creamation | (no subject)

[ Dabi doesn't mind that Shigaraki closes his eyes for a while, because it gives him time to regroup as well, especially with the alcohol settling heavily into his system.

He keeps his strokes the same, watching and waiting as Shigaraki figures them out for his own, making himself feel good. Just watching is turning him on- the way the two of them are close like this, without any of the discomfort either of them might feel.

When Shigaraki's eyes open to look at him, Dabi bites at his lip and lets out a moan, sliding his legs up so his thighs press against the other man's back. ]

I'm close.

[He warns, because they're in this together, and he wants them to come together. ]

[He starts to breathe harder, jerking faster now. Shigaraki's close too and he wants to come with Dabi- to make a mess of Dabi's lap together. Surprisingly he's a lot quieter like this. Not because it doesn't feel good but the alcohol seems to really impact how he's reacting and behaving here.

He's no longer trying to keep up with Dabi and instead is trying his best to come now. He rocks his hips a little into Dabi's lap, mouth moving in a silent incomprehensible sentence. Only the stuttered sounds of his breath and the sudden stillness of his body signal how close he is.]

Dabi.

[He falters forward as he comes hard, catching himself on the couch just barely as he aims his load at Dabi's cock. Who can say if this was intentional or not, it's hard to tell with Shigaraki sometime but he's moaning loud for Dabi.]

Dabi. I- [His mind feels white hot, and his cock is throbbing painfully from release.

Shigaraki leans forward, licking at Dabi's scarred lip for another kiss. He does it without thinking, moving their bodies closer together so that his own cock was touching Dabi's.]

[ Dabi doesn't know if he likes how much quieter Shigaraki is like this, but in this moment he doesn't really mind just listening to the sound of their breathing and the small grunts that escape him when he strokes himself harder.

Dabi finds himself rocking his hips up against Shigaraki's as well- not too hard, not to fast, but just enough to feel that pressure. He's so close. So damn close. All he needs is that one push, and when Shigaraki says his name, spilling into him, Dabi loses all composure as well.

Shigaraki is so loud it'll be a fucking wonder if none of the rest of their league figure out what's going on here, but Dabi has never given a single shit about that, and it only makes this whole thing more enjoyable as he moans, listening to Shigaraki go on and on as he comes.

Dabi's insides are tingling, his mind is hazy and all he wants to do is lean up into that kiss, his body tensing and relaxing as Shigaraki pretty much lays on top of him. The feel of the other man's cock against his sends a jolt through him and he reaches up to grab at Shigaraki's hair, pulling him into a deeper kiss. ]

[He can feel the pulse of Dabi's cock against his own. Like two beating hearts trying to synchronize. Just the contact alone is electrifying, especially with how hot both cocks are and how slick they were from spilled come. It's an entirely different experience for Shigaraki that makes him moan loudly into the kiss, and lean heavily into Dabi's body.

He's not doing it on purpose, the closeness that is. His alcohol addled mind doesn't even consider that Dabi could shove him off as his only focus now is to chase after that primal instinct. He wants more even after the fact that they'd both finished and his body was tingling with pleasure.

Shigaraki let's Dabi pull his hair, squirming on top his lap to kiss deeper. His breathing is all over the place; hard, erratic, quick, short and long. His eyes close again as he presses harder into the kiss with another loud moan. Someone walking by Dabi's room is definitely hearing something going on inside.]

[ Shigaraki is suddenly closer, and Dabi's own hips are rocking up to press their cocks closer together, his body clearly wanting more than he usually lets himself go for. He's blissed out from his orgasm, but he's starting to feel uncomfortable even despite that. Still, he doesn't stop or push Shigaraki away. He really doesn't want to.

He lets out a whimpering moan into their kiss, his free hand gripping Shigaraki's hip so tightly as if he might push or pull, but all he does is hold on.

Dabi can feel his toes curl against the couch, every breath getting lost against Shigaraki's mouth until he starts feeling dizzy with it all. He has to break away from the kiss, dropping his head back to gulp in some air, his hands heating up as a burning, fiery sensation moves through his body.

He doesn't want to tell Shigaraki to stop, but he feels like he might burst into flames, so he grabs the other man's shoulder and tries to push him back a little, gasping. ]

Stop. Tomura, stop.

[Saying his name, Tomura and not Shigaraki, gets him to snap out of this haze. He's still not able to think clearly but somehow he's stopped and he's pulling back from Dabi. It also helps that Dabi's pushing him a little as it guides his movement backwards and gives him the space to breathe and think with his brain. (Not his dick.)

Shigaraki tries to sit backwards, nearly falling off of Dabi in the process. He's not trying to move too far away just enough so that he can breathe again. Wants space so that he's not so exposed.

Shigaraki doesn't say anything, just breathes hard and stares at Dabi.]

[ Dabi would have shoved Shigaraki off completely if he hadn't moved right when he did. Even so, he's pulling back, squirming away from the other man so he can sit up. He doesn't have time to tuck himself away or clean the mess up from between his legs before he's wrapping his arms around himself, squeezing his eyes shut as he groans, feeling his flames want to rise to the surface.

He gasps, digging his fingers into his scarred flesh, trying to control it with pain, with something so he doesn't end up lighting this whole place up with his flames. He practically tumbles off the couch as he tries to move away from Shigaraki and sits curled up in the middle of the floor, bringing his legs up to his chest, gripping his hair hard.

Dabi remembers how many times this used to happen, and how much it used to hurt, but none of that mattered because he was a goddamn Todoroki and nothing else was more important than that. He's pretty sure he can already smell his skin burning, and it's so sickening, every inch of him hurts so much. ]

[Even with the haze, Shigaraki knows something's wrong. Whatever's going on- it isn't good. He recognizes the signs of what Dabi's doing. He's done it before too. Many times. That's why there's that scratching with him, it helps to keep him grounded and focused in the now rather than the past.]

Dabi.

[He says clearly. Trying to keep him grounded and remind him of who he is. Where he is.

Shigaraki makes no movement to reach out to the other- he's drunk but not stupid. Plus he can feel the radiant heat coming off from Dabi. This could be bad if he doesn't try to help the other manage this now.]

You're alright, Dabi. You're with me. Tomura, remember? [A pause.] And you're Dabi.

[ He's concentrating so hard on not bursting into flames that everything in the present feels far too distant, and there's just so much of the past sneaking in that he wants to shove away, but it feels overwhelming. He wasn't good enough back then, he could barely stop the flames.

Dabi, he hears, over the beating pulse in his ears. It's who he is, who he wants to be. He just needs to stop these flames and then he can get back to his own life.

What he needs is pain. Something stronger than the burning of his skin, and when he looks up at the second name that's uttered, he sees Shigaraki there. He wants to reach out to him, but he doesn't dare move. ]

Help me.

[It comes out more pathetic than he ever thought he could sound- like a fucking child, waiting to get rescued.]

[He's about to ask how? when it strikes him. He knows what he has to do. He reaches out for the other, offering his hand. That'd helped him a long time ago, it's the only way he knows how to help. Even then? He's unsure of how to help Dabi. Uncertain that this would even benefit the other]

Dabi, it's ok. You can't hurt me.

[Well. Dabi totally could but what's a few more scars from burns to Shigaraki? He does stick his pinky away from the rest of his fingers though. Just in case Dabi does incinerate his gloves.]

[ What he's always needed was more pain to snap him out of this, but this... it's different. No one's ever offered him a hand before. Not like this, not when it feels like every fucking thing is trying to drag him under.

When he reaches out for Shigaraki, it feels like he has to push through a barrier of flames. His hand is burning hot as he grabs the other man's hand, curling his fingers tight around. He knows that he isn't back there in a time and place where no one would have ever reached out to him, but his body is still trying to catch up to it all. ]

[Dabi's hand is hot to touch but he doesn't pull away. He tightly grips the other's hand, pinky still out, and pulls him closer. There's a small pang of guilt in the back of his mind over this. But now's not the time.]

Come here. [And then gently;] What do you need?

[Because he's unsure if closeness is going to set the other off again. Unsure of how to help Dabi more because Shigaraki Tomura has never once helped someone in his life. He's only ever been helped. ]

[Dabi grips Shigaraki's hand so tight that it probably hurts, but the heat might be even more painful. He doesn't think he's ever held on so tightly to anything in his life.

But it helps, because its a different sensation and it's breaking through the usual shit that goes on in his head.

He moves closer as instructed, but then he stops because he realizes exactly where he is and that he's running far too hot, ready to burn up completely and he needs to stop before getting any closer to Shigaraki.]

I need... I need... Give me your other hand.

[He offers Dabi his other hand in the same gesture with his pinkie finger out. Between the searing heat and the death grip Dabi's got on his hand, it hurts. A lot. But Shigaraki doesn't show it- doesn't let Dabi see that he's hurting him.]

Do you need water?

[Cold water should calm him down right? If he's a raging fireball, water would put him out- so of course the next step would be cold water to help.]

No. I'll break the glass.

[Dabi shakes his head, trying to concentrate on pulling all the heat back. At this point he does realize he might be hurting Shigaraki but he just needs a little more focus, shifting his attention away from the way his body feels like it's burning up, and more toward the way those hands feel curled around his, even if they're gloved, even if he can now tell that Shigaraki's pinkies aren't touching him, just in case. In case he burns the gloves off, so he doesn't disintegrate him.

That's what he focuses on, until the smell of burning flesh completely disintegrates instead, and he can feel the heat in his body slowly dying down.

He immediately pulls his hands from Shigaraki's, gripping his knees instead and drops his head down between them, trying to steady his breathing again.]

Christ.

[His hands feel hot, and with Dabi not looking at him he finally manages to grimace at the pain. He wrings his hands, trying to ebb away the heat and burn on his exposed fingers. Once it's nothing but a dull ache, he turns his attention back to Dabi.]

Hey. Are you going to be alright? [Cause it's clear that Dabi isn't alright so he's not going to ask the obvious.]

[ Everything starts shifting back to that dull and hazy feeling, which is still a lot more clear than it was a few moments ago.

He can't believe he lost it like that. Here, in front of Shigaraki. As if the experience wasn't bad enough already. This hasn't happened to him in a long time. The last time it did, the place he was in caught fire and he had to run. This time, he managed to pull it all back... with Shigaraki's help.

It's almost unbelievable. ]

Yeah.

[He runs his hands up and down his legs, lifting his head. There's concern on Shigaraki's face. It looks stranger than a smile.]

I'm fine.

[The experience was a sobering one for Shigaraki. One that has him scratching at his neck. Not in a way that's meant to harm himself but, it's a thoughtful kind of movement. He did just have a near death experience from Dabi after all so who could blame him for a little bit of scratching.]

Huh. Maybe we should have drunk proofed your room? [Ha ha ha. Bad joke.] You need something?

[ It's a very bad joke, but it has Dabi coming back to himself a little bit more. The more he does, though, the more raw and exposed he feels. And not just because his pants are still sliding down.

He gets up, yanking them up with him and closes his belt buckle, then wipes his arm across his forehead. ]

Yeah, I need you to leave.

You sure about that?

[Dabi's emotionally unstable, should he really be leaving the other here? But. Well. Shigaraki would respect what the other wants. With a scornful look he zips up his pants, they're come stained but... what can you do? He stands up, grabbing the whiskey bottle off of the floor.

Looking at Dabi for confirmation that he should leave before leaving. He doesn't bitch about it too much because Shigaraki understands but he fully intends to finish the rest of the bottle and scratch his body raw. This was his fault, he knows it even if he doesn't want to acknowledge it.]

[ He knows it's an asshole thing to do, kicking Shigaraki out after the other man helped him the way he did, but he feels like he just exposed such a hidden part of himself, that he's not sure if he can let this roll off his shoulders like he does with most things. ]

Yeah, I'm fucking sure.

[He moves over to his mattress and sits against the wall, as far away from the door as possible, as Shigaraki leaves.

That was horrible, and Dabi hates that anyone else has seen pieces of him that he didn't want to be seen. It's his fault, he knows it, for pushing himself, for not pushing Shigaraki away in time, for putting himself in this position in the first place. He knows it isn't Shigaraki he should be angry at, but the person who made him like this.

Still, he goes out of his way to avoid Shigaraki for two days, which is hard because he's the boss, but he manages to bypass somehow and go to Kurogiri instead. He knows he can only get away with this for so long, though and he'll inevitably have to face his demons, as cliche as that sounds.]

[The next two days drive Shigaraki insane with Dabi avoiding him the way he was. At first he understood and accepted that Dabi needed his space. But then he became irritated at the constant avoidance, with Kurogiri being the go-between. All of Shigaraki's frustrations of course were taken out on himself- the scratching increased in severity until his neck was literally scratched red and raw. Only then did he move on to scratching at his wrists.

He looked like a mess and no one knew why, or had the balls to ask. Everyone chalked it up to Shigaraki having a bad week, as he was prone to have every now and then. Eventually he gives up on trying to run into Dabi, accepts that he's on his own for a while, or for good.

He's angry.

But that anger becomes tiring. By the third day he's tired. Between how awful he looks, and acts, it shows. And after a long day of meeting potential recruits, Kurogiri warps him back to his room directly. Telling him to get some rest and think about why he's in such a sour mood lately. That whatever it is bothering him, he needs to clear out of his mind or make things right.

So he tries to do just that. He ends up falling asleep on his mattress instead.]

[ He hears that Shigaraki is having a bad week and he tries not to think about it at all, or feel bad about it, because why should he? He doesn't owe anyone anything, and he certainly isn't going to feel guilty about it.

But he does.

And he's starting to feel miserable, avoiding the others now as well, because they all keep looking at him like he's becoming a handful, and he's going to burn them all alive if one more person asks him if he's seen Shigaraki. It's like they know. But they can't know, right? There's no fucking way.

It's when Kurogiri corners him that Dabi realizes he can't play this avoidance game anymore. He not only gets chastised for his behavior, but he gets a new job as well. Shigaraki's in bad shape, and he's supposed to somehow snap him out of it, because he's the only one who ever really stands up to the other man and it's his turn to make things right.

Dabi narrows his eyes throughout the whole speech, but in the end he's standing in front of Shigaraki's door. Now that he's here, he actually feels... relief?

He kicks the door twice with the toe of his boots in lieu of a knock, then waits. ]

[The knocking wakes up Shigaraki from his unintended nap. Confused and grumpy, he looks at the door with a scowl before pulling the blankets over his head. He recognizes that style of knocking and decides it's in his best interest to pretend he's not there. The boots could only belong to Dabi of all the people. Funny how Dabi only came to him when it was convenience for him.

He closes his eyes again underneath the mattress letting at a small sigh as he tried to go back to his nap.]

[ Dabi crosses his arms and waits. He's not surprised when there's no answer. It's absolutely Shigaraki's way to go about this shit. Can he really blame the man? No. The past few days have been harrowing and if Shigaraki is doing as badly as everyone says he is, then... it's his fault. He knows it. Did he really think he could avoid this asshole forever?

He doesn't kick at the door again. Instead he just goes inside and kicks his boots off at the door. He nearly trips over several things in the dark, but he's light on his toes, making his way over to the mattress. He can see the Shigaraki shaped lump, even in the dark. ]

Hey, creep. I know you're awake.