[ dabi knows that keigo has given him bits and pieces of the truth. big things perhaps, but not enough for dabi to know if any of it was really the truth or not. or maybe it's just the fact that keigo is a pro-hero that it's always been hard to believe him, but still.
all of this though... it feels like more than that. it feels like keigo finally telling him something solid and real. not just pieces of a name. something dabi can hold on to that isn't mixed up in ten other lies.
he listens, hands falling to his knees from his hair, and he can slowly feel the heat in his body shifting from catastrophic, to something more manageable.
and yet it's still hard to hear and hard to take in, because the truth is always ugly, and it's that ugliness that he thought led keigo to them in the first place. everything the commission had done to keigo is what drove him here. he wasn't sure if he could completely believe that before, but maybe.
god, he's weak to this bird. no matter how many lies there are, he wants to fucking believe him. ]
I don't wanna burn you. I don't want ya to go back to 'em either.
[for the first time, keigo is admitting things he never had before. his handlers knew everything, he never had to say or confirm anything before this. his mother did plenty of that when she sold him.
a part of him is worried that dabi would reject him, see him as pathetic or worthless, something to throw away. it’s why he’d rather have death than return back to the monsters who bought and used him.
he just...he can’t go back to that life. if that was the cost of being a hero, keigo can’t do it. not anymore. he had a taste of freedom and it’s all he desires.
that freedom was right there, with dabi.
keigo holds back a gasp as he tries to steady the growing pain in his throat. his breathing is becoming labored, hurting even there. his lungs were on fire. but all he can focus on is dabi, feeling more relieved that he can see and feel the fire lessening.
he swallows, and after giving it a few seconds, goes to speak more.]
How..c-can I..prove to you? Please...tell me..what you need...from me. I won’t..l-lie to you..any...m-more.
[ dabi doesn't expect keigo to go back to that life. he doesn't want him to, and maybe that should have been evident all along. all dabi has ever wanted was the truth.
he finally looks up, feeling the last of his anger simmer away and he's left with pure exhaustion.
does he believe everything keigo is saying? maybe not. does he think keigo sold out their location and told the heroes when to attack? yeah. keigo pretty much said so. but...maybe he wasn't meant to be included in that. he wants to hope for that, because he's got nothing left after this. ]
When ya said ya told Endeavor about the army and when to attack, what were ya gonna do about the League? Were ya gonna let 'em go down too? What about me?
[it feels like it’s been forever since he’s seen dabi without anger. it’s not good for his villain to allow his quirk out of control like that. what if dabi burns himself to ash?
keigo can’t make it without dabi. this man is the freedom he seeks.
he...
dabi’s words have the hero shaking his head. he swallows before answering.]
I...gave you a..flash drive last..night. I have..a plan on there...that you can use..like who to attack..and when.
[he has spent a lot of free time trying to come up with such a plan. the details of his work were long, but with the fallout of the meta army, they would need another plan.]
They’re...interested in Twice..wanted him captured.
[he looks away, trying to steady his breathing and voice.]
If there’s..someone you...need to kill..I can....get them to you.
[he doesn’t want to say endeavor’s name, but that’s exactly who he’s referring to.]
[ dabi is angry for a lot of reasons on the regular, but this time he knows for certain it's valid. keigo keeps coming with these things that have him wondering just what the fuck is going on and what the hell was he thinking.
it's hard not to be angry when keigo keeps giving him reasons to be.
he furrows his eyebrows and digs through his pockets, looking for this flash drive keigo gave him, and he finds it tucked away. he has no way to check it right now, but at least he has it and he can check it when he gets a chance. ]
What's the plan? Type it out on the phone.
[he doesn't want Keigo to keep talking like this, and he's angry that keigo didn't immediately just go with him to see the doctor, but what really has his eyes going wide is the other man's comment about Twice.]
They what? And ya didn't tell me or him this before? He's probably still fuckin' there!
[and that's it right there. the reason dabi keeps getting angry. keigo keeps telling him these things- these bad positions he knew he'd be putting them in and just not telling him about it. this is why dabi doesn't trust him, or feels like the hero is sticking them in a trap.]
How can I trust you to get 'em to me when ya can't even gimme the basics of what's goin' on right now. Did ya want Twice to get captured? Is that part'a your plan??
[if only keigo could have dabi just look through his own mind and memories, to see why he ticks, why he did what he did, and what is missing exactly. maybe dabi would understand. but, then again, maybe he wouldn't. they're both two different people, and his villain has his own personal agenda.
in the end though, keigo just wants to stay within dabi's shadow and not leave. he's so tired and in so much different sort of pain.
as dabi comes to pull out the flash drive, the hero slumps his shoulders. he knows they're lacking a device to use with it. without his penthouse too, keigo can't show the plan in detail.
but, his villain requests of him to type it out, and he nods his head, starting to do just that. it's a long, thought out plan. in brackets, keigo adds in what he believes should be changed, due to the lack of the meta army now.
however, the plan is only a few sentences in when dabi snaps at him again. immediately, keigo lowers the phone and shakes his head, light glare in his eyes.]
I-I told..him...never be alone....that they..would be...after him the most.
[twice never asked him how he knew, just nodded along with a salute, before idly saying he'd stick with dabi or toga, before making an off comment of it being a date or something close to that.]
He knows..to run away! He's...Twice is..my friend! I wouldn't...have him hurt!
[he coughs, breathing harder. the phone comes to lower in his lap, about a fourth through the plan he created.]
You don't...have to trust me. But I..I am telling you it all. I'm not..lying right here!
[ so much of this requires dabi's trust in hawks, and dabi doesn't know if he can do it. he doesn't know if keigo even deserves an ounce of it. but hawks knows who he is now. he has to decide whether he can at least try, or if he can't, he should leave the bird behind.
but how can he, knowing keigo will likely have to go back to the commission? what will they make him do then?
he wants to scream and yell at keigo. he wants to call him a dirty liar. he remembers feeling betrayed last night, just as he does now. ]
If anythin' happens to him... if they fuckin' find us, you're dead.
[that's all he has the energy to say. it's all he knows keigo has the energy for either. this is a mess, and it hurts. it hurts more than dabi thought he was even capable of feeling anymore. he closes his eyes, letting his head fall back against the wall. what are they supposed to do after this? ]
I remember now. I remember everythin' ya told me last night.
[even if dabi chooses to leave him behind, keigo hopes he's granted his death wish. he doesn't, no, he can't go back to that life. not that he'll ever repeat or say dabi's true identity. the secret would remain with him.
but, he can't put himself through the terrible life that is meant for him. if he's not to be with dabi, then death is all he can wish and plead for.
he almost begs for it, for death, at dabi's threat. he wants to tell the villain to go back and protect twice, just in case. he can't stop the other traitor from revealing more. what if they tracked down the others?
but, dabi is hurt and no where near fully recovered. he needed to take it easy. and while keigo didn't have access to much power to protect the both of them from an army, he can at least protect enough until the villain recovers a bit.
so, he nods his head to the threat, giving his throat a break. it hurts so much. but he tries to not think about it.
his fingers start to return typing, to finish up the plan. every now and then, he does cough. hopefully, within a few days, he'll be back to normal. hopefully the same with dabi too. keigo was relentlessly worried about his lover.
the nimble fingers stop and keigo looks back up to fix his gaze on the villain as he comes to admit remembering everything. there's nothing for the hero to hide, so he tilts his head, searching into those blue eyes. he is glad that dabi remembers it all. he just...wishes he never forgot in the first place.]
[ it's why dabi went back for him. it's why no matter what, he still extended that hand, not wanting to leave him there, even though keigo probably deserved to rot.
except dabi doesn't believe that either. that's what hurts the most.
he knows now that he set those fires, but didn't burn down keigo's place. that must've been what that explosion was, and now they're going to blame it on him. they're blaming the number two hero's disappearance on him too, but he can handle that much. whatever else they're planning, they'll.... figure it out. they have to. this is the end.
dabi wants to get back out there and finish this, but he has enough sense to know that he can't. not like this. he might not even recover this time, he pushed himself to such a limit, the icing on the cake being those men who were trying to assault keigo. god, he was so fucking angry at that too. he'd go back there and kill them a thousand times if he could, for ever doing that to his...
he opens his eyes to look at keigo, just staring at him for a long moment before he shakes his head, pushing himself up to stand again. ]
No.
[his insides feel like they're burning, but he's used to this sensation. it's worse than it's ever been though, but there's nothing he can do about it. he's pretty sure that aside from wanting to turn him into a nomu, there was nothing ujiko could do about his body failing him either. he wobbles a little as he heads back over to keigo, snatching up the burn cream and bandages he got from the doctor, and goes to sit behind keigo's back.]
Ya got some pretty bad burns back here. Gonna fix ya up best I can, alright? Don't freak out.
[what they do from here, keigo intends only to follow behind dabi. if the villain wants to get to the bottom of what was going on, he would assist. but, he wonders if dabi even wants that. there's something that obviously drives the villain, and if the other male wants to continue in those same footsteps, keigo would go along with it. anything, just to remain with dabi.
they'll be hunted, for sure. he doubts his handlers were going to just let him run away. they're behind a lot of bad things, and they'll do whatever they want. it's risky and dangerous for the both of them. would dabi want to deal with such trouble? keigo feels like a runaway kitten, bird more accurately, running from their abuser.
dabi's eyes are on him for awhile, and eventually the hero can't help but settle his gaze to his own lap. momentarily, anyway. because then he hears dabi finally answer, and keigo looks back up, nodding again.
he...didn't really want to talk about it either. he was tired of talking at the moment. he was tired of feeling so many different emotions, honestly. but he's being honest finally. and, that should come with some merit of it's own.
dabi gets up suddenly and keigo finds himself tensing up just the briefest of seconds. he comes closer and takes the first aid supplies, before he feels the villain settle behind him. the hero tilts his head, eyes never leaving dabi.]
O-Okay.
[he whispers out, doesn't think he'll freak out. dabi is oddly soft with his wings. he just hopes they're not in any sort of bad shape. he really wants them to heal up. he misses them far more than he expects. really, he shouldn't be so careless with them, but last night did require him to use what he had in order to properly locate and save the villain.
besides, a little fire shouldn't have done much damage to them, right?]
[ dabi won't ever let go of his goal, no matter what else is put in front of him. he's done too much to get here. he's gone through hell and he won't let it be for nothing.
now that keigo knows who he is, dabi wonders if he can figure the rest out on his own. it shouldn't be that much of a mystery what his goal is anymore, especially after the bits and pieces dabi has mentioned about his father.
he wonders what keigo will do when the time comes. dabi won't let him stand in the way.
dabi definitely feels like he needs some space, but this is more important. he had gone back to the MLA to get keigo some help, but they never got that far, and now he has to figure it out on his own. luckily, dabi is used to dealing with burns of every single kind, and he hopes he can tend to these burns just as easily.]
Can ya get your shirt off?
[he'll help, but he doesn't want to just start taking keigo's clothes off. he's not sure where they stand on any of that anymore- hard to believe, when dabi had initially gone over to make something more of this. to open himself up. it hurts, but dabi won't let himself get worked up. he can't afford to right now, and he's too exhausted to anyway.]
[it'll take intentionally piecing all the pieces together to figure out dabi's complete story, but it's not exactly at the forefront of his mind. he's far more focused on the here and now going on. maybe if he has time to relax and just think.
right then, his mind is still running at high speed, still processing everything that's happened. he worries that someone will hunt them down immediately, or that dabi will order him to run off. he's just so...unsure. so lost. tired, too.
they both probably need some space. however, they really can't be provided the luxury of it. not right now. if dabi wasn't taking care of his back, keigo would curl up and just sleep.
his head tilts up as the villain comes to request he remove his shirt. briefly, he wonders why dabi doesn't do it. he's done it before. but, he tells himself, maybe he doesn't want to aggravate keigo's injuries? that, or touching might just be too much.
keigo swallows and puts his thoughts to rest, taking the bottom of his shirt and slowly pulling it up. he does struggle, breathing out before resuming, slower this time. more and more, his back is exposed, showing the complete burn marks that go from his mid-back to his neck. his hair is fried at the bottom, leaving him with the undercut. the burns even circle around his neck, no doubt to leave a nasty scar. but, his back...
it's dark colored. the flesh isn't anywhere near like dabi's, but the skin is bright from the burns, the base of his wings fried. yet, they're still in tact, the soft dewy feathers black and shaking. keigo can't pull them, far too sensitive to do so. it wasn't like they would hold or do much either. they're incredibly soft, but also burnt. the air bothers them, and keigo has to resist moving away or covering them back up.
he finally comes to tug his shirt off and holds it firmly to his chest, body leaning over from pain. the hero tries hard to steady himself though. he didn't consider them to hurt just for being exposed. it hurts far more than his neck or throat.
but, then again, his wings was just as much of a weakness as they were his strength.]
[ dabi can already see how bad it looks, and he swallows hard, closing his eyes for a moment. but then keigo is struggling with his shirt and only then does he reach out and help, tugging at it lightly where it gets caught.
he doesn't want to make it worse though, so he lets go, his gaze settling on the other man's burnt up back. he hopes the burn cream is already helping keigo's neck, and now he just has to carefully put it on his back. he suddenly doesn't even know where to start, though, especially after seeing the state of his wings.
he can tell keigo is in a lot of pain, and he shouldn't feel bad... but he does. he really fucking does, especially when he realizes that it's his fires that did this. hawks lied to him, he got angry, and he wanted to burn the whole world down.
he didn't ask the stupid bird to run into the fire, though.
he lets out a frustrated sound that sounds more distressed than anything, and he realizes his hands are shaking. they're shaking so hard he has to clench his hands into fists and put them in his lap for a moment, watching as keigo curls into himself in pain. ]
I've got painkillers. Take some.
[he says eventually, when he can trust his voice again, and he digs into his little pack, pulling out a bottle and holds it out next to keigo's arm. he wonders if keigo is feeling the kind of pain he feels from his burns and scars every day. he really hopes not, but it looks bad.]
Take three. It might knock ya out, but ya need it. This is gonna... it's gonna hurt real bad until the ointment kicks in.
[dabi coming to help does make it a little better. keigo appreciates it, but he doesn't trust his own voice to admit it. everything, it just...it hurts. a lot.
he knows it's bad. he's just not sure how bad. he doesn't think it can be as bad as dabi's scars, or anywhere near them. he had been able to ignore them up to this point, even if adrenaline and his throat probably kept him from realizing it.
but now it's all he can focus on.
he can't say he regrets it though. he had to save dabi. at the time, he had assumed the villain to be fighting with a hero. he had wanted to protect dabi. he knows, in an instance, he would do it again. again and again. he would do anything for this villain.
no part of him blames dabi at all either. he's an adult. he made his own choice. he ran into the fire himself, knowing the consequences.
the noise that comes from his villain does worry keigo and he tenses up. he looks at nothing in particular in front of him, eyes wide in concern. he's so nervous over what dabi could be seeing or reacting to. no. it can't be that bad...
it just couldn't.
but, then dabi speaks and keigo sees the bottle next to his arm. swallowing, he nods his head, slowly taking the offered bottle and opens it carefully. three pills. he isn't worried about being knocked out. he trusted dabi. the villain wouldn't hand over his unconscious form to his handlers.
three pills are pulled to his mouth and he swallows them with spit alone. he twists the cap back on and sets the bottle beside him before returning his hand to his shirt, digging his fingernails into the material.]
[ dabi doesn't mean to make a sound, but he can't help it. keigo's wings... they're important. he knows how important they are to keigo. they're his everything. but they mean something to dabi too.
he knows deep down that if he were really angry, if keigo had betrayed him completely, those wings would be the first thing he'd take.
it makes him feel sick as he looks at keigo's back, waiting for him to take the pills. he knows they won't take too long to hit, but he stalls a bit to wait, pulling the rest of the first aid kit over to himself to see what's inside. he needs a little time as well, to get his hands to stop shaking. he can do this. he's done it to himself a thousand times before. ]
Good thing I'm an expert at burns, huh.
[he's not really joking, but maybe some sort of normal conversation would help. they've been so angry with each other, fighting so hard. everything has been painful... but he's still here. they're still here with each other.
he shifts how he's sitting, sliding a little closer and moving his legs around keigo.]
Squeeze my leg if ya need me to pause. I don't want ya passin' out on me.
[keigo's wings certainly are important. they're his everything. he gets that taste of freedom with them. they provide protection, strength, and beauty. they mean the absolute world to him. and he knows dabi likes them. he also knows the villain is aware how important they are.
for keigo, it takes a lot to allow dabi to touch them as he pleases. the hero trusts dabi with them.
if he were to ever lose them...he may never forgive the person responsible. even if that person is himself.
but the little nubs, he can still feel them. they hurt so much though. he hopes they can pull on through. he's strong. his wings are strong. and, he has an expert who knows how to handle burns. he should be fine.
dabi even says as such, and it earns a small smile from the hero. he takes it as a joke, more so to keep himself calm. the little nubs of his wings are still trembling, and keigo is sure it's more than just the pain. there's a fear of heat, one that always sticks with him. he's able to always ignore it and push on through. he's a hero, he has to manage to do that much. heroes don't stall. he's not even scared of dabi either. no. he completely trusts the villain.
his fear comes from heat alone.
so, he tries to ignore his fear like always, tries to focus more on the villain that scoots on closer to him. it does help to have dabi so comfortably close. nodding for an answer, keigo tells himself to not scratch dabi up too badly if he does need to let the villain know to pause.
maybe he just needs a distraction in the meantime.]
Can you...talk..and..keep me from thinking and feeling it?
[ after what keigo had told him dabi would think that those wings, while important, are a cage. they're what's keeping keigo grounded even if he can go up in the air. they keep him chained to these people who want to destroy him as much as endeavor destroyed him.
without them, maybe keigo would be free.
he has more tact than to say that out loud though, at least for now. he's still angry, but he's trying so hard not to be. he just wants to get through this so they can figure out the next step.
it's a big favor to ask of dabi, to ask him to keep talking. he doesn't know what to talk about, especially now. he's never been a big talker at all, and keigo should know that by now, and that's on a good day. but now? he hesitates, looking through the bag for something to clean around the burns, noticing his hands are shaking less now. maybe because he's more nervous about something else. ]
Yeah.
[he says finally, then gets to work, hoping the painkillers are starting to kick in.]
[his wings might be a cage, but they're such an important aspect of his life. he only needs the rope tying them down to be cut so that he can be truly free.
it's like there's only one strong piece left holding him down now, and then he can take off, and be free with dabi. he's so desperate for it, so desperate for the freedom that was dabi. he just doesn't want to lose his wings in the process.
of all the things he could have asked for, talking has to be the biggest, and keigo is well aware of that. especially with all the anger here, the unsure feelings that the villain must be feeling. he can't exactly be upset if dabi refuses him this.
it's a lot.
but, his villain agrees, and it lessens the tension in the hero's shoulder.]
Do you...what would you..do...once heroes are..gone?
[ dabi doesn't know if keigo can ever truly be free. not when he's so stuck on being a hero. the wings seem to be the only thing keeping him down. but at the same time, dabi wouldn't want him to lose them either- that's why he's so concerned.
he focuses his attention on the wounds now, cleaning around them slowly but surely while he tries to think of what he could possibly talk about. it's a lot to ask for, but yeah, he'll do it. he'll do it because he doesn't want keigo to be in this much pain.
the thing keigo tells him to talk about, though? it has him pausing for a moment before he slowly resumes tending to the burns. ]
Never really thought about it past what I wanted to do. Figured I'd prolly be dead after the last big one. Once I do what I gotta do... once I achieve my goal... never gave a shit about what would come after that.
[having dabi start on his back immediately comes to take his breath away. it's...a lot more than he expects it to feel. his lips come to squeeze together, his teeth biting on the inside of his mouth. he even begins to dig sharp nails into his shirt, trying to not shred it.
quietly, he chants dabi's name in his head, trying to blink away the tears that begin to form.
but, his villain begins to talk, and it makes him happy that dabi is doing this much for him. but, as he comes to hear those words, it also pains him. would dabi still intend on doing what he needs to, even if it meant his death? would he leave keigo?
the hero knows he doesn't have any right in regards to being a part of the villain's life, yet, he hoped to be there.
there isn't much for him to live for if it means losing dabi in the end.
it takes him a moment to try and respond verbally, between the sore throat and pain of dabi touching his back. he's nervous he'll make a pained sound, and he doesn't want to worry the villain.]
[ there's nothing more dabi can do about the pain than give keigo all those painkillers. they usually dull him enough that he can get through a bad time, even with him already being so used to them. maybe he should wait a while longer for them to kick in some more... but he doesn't want to wait with this. he doesn't want to leave them unattended for any longer than they already have.
maybe all those questions keigo has are ones he should ask out loud, seeing as he wants dabi to talk, because it's definitely not information he would volunteer all on his own, especially now.
he wonders if keigo even understands what his final goal is now, knowing who he is.
but keigo switches topics, and this is one that dabi really doesn't want to get into. it's one thing to talk about the revenge he's going to take on the man that ruined everyone's lives- but it's another to go digging into all that pain and anger at a time like this. dabi wants to let the world know what that monster has done, but everything that had happened to him as touya... it's a lot. ]
[eventually the painkillers have to work. keigo wasn't one for taking pain medication often, so it might be safe to assume the three dabi gave him would surely incapacitate him sooner or later. he can understand the need to work fast. it's been awhile since he's actively was burned. he'd be lucky to avoid infection.
keigo really didn't want him or dabi to have to make a deal with the doctor if it came to his burns worsening.
the questions are still within his thoughts. he naturally wants to ask, but the idea of upsetting dabi is constantly going through his mind. he's so tired of their fighting. and, he knows it'll get worst before it gets better. if it gets better.
they're no where near as before, maybe ever again to reach that same point. they just needed to get through the hurdle and uneasiness between them. then, maybe, their fighting and arguing won't be as bad.
he can't avoid the questions forever though. he needed to know in due time. with dabi having a desire, one that may leave him dead, keigo needed to know. he had to...
the pain continues to strike him, and keigo has to use his shirt to bite down on. his breathing is starting to get labored, and quietly, he's begging for those painkillers to hurry and knock him out. at least he can still focus on dabi and what he responds with.]
He...He hurt..you, didn't he?
[no. he did more than that. keigo has seen the signs. he sees himself in dabi at times. he understands.]
[ they probably couldn't go back to the doctor right now even if they wanted to. everything is too messed up and dabi is too uncertain about who they can trust and who they can't. they need to deal with this themselves and figure it out before they can regroup.
hell, dabi doesn't even know if he can trust keigo anymore, but for now at least, he has to.
he doesn't have any fight left in him anymore, whether he wants to or not. his entire body aches with how hard he's used his quirk, and he knows if he keeps going like this, he won't make it long enough to reach his goal.
his goal of bringing endeavor down. of ruining him in every last way possible. he wants to break him and then kill him for everything he's done, not just to him, but his family. ]
That's a fuckin' understatement.
[dabi says quietly, darkly. he starts trying to work around the most burnt part of keigo's feathers, trying to figure out what will get in the way of healing, and which parts of those feathers can stay.]
Started before I was even born. He wanted to breed someone who would be strong enough to take over the number one spot. He bought my mother, pretty much raped her. He's good at that, ya know. It's amazin' what ya pro-heroes can get away with.
[keigo can only nod to the quiet, dark words. a part of him wasn't sure he was ready to hear this, but he needed to hear it. he had to know what happened to touya. what shaped touya todoroki into the villainous dabi. he had to know what endeavor was hiding from the world.
dabi wouldn't be here, like this, for just nothing. keigo knows dabi. he knows the villain to have a soft side to him, beneath the anger and resentment.
not to mention, the signs that have been given to him.
taking in quiet breaths, steadying himself to listen, keigo peers over his shoulder. it does strain his back in a painful way, but he needs to see the villain's face. the more dabi speaks, the more it pulls at his heart. his gaze doesn't last long when the villain brings up how heroes can get away with plenty. he's well aware of that.
and he knows who was in charge of keeping things covered and kept a deep secret.
a feeling of sickness begins to steady in the pit of his stomach to learn this about the man he thought to have rescued him. the entire time he was admiring endeavor, was he...?]
You look up to him, right? I've seen ya on TV with the shitty number one.
[it's always made his blood boil, but he noticed that once the two of them started up with... Whatever this thing between them was... Hawks spent less time with the other heroes.]
If your hero commission threatened me with Endeavor and wanted ya to tell him everythin', didn't ya think somethin' was up with him?
[Dabi has a lot of thoughts about that. A lot of angry feelings about this whole thing with Keigo and the information he told him. It makes him angry to think Keigo knew how bad they could be.
But he also knows he's only given Keigo bits and pieces of himself. Just vague comments about his abusive father and what he had to go through. Does Keigo believe it now that he know that man is Endeavor?]
He didn't even look at me until I nearly burned my arm off discoverin' my Quirk. I was... fuck, I was so god-damned excited that he finally looked at me the way I had hoped he would. I was finally useful to him.
And then he started trainin' me. It was endless. At first I thought it was the best thing in the world, ya know? But when your skin is meltin' off and your face is shoved into your own blood and vomit time and time again... I mean, ya know. Ya kinda start wonderin' what the fuck's wrong with ya.
[he stops, nearing the most sensitive parts of Keigo's wings, brushing away the feathers that are too burned.]
I always hated the doctors that would come by to "fix me up" when I was too damaged, or when he kicked into me too hard. But even then I still...
[he swallows hard, his hands dropping down into his lap.]
Still wanted to be a hero. Still wanted to make him proud. He didn't give a shit anymore cause the boy he bred was useless to him. He'd tell me every fuckin' day how useless I was. Until... my mom was useless too I guess, and then he found a better use for me.
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zvi and
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Date: 2021-05-13 12:16 pm (UTC)all of this though... it feels like more than that. it feels like keigo finally telling him something solid and real. not just pieces of a name. something dabi can hold on to that isn't mixed up in ten other lies.
he listens, hands falling to his knees from his hair, and he can slowly feel the heat in his body shifting from catastrophic, to something more manageable.
and yet it's still hard to hear and hard to take in, because the truth is always ugly, and it's that ugliness that he thought led keigo to them in the first place. everything the commission had done to keigo is what drove him here. he wasn't sure if he could completely believe that before, but maybe.
god, he's weak to this bird. no matter how many lies there are, he wants to fucking believe him. ]
I don't wanna burn you. I don't want ya to go back to 'em either.
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Date: 2021-05-13 03:41 pm (UTC)a part of him is worried that dabi would reject him, see him as pathetic or worthless, something to throw away. it’s why he’d rather have death than return back to the monsters who bought and used him.
he just...he can’t go back to that life. if that was the cost of being a hero, keigo can’t do it. not anymore. he had a taste of freedom and it’s all he desires.
that freedom was right there, with dabi.
keigo holds back a gasp as he tries to steady the growing pain in his throat. his breathing is becoming labored, hurting even there. his lungs were on fire. but all he can focus on is dabi, feeling more relieved that he can see and feel the fire lessening.
he swallows, and after giving it a few seconds, goes to speak more.]
How..c-can I..prove to you? Please...tell me..what you need...from me. I won’t..l-lie to you..any...m-more.
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Date: 2021-05-13 11:30 pm (UTC)he finally looks up, feeling the last of his anger simmer away and he's left with pure exhaustion.
does he believe everything keigo is saying? maybe not. does he think keigo sold out their location and told the heroes when to attack? yeah. keigo pretty much said so. but...maybe he wasn't meant to be included in that. he wants to hope for that, because he's got nothing left after this. ]
When ya said ya told Endeavor about the army and when to attack, what were ya gonna do about the League? Were ya gonna let 'em go down too? What about me?
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Date: 2021-05-14 12:40 am (UTC)keigo can’t make it without dabi. this man is the freedom he seeks.
he...
dabi’s words have the hero shaking his head. he swallows before answering.]
I...gave you a..flash drive last..night. I have..a plan on there...that you can use..like who to attack..and when.
[he has spent a lot of free time trying to come up with such a plan. the details of his work were long, but with the fallout of the meta army, they would need another plan.]
They’re...interested in Twice..wanted him captured.
[he looks away, trying to steady his breathing and voice.]
If there’s..someone you...need to kill..I can....get them to you.
[he doesn’t want to say endeavor’s name, but that’s exactly who he’s referring to.]
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Date: 2021-05-14 12:58 am (UTC)it's hard not to be angry when keigo keeps giving him reasons to be.
he furrows his eyebrows and digs through his pockets, looking for this flash drive keigo gave him, and he finds it tucked away. he has no way to check it right now, but at least he has it and he can check it when he gets a chance. ]
What's the plan? Type it out on the phone.
[he doesn't want Keigo to keep talking like this, and he's angry that keigo didn't immediately just go with him to see the doctor, but what really has his eyes going wide is the other man's comment about Twice.]
They what? And ya didn't tell me or him this before? He's probably still fuckin' there!
[and that's it right there. the reason dabi keeps getting angry. keigo keeps telling him these things- these bad positions he knew he'd be putting them in and just not telling him about it. this is why dabi doesn't trust him, or feels like the hero is sticking them in a trap.]
How can I trust you to get 'em to me when ya can't even gimme the basics of what's goin' on right now. Did ya want Twice to get captured? Is that part'a your plan??
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Date: 2021-05-21 03:35 pm (UTC)in the end though, keigo just wants to stay within dabi's shadow and not leave. he's so tired and in so much different sort of pain.
as dabi comes to pull out the flash drive, the hero slumps his shoulders. he knows they're lacking a device to use with it. without his penthouse too, keigo can't show the plan in detail.
but, his villain requests of him to type it out, and he nods his head, starting to do just that. it's a long, thought out plan. in brackets, keigo adds in what he believes should be changed, due to the lack of the meta army now.
however, the plan is only a few sentences in when dabi snaps at him again. immediately, keigo lowers the phone and shakes his head, light glare in his eyes.]
I-I told..him...never be alone....that they..would be...after him the most.
[twice never asked him how he knew, just nodded along with a salute, before idly saying he'd stick with dabi or toga, before making an off comment of it being a date or something close to that.]
He knows..to run away! He's...Twice is..my friend! I wouldn't...have him hurt!
[he coughs, breathing harder. the phone comes to lower in his lap, about a fourth through the plan he created.]
You don't...have to trust me. But I..I am telling you it all. I'm not..lying right here!
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Date: 2021-05-23 03:26 pm (UTC)but how can he, knowing keigo will likely have to go back to the commission? what will they make him do then?
he wants to scream and yell at keigo. he wants to call him a dirty liar. he remembers feeling betrayed last night, just as he does now. ]
If anythin' happens to him... if they fuckin' find us, you're dead.
[that's all he has the energy to say. it's all he knows keigo has the energy for either. this is a mess, and it hurts. it hurts more than dabi thought he was even capable of feeling anymore. he closes his eyes, letting his head fall back against the wall. what are they supposed to do after this? ]
I remember now. I remember everythin' ya told me last night.
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Date: 2021-05-23 04:33 pm (UTC)but, he can't put himself through the terrible life that is meant for him. if he's not to be with dabi, then death is all he can wish and plead for.
he almost begs for it, for death, at dabi's threat. he wants to tell the villain to go back and protect twice, just in case. he can't stop the other traitor from revealing more. what if they tracked down the others?
but, dabi is hurt and no where near fully recovered. he needed to take it easy. and while keigo didn't have access to much power to protect the both of them from an army, he can at least protect enough until the villain recovers a bit.
so, he nods his head to the threat, giving his throat a break. it hurts so much. but he tries to not think about it.
his fingers start to return typing, to finish up the plan. every now and then, he does cough. hopefully, within a few days, he'll be back to normal. hopefully the same with dabi too. keigo was relentlessly worried about his lover.
the nimble fingers stop and keigo looks back up to fix his gaze on the villain as he comes to admit remembering everything. there's nothing for the hero to hide, so he tilts his head, searching into those blue eyes. he is glad that dabi remembers it all. he just...wishes he never forgot in the first place.]
Do you...want..to talk about it?
[he asks in a soft, raspy voice.]
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Date: 2021-05-23 05:04 pm (UTC)except dabi doesn't believe that either. that's what hurts the most.
he knows now that he set those fires, but didn't burn down keigo's place. that must've been what that explosion was, and now they're going to blame it on him. they're blaming the number two hero's disappearance on him too, but he can handle that much. whatever else they're planning, they'll.... figure it out. they have to. this is the end.
dabi wants to get back out there and finish this, but he has enough sense to know that he can't. not like this. he might not even recover this time, he pushed himself to such a limit, the icing on the cake being those men who were trying to assault keigo. god, he was so fucking angry at that too. he'd go back there and kill them a thousand times if he could, for ever doing that to his...
he opens his eyes to look at keigo, just staring at him for a long moment before he shakes his head, pushing himself up to stand again. ]
No.
[his insides feel like they're burning, but he's used to this sensation. it's worse than it's ever been though, but there's nothing he can do about it. he's pretty sure that aside from wanting to turn him into a nomu, there was nothing ujiko could do about his body failing him either. he wobbles a little as he heads back over to keigo, snatching up the burn cream and bandages he got from the doctor, and goes to sit behind keigo's back.]
Ya got some pretty bad burns back here. Gonna fix ya up best I can, alright? Don't freak out.
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Date: 2021-05-23 07:38 pm (UTC)they'll be hunted, for sure. he doubts his handlers were going to just let him run away. they're behind a lot of bad things, and they'll do whatever they want. it's risky and dangerous for the both of them. would dabi want to deal with such trouble? keigo feels like a runaway kitten, bird more accurately, running from their abuser.
dabi's eyes are on him for awhile, and eventually the hero can't help but settle his gaze to his own lap. momentarily, anyway. because then he hears dabi finally answer, and keigo looks back up, nodding again.
he...didn't really want to talk about it either. he was tired of talking at the moment. he was tired of feeling so many different emotions, honestly. but he's being honest finally. and, that should come with some merit of it's own.
dabi gets up suddenly and keigo finds himself tensing up just the briefest of seconds. he comes closer and takes the first aid supplies, before he feels the villain settle behind him. the hero tilts his head, eyes never leaving dabi.]
O-Okay.
[he whispers out, doesn't think he'll freak out. dabi is oddly soft with his wings. he just hopes they're not in any sort of bad shape. he really wants them to heal up. he misses them far more than he expects. really, he shouldn't be so careless with them, but last night did require him to use what he had in order to properly locate and save the villain.
besides, a little fire shouldn't have done much damage to them, right?]
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Date: 2021-05-23 07:59 pm (UTC)now that keigo knows who he is, dabi wonders if he can figure the rest out on his own. it shouldn't be that much of a mystery what his goal is anymore, especially after the bits and pieces dabi has mentioned about his father.
he wonders what keigo will do when the time comes. dabi won't let him stand in the way.
dabi definitely feels like he needs some space, but this is more important. he had gone back to the MLA to get keigo some help, but they never got that far, and now he has to figure it out on his own. luckily, dabi is used to dealing with burns of every single kind, and he hopes he can tend to these burns just as easily.]
Can ya get your shirt off?
[he'll help, but he doesn't want to just start taking keigo's clothes off. he's not sure where they stand on any of that anymore- hard to believe, when dabi had initially gone over to make something more of this. to open himself up. it hurts, but dabi won't let himself get worked up. he can't afford to right now, and he's too exhausted to anyway.]
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Date: 2021-05-23 11:37 pm (UTC)right then, his mind is still running at high speed, still processing everything that's happened. he worries that someone will hunt them down immediately, or that dabi will order him to run off. he's just so...unsure. so lost. tired, too.
they both probably need some space. however, they really can't be provided the luxury of it. not right now. if dabi wasn't taking care of his back, keigo would curl up and just sleep.
his head tilts up as the villain comes to request he remove his shirt. briefly, he wonders why dabi doesn't do it. he's done it before. but, he tells himself, maybe he doesn't want to aggravate keigo's injuries? that, or touching might just be too much.
keigo swallows and puts his thoughts to rest, taking the bottom of his shirt and slowly pulling it up. he does struggle, breathing out before resuming, slower this time. more and more, his back is exposed, showing the complete burn marks that go from his mid-back to his neck. his hair is fried at the bottom, leaving him with the undercut. the burns even circle around his neck, no doubt to leave a nasty scar. but, his back...
it's dark colored. the flesh isn't anywhere near like dabi's, but the skin is bright from the burns, the base of his wings fried. yet, they're still in tact, the soft dewy feathers black and shaking. keigo can't pull them, far too sensitive to do so. it wasn't like they would hold or do much either. they're incredibly soft, but also burnt. the air bothers them, and keigo has to resist moving away or covering them back up.
he finally comes to tug his shirt off and holds it firmly to his chest, body leaning over from pain. the hero tries hard to steady himself though. he didn't consider them to hurt just for being exposed. it hurts far more than his neck or throat.
but, then again, his wings was just as much of a weakness as they were his strength.]
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Date: 2021-05-23 11:47 pm (UTC)he doesn't want to make it worse though, so he lets go, his gaze settling on the other man's burnt up back. he hopes the burn cream is already helping keigo's neck, and now he just has to carefully put it on his back. he suddenly doesn't even know where to start, though, especially after seeing the state of his wings.
he can tell keigo is in a lot of pain, and he shouldn't feel bad... but he does. he really fucking does, especially when he realizes that it's his fires that did this. hawks lied to him, he got angry, and he wanted to burn the whole world down.
he didn't ask the stupid bird to run into the fire, though.
he lets out a frustrated sound that sounds more distressed than anything, and he realizes his hands are shaking. they're shaking so hard he has to clench his hands into fists and put them in his lap for a moment, watching as keigo curls into himself in pain. ]
I've got painkillers. Take some.
[he says eventually, when he can trust his voice again, and he digs into his little pack, pulling out a bottle and holds it out next to keigo's arm. he wonders if keigo is feeling the kind of pain he feels from his burns and scars every day. he really hopes not, but it looks bad.]
Take three. It might knock ya out, but ya need it. This is gonna... it's gonna hurt real bad until the ointment kicks in.
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Date: 2021-05-24 12:07 am (UTC)he knows it's bad. he's just not sure how bad. he doesn't think it can be as bad as dabi's scars, or anywhere near them. he had been able to ignore them up to this point, even if adrenaline and his throat probably kept him from realizing it.
but now it's all he can focus on.
he can't say he regrets it though. he had to save dabi. at the time, he had assumed the villain to be fighting with a hero. he had wanted to protect dabi. he knows, in an instance, he would do it again. again and again. he would do anything for this villain.
no part of him blames dabi at all either. he's an adult. he made his own choice. he ran into the fire himself, knowing the consequences.
the noise that comes from his villain does worry keigo and he tenses up. he looks at nothing in particular in front of him, eyes wide in concern. he's so nervous over what dabi could be seeing or reacting to. no. it can't be that bad...
it just couldn't.
but, then dabi speaks and keigo sees the bottle next to his arm. swallowing, he nods his head, slowly taking the offered bottle and opens it carefully. three pills. he isn't worried about being knocked out. he trusted dabi. the villain wouldn't hand over his unconscious form to his handlers.
three pills are pulled to his mouth and he swallows them with spit alone. he twists the cap back on and sets the bottle beside him before returning his hand to his shirt, digging his fingernails into the material.]
Do what...you need to.
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Date: 2021-05-24 12:33 am (UTC)he knows deep down that if he were really angry, if keigo had betrayed him completely, those wings would be the first thing he'd take.
it makes him feel sick as he looks at keigo's back, waiting for him to take the pills. he knows they won't take too long to hit, but he stalls a bit to wait, pulling the rest of the first aid kit over to himself to see what's inside. he needs a little time as well, to get his hands to stop shaking. he can do this. he's done it to himself a thousand times before. ]
Good thing I'm an expert at burns, huh.
[he's not really joking, but maybe some sort of normal conversation would help. they've been so angry with each other, fighting so hard. everything has been painful... but he's still here. they're still here with each other.
he shifts how he's sitting, sliding a little closer and moving his legs around keigo.]
Squeeze my leg if ya need me to pause. I don't want ya passin' out on me.
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Date: 2021-05-24 12:57 am (UTC)for keigo, it takes a lot to allow dabi to touch them as he pleases. the hero trusts dabi with them.
if he were to ever lose them...he may never forgive the person responsible. even if that person is himself.
but the little nubs, he can still feel them. they hurt so much though. he hopes they can pull on through. he's strong. his wings are strong. and, he has an expert who knows how to handle burns. he should be fine.
dabi even says as such, and it earns a small smile from the hero. he takes it as a joke, more so to keep himself calm. the little nubs of his wings are still trembling, and keigo is sure it's more than just the pain. there's a fear of heat, one that always sticks with him. he's able to always ignore it and push on through. he's a hero, he has to manage to do that much. heroes don't stall. he's not even scared of dabi either. no. he completely trusts the villain.
his fear comes from heat alone.
so, he tries to ignore his fear like always, tries to focus more on the villain that scoots on closer to him. it does help to have dabi so comfortably close. nodding for an answer, keigo tells himself to not scratch dabi up too badly if he does need to let the villain know to pause.
maybe he just needs a distraction in the meantime.]
Can you...talk..and..keep me from thinking and feeling it?
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Date: 2021-05-24 01:26 am (UTC)without them, maybe keigo would be free.
he has more tact than to say that out loud though, at least for now. he's still angry, but he's trying so hard not to be. he just wants to get through this so they can figure out the next step.
it's a big favor to ask of dabi, to ask him to keep talking. he doesn't know what to talk about, especially now. he's never been a big talker at all, and keigo should know that by now, and that's on a good day. but now? he hesitates, looking through the bag for something to clean around the burns, noticing his hands are shaking less now. maybe because he's more nervous about something else. ]
Yeah.
[he says finally, then gets to work, hoping the painkillers are starting to kick in.]
Uh.... what do ya want me to talk about?
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Date: 2021-05-25 01:47 pm (UTC)it's like there's only one strong piece left holding him down now, and then he can take off, and be free with dabi. he's so desperate for it, so desperate for the freedom that was dabi. he just doesn't want to lose his wings in the process.
of all the things he could have asked for, talking has to be the biggest, and keigo is well aware of that. especially with all the anger here, the unsure feelings that the villain must be feeling. he can't exactly be upset if dabi refuses him this.
it's a lot.
but, his villain agrees, and it lessens the tension in the hero's shoulder.]
Do you...what would you..do...once heroes are..gone?
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Date: 2021-05-25 04:33 pm (UTC)he focuses his attention on the wounds now, cleaning around them slowly but surely while he tries to think of what he could possibly talk about. it's a lot to ask for, but yeah, he'll do it. he'll do it because he doesn't want keigo to be in this much pain.
the thing keigo tells him to talk about, though? it has him pausing for a moment before he slowly resumes tending to the burns. ]
Never really thought about it past what I wanted to do. Figured I'd prolly be dead after the last big one. Once I do what I gotta do... once I achieve my goal... never gave a shit about what would come after that.
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Date: 2021-05-25 10:52 pm (UTC)quietly, he chants dabi's name in his head, trying to blink away the tears that begin to form.
but, his villain begins to talk, and it makes him happy that dabi is doing this much for him. but, as he comes to hear those words, it also pains him. would dabi still intend on doing what he needs to, even if it meant his death? would he leave keigo?
the hero knows he doesn't have any right in regards to being a part of the villain's life, yet, he hoped to be there.
there isn't much for him to live for if it means losing dabi in the end.
it takes him a moment to try and respond verbally, between the sore throat and pain of dabi touching his back. he's nervous he'll make a pained sound, and he doesn't want to worry the villain.]
What..happened...to..you....when you..were....Touya?
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Date: 2021-05-26 12:09 am (UTC)maybe all those questions keigo has are ones he should ask out loud, seeing as he wants dabi to talk, because it's definitely not information he would volunteer all on his own, especially now.
he wonders if keigo even understands what his final goal is now, knowing who he is.
but keigo switches topics, and this is one that dabi really doesn't want to get into. it's one thing to talk about the revenge he's going to take on the man that ruined everyone's lives- but it's another to go digging into all that pain and anger at a time like this. dabi wants to let the world know what that monster has done, but everything that had happened to him as touya... it's a lot. ]
Not sure you're ready to hear that.
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Date: 2021-05-26 03:03 am (UTC)keigo really didn't want him or dabi to have to make a deal with the doctor if it came to his burns worsening.
the questions are still within his thoughts. he naturally wants to ask, but the idea of upsetting dabi is constantly going through his mind. he's so tired of their fighting. and, he knows it'll get worst before it gets better. if it gets better.
they're no where near as before, maybe ever again to reach that same point. they just needed to get through the hurdle and uneasiness between them. then, maybe, their fighting and arguing won't be as bad.
he can't avoid the questions forever though. he needed to know in due time. with dabi having a desire, one that may leave him dead, keigo needed to know. he had to...
the pain continues to strike him, and keigo has to use his shirt to bite down on. his breathing is starting to get labored, and quietly, he's begging for those painkillers to hurry and knock him out. at least he can still focus on dabi and what he responds with.]
He...He hurt..you, didn't he?
[no. he did more than that. keigo has seen the signs. he sees himself in dabi at times. he understands.]
Please..tell me?
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Date: 2021-05-26 12:19 pm (UTC)hell, dabi doesn't even know if he can trust keigo anymore, but for now at least, he has to.
he doesn't have any fight left in him anymore, whether he wants to or not. his entire body aches with how hard he's used his quirk, and he knows if he keeps going like this, he won't make it long enough to reach his goal.
his goal of bringing endeavor down. of ruining him in every last way possible. he wants to break him and then kill him for everything he's done, not just to him, but his family. ]
That's a fuckin' understatement.
[dabi says quietly, darkly. he starts trying to work around the most burnt part of keigo's feathers, trying to figure out what will get in the way of healing, and which parts of those feathers can stay.]
Started before I was even born. He wanted to breed someone who would be strong enough to take over the number one spot. He bought my mother, pretty much raped her. He's good at that, ya know. It's amazin' what ya pro-heroes can get away with.
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Date: 2021-05-26 02:49 pm (UTC)dabi wouldn't be here, like this, for just nothing. keigo knows dabi. he knows the villain to have a soft side to him, beneath the anger and resentment.
not to mention, the signs that have been given to him.
taking in quiet breaths, steadying himself to listen, keigo peers over his shoulder. it does strain his back in a painful way, but he needs to see the villain's face. the more dabi speaks, the more it pulls at his heart. his gaze doesn't last long when the villain brings up how heroes can get away with plenty. he's well aware of that.
and he knows who was in charge of keeping things covered and kept a deep secret.
a feeling of sickness begins to steady in the pit of his stomach to learn this about the man he thought to have rescued him. the entire time he was admiring endeavor, was he...?]
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Date: 2021-05-26 03:22 pm (UTC)[it's always made his blood boil, but he noticed that once the two of them started up with... Whatever this thing between them was... Hawks spent less time with the other heroes.]
If your hero commission threatened me with Endeavor and wanted ya to tell him everythin', didn't ya think somethin' was up with him?
[Dabi has a lot of thoughts about that. A lot of angry feelings about this whole thing with Keigo and the information he told him. It makes him angry to think Keigo knew how bad they could be.
But he also knows he's only given Keigo bits and pieces of himself. Just vague comments about his abusive father and what he had to go through. Does Keigo believe it now that he know that man is Endeavor?]
He didn't even look at me until I nearly burned my arm off discoverin' my Quirk. I was... fuck, I was so god-damned excited that he finally looked at me the way I had hoped he would. I was finally useful to him.
And then he started trainin' me. It was endless. At first I thought it was the best thing in the world, ya know? But when your skin is meltin' off and your face is shoved into your own blood and vomit time and time again... I mean, ya know. Ya kinda start wonderin' what the fuck's wrong with ya.
[he stops, nearing the most sensitive parts of Keigo's wings, brushing away the feathers that are too burned.]
I always hated the doctors that would come by to "fix me up" when I was too damaged, or when he kicked into me too hard. But even then I still...
[he swallows hard, his hands dropping down into his lap.]
Still wanted to be a hero. Still wanted to make him proud. He didn't give a shit anymore cause the boy he bred was useless to him. He'd tell me every fuckin' day how useless I was. Until... my mom was useless too I guess, and then he found a better use for me.
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