other heroes.]
If your hero commission threatened me with Endeavor and wanted ya to tell him everythin', didn't ya think somethin' was up with him?
[Dabi has a lot of thoughts about that. A lot of angry feelings about this whole thing with Keigo and the information he told him. It makes him angry to think Keigo knew how bad they could be.
But he also knows he's only given Keigo bits and pieces of himself. Just vague comments about his abusive father and what he had to go through. Does Keigo believe it now that he know that man is Endeavor?]
He didn't even look at me until I nearly burned my arm off discoverin' my Quirk. I was... fuck, I was so god-damned excited that he finally looked at me the way I had hoped he would. I was finally useful to him.
And then he started trainin' me. It was endless. At first I thought it was the best thing in the world, ya know? But when your skin is meltin' off and your face is shoved into your own blood and vomit time and time again... I mean, ya know. Ya kinda start wonderin' what the fuck's wrong with ya.
[he stops, nearing the most sensitive parts of Keigo's wings, brushing away the feathers that are too burned.]
I always hated the doctors that would come by to "fix me up" when I was too damaged, or when he kicked into me too hard. But even then I still...
[he swallows hard, his hands dropping down into his lap.]
Still wanted to be a hero. Still wanted to make him proud. He didn't give a shit anymore cause the boy he bred was useless to him. He'd tell me every fuckin' day how useless I was. Until... my mom was useless too I guess, and then he found a better use for me.
[there's almost a startled look to his eyes when dabi comes to question his appreciation over endeavor. he swallows, but nods his head.]
He...had saved me..from my father.
[but, in the end that would only lead to his mother selling him in the end. to his handlers. who weren't any better.
his feelings regarding endeavor were all changing here though. even if he is, or was, a hero, he refuses to condone the actions of a man who so brazenly committed a heinous action. several, by the sound of it, in fact. besides, he's already decided to throw away his old life. freedom was right here, with dabi.
the thoughts are put to a halt as he hears the question, and keigo repeats it quietly to himself, tries to think back to that time when his handlers had threatened him.]
I naively...assumed him wanting....to capture a notorious..villain.
[endeavor went on about the desire here and there. but it wasn't just with dabi. he brought up other players of the league. he always was more passionate about the nomu. but, there's a few things that don't make sense either in regards to endeavor and his handlers. he's not even sure dabi would be able to answer them.
he forces the thoughts to be put to rest as the villain continues.
hearing dabi's childhood desire to be noticed by his father, it immediately reminds him of his own dad. he used to beg for a life where his father was a loving man, to not raise his hand and hit him, to not pull on his feathers and bark over his more bird mannerisms.
keigo gasps out hard as soon as dabi comes to touch over the sensitive part of his wings. they tremble and curl down as much as they can while keigo fights back tears. unfortunately, it's a bit too much for him to handle, and he pushes a hand to squeeze dabi's thigh, breathing out heavier, trying to bite back the whine.
he struggles and tears manage to leak down his face, and keigo isn't sure if it's from the pain or the more dabi explains of his past. it all just hurts so much. he can't speak without crying out, but he's still doing his best to listen. he had to hear all of it. he had to know what touya went through.]
[ dabi tenses up hard when keigo says it was his father who saved him from his own father. dabi wonders what endeavor must have gotten out of that. probably just wanted to beat the number one hero.
and really, what a fucked up joke from the universe, to set the two of them together like this after being saved and ruined by endeavor. would keigo still look up to him now, though? knowing everything he's done? dabi is fearful of it. ]
Yeah? And now? What about now?
[[ maybe he shouldn't ask... maybe he'll regret it, but a part of him has to know.
the rest is almost too much for dabi to bear as well, his hands curling into heated fists. he can feel it all start to painfully move through his limbs again, and it's only the way keigo squeezes his thigh that gets him to be able to reel it back in again.
they both need a pause. both from the story of his past, and the pain of working on his back.]
[as dabi comes to admit all of his feelings towards endeavor, keigo struggles through the pain, forcing wet eyes to focus on the villain.]
I’m..trying not to...vomit for what..he’s done to you...and....your family.
[keigo states honestly through hard breaths. his vision is getting blurred though, due to all this pain he feels.]
I’m...I’ll never stand..with that man again.
[his vision starts to go black by the last words, and whether it’s from the pain or drugs, he’s not sure. eyes closed tight, he stops squeezing dabi’s thigh.]
I’m....sorry......can’t keep..eyes opened.
[they’re barely whispered before keigo passes out, no longer able to remain awake.]
[ dabi has gotten sick over it many times. well... maybe not so much dabi, but back then when he still went by touya, it would make him sick all the time. now it just makes him angry.
dabi doesn't want pity though. he doesn't want words without actions to back them up either.
he doesn't know if keigo will ever be able to back it up, or if his words are true. keigo still lied to him over and over again, just like any other hero. so he lets keigo talk, but he doesn't have anything more to say right now. luckily he doesn't have to, because keigo passes out, and maybe that's for the best. dabi doesn't want to talk anymore, and it'll be easier to fix keigo up if he's out of it.
he makes sure the other man doesn't fall, sliding his legs up around him to steady him a little bit and after a few deep breathes he gets back to work, making sure to cover his entire back with the enhanced ointment that ujiko gave him. he then wraps him up in bandages, including the parts of his wings that need some help, careful not to wrap too tight.
it's only after that, that he tends to his own wounds, noticing that he might need to move some of the placement of the staples and fix up the ones that have come out... but he'll do that later. right now he's exhausted and the mattress is far away.
he almost considers sleeping here on the cold floor, but that wouldn't be good for keigo either, so he gathers all of his strength and drags keigo over there, flopping them down. ]
[keigo is unconscious for awhile. by the time he stirs awake, he's not sure how long he's been asleep. it's dark outside though, and he aches. it's not as bad as before though. the ache is dull, a sign of recovery.
quietly, he notes it must have been a few days when he feels small wings fluttering on his back. they're sore when he moves, but at least they're starting to grow.
unfortunately, trying to give a light hum only reminds him that his throat remains sore. he probably had overdone it by speaking so much at that time to dabi. but, it had to be done. there was no way he could explain things so accurately and honestly with a phone. it's not as painful as that day though.
speaking of, he tries to adjust his head, tilting up to see a single arm and leg wrapped around dabi's figure. they're laying on something soft, so dabi must have dragged them to the only mattress. his chest warms at the thought of the villain giving his all to do that.
he sighs, coming to turn a bit so he can wrap his wings half-way around dabi's body. so silent in the night, his mind starts to piece together what he was too exhausted to think about before. his thoughts swirl of touya, of dabi's creation, and what he should do to help the villain.
[ dabi passes out for a while as well, but then he wakes, checking on keigo first, making sure his wounds stay clean and aren't getting infected. he checks on the wings as well, but the damage that's there makes him feel uneasy, and he isn't sure how this is going to end up.
he doesn't know how any of this is going to end up.
he tries not to think about their conversation- about his name, and what he told keigo about his life, about endeavor. it's easier if he does this without thinking about it or feeling anything at all. he can't afford to do either of those things right now.
he tends to his own burns as well, stapling himself back together here and there as well, and then eventually he has to venture out for a bit. he's good at staying in the shadows, boosting some food and supplies that can hold them over for a while. he tries to get some news on what's going on with the MLA, the pro-heroes, but everything is eerily quiet. at least jin texts him back to let him know shigaraki is secure and so are they, and when should they meet up again?
dabi isn't sure.
when he comes back, he checks on keigo again, making sure he doesn't have a fever before he passes out next to him again. even that little bit of recon made him feel entirely drained and exhausted.
when he wakes again, he lifts his hand to his aching head- or tries to anyway. his fingers catch against soft feathers and for a moment he thinks he's still dreaming until he blinks his eyes open and looks down, seeing the smaller red wing settled on top of him.]
Thank fuck.
[ he breathes out quietly, letting his head drop back with relief, not realizing keigo is awake just yet. ]
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zvi and
no subject
Date: 2021-05-25 10:52 pm (UTC)quietly, he chants dabi's name in his head, trying to blink away the tears that begin to form.
but, his villain begins to talk, and it makes him happy that dabi is doing this much for him. but, as he comes to hear those words, it also pains him. would dabi still intend on doing what he needs to, even if it meant his death? would he leave keigo?
the hero knows he doesn't have any right in regards to being a part of the villain's life, yet, he hoped to be there.
there isn't much for him to live for if it means losing dabi in the end.
it takes him a moment to try and respond verbally, between the sore throat and pain of dabi touching his back. he's nervous he'll make a pained sound, and he doesn't want to worry the villain.]
What..happened...to..you....when you..were....Touya?
no subject
Date: 2021-05-26 12:09 am (UTC)maybe all those questions keigo has are ones he should ask out loud, seeing as he wants dabi to talk, because it's definitely not information he would volunteer all on his own, especially now.
he wonders if keigo even understands what his final goal is now, knowing who he is.
but keigo switches topics, and this is one that dabi really doesn't want to get into. it's one thing to talk about the revenge he's going to take on the man that ruined everyone's lives- but it's another to go digging into all that pain and anger at a time like this. dabi wants to let the world know what that monster has done, but everything that had happened to him as touya... it's a lot. ]
Not sure you're ready to hear that.
no subject
Date: 2021-05-26 03:03 am (UTC)keigo really didn't want him or dabi to have to make a deal with the doctor if it came to his burns worsening.
the questions are still within his thoughts. he naturally wants to ask, but the idea of upsetting dabi is constantly going through his mind. he's so tired of their fighting. and, he knows it'll get worst before it gets better. if it gets better.
they're no where near as before, maybe ever again to reach that same point. they just needed to get through the hurdle and uneasiness between them. then, maybe, their fighting and arguing won't be as bad.
he can't avoid the questions forever though. he needed to know in due time. with dabi having a desire, one that may leave him dead, keigo needed to know. he had to...
the pain continues to strike him, and keigo has to use his shirt to bite down on. his breathing is starting to get labored, and quietly, he's begging for those painkillers to hurry and knock him out. at least he can still focus on dabi and what he responds with.]
He...He hurt..you, didn't he?
[no. he did more than that. keigo has seen the signs. he sees himself in dabi at times. he understands.]
Please..tell me?
no subject
Date: 2021-05-26 12:19 pm (UTC)hell, dabi doesn't even know if he can trust keigo anymore, but for now at least, he has to.
he doesn't have any fight left in him anymore, whether he wants to or not. his entire body aches with how hard he's used his quirk, and he knows if he keeps going like this, he won't make it long enough to reach his goal.
his goal of bringing endeavor down. of ruining him in every last way possible. he wants to break him and then kill him for everything he's done, not just to him, but his family. ]
That's a fuckin' understatement.
[dabi says quietly, darkly. he starts trying to work around the most burnt part of keigo's feathers, trying to figure out what will get in the way of healing, and which parts of those feathers can stay.]
Started before I was even born. He wanted to breed someone who would be strong enough to take over the number one spot. He bought my mother, pretty much raped her. He's good at that, ya know. It's amazin' what ya pro-heroes can get away with.
no subject
Date: 2021-05-26 02:49 pm (UTC)dabi wouldn't be here, like this, for just nothing. keigo knows dabi. he knows the villain to have a soft side to him, beneath the anger and resentment.
not to mention, the signs that have been given to him.
taking in quiet breaths, steadying himself to listen, keigo peers over his shoulder. it does strain his back in a painful way, but he needs to see the villain's face. the more dabi speaks, the more it pulls at his heart. his gaze doesn't last long when the villain brings up how heroes can get away with plenty. he's well aware of that.
and he knows who was in charge of keeping things covered and kept a deep secret.
a feeling of sickness begins to steady in the pit of his stomach to learn this about the man he thought to have rescued him. the entire time he was admiring endeavor, was he...?]
no subject
Date: 2021-05-26 03:22 pm (UTC)[it's always made his blood boil, but he noticed that once the two of them started up with... Whatever this thing between them was... Hawks spent less time with the other heroes.]
If your hero commission threatened me with Endeavor and wanted ya to tell him everythin', didn't ya think somethin' was up with him?
[Dabi has a lot of thoughts about that. A lot of angry feelings about this whole thing with Keigo and the information he told him. It makes him angry to think Keigo knew how bad they could be.
But he also knows he's only given Keigo bits and pieces of himself. Just vague comments about his abusive father and what he had to go through. Does Keigo believe it now that he know that man is Endeavor?]
He didn't even look at me until I nearly burned my arm off discoverin' my Quirk. I was... fuck, I was so god-damned excited that he finally looked at me the way I had hoped he would. I was finally useful to him.
And then he started trainin' me. It was endless. At first I thought it was the best thing in the world, ya know? But when your skin is meltin' off and your face is shoved into your own blood and vomit time and time again... I mean, ya know. Ya kinda start wonderin' what the fuck's wrong with ya.
[he stops, nearing the most sensitive parts of Keigo's wings, brushing away the feathers that are too burned.]
I always hated the doctors that would come by to "fix me up" when I was too damaged, or when he kicked into me too hard. But even then I still...
[he swallows hard, his hands dropping down into his lap.]
Still wanted to be a hero. Still wanted to make him proud. He didn't give a shit anymore cause the boy he bred was useless to him. He'd tell me every fuckin' day how useless I was. Until... my mom was useless too I guess, and then he found a better use for me.
no subject
Date: 2021-05-26 05:58 pm (UTC)He...had saved me..from my father.
[but, in the end that would only lead to his mother selling him in the end. to his handlers. who weren't any better.
his feelings regarding endeavor were all changing here though. even if he is, or was, a hero, he refuses to condone the actions of a man who so brazenly committed a heinous action. several, by the sound of it, in fact. besides, he's already decided to throw away his old life. freedom was right here, with dabi.
the thoughts are put to a halt as he hears the question, and keigo repeats it quietly to himself, tries to think back to that time when his handlers had threatened him.]
I naively...assumed him wanting....to capture a notorious..villain.
[endeavor went on about the desire here and there. but it wasn't just with dabi. he brought up other players of the league. he always was more passionate about the nomu. but, there's a few things that don't make sense either in regards to endeavor and his handlers. he's not even sure dabi would be able to answer them.
he forces the thoughts to be put to rest as the villain continues.
hearing dabi's childhood desire to be noticed by his father, it immediately reminds him of his own dad. he used to beg for a life where his father was a loving man, to not raise his hand and hit him, to not pull on his feathers and bark over his more bird mannerisms.
keigo gasps out hard as soon as dabi comes to touch over the sensitive part of his wings. they tremble and curl down as much as they can while keigo fights back tears. unfortunately, it's a bit too much for him to handle, and he pushes a hand to squeeze dabi's thigh, breathing out heavier, trying to bite back the whine.
he struggles and tears manage to leak down his face, and keigo isn't sure if it's from the pain or the more dabi explains of his past. it all just hurts so much. he can't speak without crying out, but he's still doing his best to listen. he had to hear all of it. he had to know what touya went through.]
no subject
Date: 2021-05-26 10:29 pm (UTC)and really, what a fucked up joke from the universe, to set the two of them together like this after being saved and ruined by endeavor. would keigo still look up to him now, though? knowing everything he's done? dabi is fearful of it. ]
Yeah? And now? What about now?
[[ maybe he shouldn't ask... maybe he'll regret it, but a part of him has to know.
the rest is almost too much for dabi to bear as well, his hands curling into heated fists. he can feel it all start to painfully move through his limbs again, and it's only the way keigo squeezes his thigh that gets him to be able to reel it back in again.
they both need a pause. both from the story of his past, and the pain of working on his back.]
Let's take a break.
no subject
Date: 2021-05-26 11:18 pm (UTC)I’m..trying not to...vomit for what..he’s done to you...and....your family.
[keigo states honestly through hard breaths. his vision is getting blurred though, due to all this pain he feels.]
I’m...I’ll never stand..with that man again.
[his vision starts to go black by the last words, and whether it’s from the pain or drugs, he’s not sure. eyes closed tight, he stops squeezing dabi’s thigh.]
I’m....sorry......can’t keep..eyes opened.
[they’re barely whispered before keigo passes out, no longer able to remain awake.]
no subject
Date: 2021-05-27 12:35 am (UTC)dabi doesn't want pity though. he doesn't want words without actions to back them up either.
he doesn't know if keigo will ever be able to back it up, or if his words are true. keigo still lied to him over and over again, just like any other hero. so he lets keigo talk, but he doesn't have anything more to say right now. luckily he doesn't have to, because keigo passes out, and maybe that's for the best. dabi doesn't want to talk anymore, and it'll be easier to fix keigo up if he's out of it.
he makes sure the other man doesn't fall, sliding his legs up around him to steady him a little bit and after a few deep breathes he gets back to work, making sure to cover his entire back with the enhanced ointment that ujiko gave him. he then wraps him up in bandages, including the parts of his wings that need some help, careful not to wrap too tight.
it's only after that, that he tends to his own wounds, noticing that he might need to move some of the placement of the staples and fix up the ones that have come out... but he'll do that later. right now he's exhausted and the mattress is far away.
he almost considers sleeping here on the cold floor, but that wouldn't be good for keigo either, so he gathers all of his strength and drags keigo over there, flopping them down. ]
no subject
Date: 2021-05-27 03:24 pm (UTC)quietly, he notes it must have been a few days when he feels small wings fluttering on his back. they're sore when he moves, but at least they're starting to grow.
unfortunately, trying to give a light hum only reminds him that his throat remains sore. he probably had overdone it by speaking so much at that time to dabi. but, it had to be done. there was no way he could explain things so accurately and honestly with a phone. it's not as painful as that day though.
speaking of, he tries to adjust his head, tilting up to see a single arm and leg wrapped around dabi's figure. they're laying on something soft, so dabi must have dragged them to the only mattress. his chest warms at the thought of the villain giving his all to do that.
he sighs, coming to turn a bit so he can wrap his wings half-way around dabi's body. so silent in the night, his mind starts to piece together what he was too exhausted to think about before. his thoughts swirl of touya, of dabi's creation, and what he should do to help the villain.
and there's only a single way to assist dabi.]
no subject
Date: 2021-05-31 08:26 pm (UTC)he doesn't know how any of this is going to end up.
he tries not to think about their conversation- about his name, and what he told keigo about his life, about endeavor. it's easier if he does this without thinking about it or feeling anything at all. he can't afford to do either of those things right now.
he tends to his own burns as well, stapling himself back together here and there as well, and then eventually he has to venture out for a bit. he's good at staying in the shadows, boosting some food and supplies that can hold them over for a while. he tries to get some news on what's going on with the MLA, the pro-heroes, but everything is eerily quiet. at least jin texts him back to let him know shigaraki is secure and so are they, and when should they meet up again?
dabi isn't sure.
when he comes back, he checks on keigo again, making sure he doesn't have a fever before he passes out next to him again. even that little bit of recon made him feel entirely drained and exhausted.
when he wakes again, he lifts his hand to his aching head- or tries to anyway. his fingers catch against soft feathers and for a moment he thinks he's still dreaming until he blinks his eyes open and looks down, seeing the smaller red wing settled on top of him.]
Thank fuck.
[ he breathes out quietly, letting his head drop back with relief, not realizing keigo is awake just yet. ]