[there it is. that familiar anger. he's done this enough times with dabi, and he's going down this road again. he knows he earns it though, the burning passion of heat that would burn him if he's not careful.
keigo isn't sure he can take another round of heat and fire again.
he hates that he can't talk, that he's forced to rely on the phone to speak for him. he's already typing as dabi shouts at him, flinching when he thinks the villain might actually use his fire against him, but he only gets up instead.]
I didn't tell you because you could have been working with my handlers. I've spent a majority of my life terrified of them, that if they even knew I was trying to kill them off, I would be killed myself, or worst. They don't work on the side that's good or bad, just on the side that comes off as morally right and whoever lines their pockets with money.
[he breathes out, looking down at the ground. he hates this. he hates being so raw and open. he hates that they're in this position again. why did dabi have to forget? it would have been easier to be sure the villain got home before keigo tried to hide away in shadows and dark alleys.
the phones drops from his hand as dabi collapses to his knees. worriedly, he crawls forward, afraid to touch dabi, but needing to look over the villain.
before he can reach to touch him though, the angry demand is there, and keigo backs off. he takes back the phone, typing hurriedly, making several typed errors that he tries to fix.]
You've always fixated on Endeavor before, and last night, when he was brought up, you only got angrier. I just assumed.
[ keigo should have thought about that before he started playing with fire this way. dabi doesn't think half of it is the truth, but maybe keigo is so deep in it that even he can't tell anymore. dabi can't believe how fucked up this is.
he can't believe that even after all of this, he thinks maybe maybe keigo is telling the truth. there's so much evidence against him and so many holes, but dabi is still questioning it.
the worst part is when keigo throws out the ridiculous excuse that he could have been working with his handlers. ]
That's bullshit Keigo. Do ya even fuckin' hear yourself? Now you're tryin'a blame your lies on me? On whether I was working with them or not? That's a new fuckin' low, even for you.
[ he remembers this anger now. this feeling of deep, intense pain and betrayal. he remembers standing in keigo's penthouse, dread filling him the more that the other man explained jumbled truths with lies. dabi presses the heel of his palm into his eye, feeling like he's going to be sick.
if keigo touches him, he might burst into flames, because he's trying everything in his power to reel it in right now. he's so upset. ]
When he was brought up? Why the fuck did ya bring him up, Keigo?
[dabi lifts his head up to look at keigo, his sight still blurry and dizzy. but there are things he remembers now, coming back in small pieces. he remembers going back for keigo despite it all. but what happened then? more lies... an explosion. more lies. Endeavor. keigo having no good reason as to why he didn't tell dabi, but somehow coming up with an excuse for it now.]
Ya let me lead us back to the base even though ya knew there were traitors there, and that they had us under surveillance. Ya let me do it because I couldn't remember. I can't fuckin' believe this. Ya wanted me to get caught. Were ya gonna hand me over to Endeavor too?
[he can feel tendrils of smoke coming out from the stitched up parts of his body, and the smell of burning flesh that he knows is coming from him. he tries to push himself up again because he needs to get further away. he needs to get out of here, but he doesn't make it that far. it's only at the furthest wall that he stops, sliding down it and curling into a ball, head down against his knees as he tries to reel it all back in.
this is the end. he can feel it. it's the end of everything. maybe he should just let himself go out in a flaming fire like he should have so many years ago. that should have been his end.]
[he just needs dabi to listen, to give him the chance to speak and tell him everything. but it was practically impossible last night in words alone, and now with just the phone, it's more than difficult.
he's not saying what he did was brilliant or even right, but keigo had to be careful. he always had to look out for himself. he never had anyone else to look out for before dabi came along.
he's getting so lost as the villain starts though, anger apparently leading him to talk over keigo. the hero can only manage to listen, wishing his voice would just work as he tries to mouth what he wants to say. going back into that spiral is ripping him apart, but he knows he's not the only one feeling it. he knows dabi must be breaking apart. he knows how the villain operates.
it's becoming too much, and keigo can't help but shout.]
I-!..I-..I'm not-! [his breath is so coarse, throat on fire but keigo ignores it, works with the pain so he can speak.] I'm n-not saying..not blaming-!...I had to learn to trust you..I had to know for sure..I don't-I'm not blaming any of it on you! I was just..I never trusted anyone before you. That's why, at the beginning, I didn't say it!
[his handlers worked with villains. he knows this because he's been given to a few. at the beginning of it all, he had to be absolutely positive they weren't testing his loyalty. that's what he's trying to explain here. he never once would place any kind of blame on dabi for his own insecurities.
his throat burns hot, but keigo keeps going, scared that if he stops, it'll hurt more.]
I-..I brought Endeavor up because they..my handlers, they were threatening you! They were..going to kill or cap..ture...you.
[briefly, he coughs and quickly comes to apply pressure to his throat, digging sharp nails into his own burnt skin. blood is in his mouth, but keigo ignores it, keeps talking.]
Told me I had to..to tell Endeavor about the meta army...or they would go after you.
[he inhales some air, and it hurts more than any sort of relief.]
So..I told him. I told him the size of the army..and a date to attack.
[another series of coughs and keigo spits blood onto the ground to get the taste out of his mouth. he breathes heavily again, head bowed, staring at the splatter of blood.]
I never...wanted you, or the others, to get caught. But you..you needed a doctor. That's why I pushed..for you to go back to get help. I wouldn't want..Endeavor anywhere near you.
[ dabi has always felt the edges of misery and worthlessness creeping up on him on all sides, threatening to pull him under and end his life for good. but never has he felt it more than he does now.
it's because he had something better. he had something with keigo.
he wants to curl up and die, and he knows he could. if he just lights one more flame across his skin it could be the end for him. there's a part of him that doesn't care anymore. if keigo knows, endeavor knows, and they'll come at them with full force, taking him down before he accomplishes any of his goals. what's the point?
he's so tired. he doesn't know what to trust anymore.
when keigo speaks, his fingers curl into his hair even tighter. he wants to get up and stop him, because he knows it can't be good for him, but also because he doesn't want to hear this. he doesn't believe keigo and he wants to scream in his face and make him stop, but he can't.
dabi wonders for a moment, what this would have been like in another life. if he would have whispered his name under the sheets with every kiss along keigo's skin, or spent a night like this drinking lazily under the moonlight under the stars with his...
but that's not how it is, and this is their life instead. what a stupid thing to think about at a time like this. he doesn't even know where it comes from.
no. that's a lie. he knows exactly where it comes from. it comes from keigo. ]
Stop! Stop!
[he slides his hands over his ears, smoke curling over his head.]
[he should have run back to his handlers, begged them to leave dabi and the others out of this. he would pay their worth, sell himself it meant keeping them all safe. but keigo knows it would have been a foolish attempt.
shigaraki was worth more than what keigo could pay alone. hell, he might not be able to top whatever price dabi is going for on his warrant. as the son of endeavor, that man could use all the money in the world to get dabi back if he so wanted.
keigo wasn't worth any of them. he wouldn't be able to save any if he had tried to go back.
...he would have possibly lost dabi too, if he hadn't found him in the sewer.
golden eyes shoot up as the villain shouts at him. he immediately clamps his mouth shut, but the action is short-lived because he begins to cough hard and rough, clawing his throat as the pain begins to burn sharp.
breathing heavier, keigo shakes his head. he feels exhausted. he hurts. he just...he feels defeated.]
Y-..You...have to..stop too....Your quirk..Dabi.
[he gasps out, voice quieter, practically a gasp now. the phone is long forgotten, even if he holds it tight in his other hand.]
[ he knows he has to stop his own quirk as well, but a part of him doesn't care anymore. everything he worked to build up all these years, everything he gave of himself to get here, it feels like it's all being snatched away in an instant.
he should have stayed alone. he shouldn't have done any of this.
he shouldn't have fallen for a fucking pro-hero.
but he did, and now he doesn't know up from down, left from right. he doesn't know what to trust and what not to. worst of all, he feels like he suddenly doesn't know the man in front of him anymore, when he spent all this time thinking he was getting to know him. ]
Who are you?
[he asks finally, lifting his head to look at keigo. what was real about what they ever did?]
[the thing is, it's been real for keigo. his feelings, they were real. why else would he force himself through this again, through that fire last night, through such heartbreaking pain? it's not perfected or done correctly, but keigo was never sure how to go about this.
he's always had his goal in mind, to be rid of his handlers once and for all.
somewhere along the way, he fell for the villain, and it became even more complicated.
his eyes are filled with lost and worry as he hears the question. he's never changed his name. he was honest about that all this time, since the moment he told dabi.]
What..do you...
[dabi knew his name. why ask it? breathing in, he tries to steady the pain there and speak firmer.]
[ maybe that's what dabi keeps trying to tell himself too. that this had to have been real after all they put themselves through. after everything that has happened. even a spy couldn't fake this much, could they? would the heroes really go this far to fuck them up?
maybe. maybe. that's the problem. dabi keeps thinking maybe, because he knows what his father did, and how he's still a pro-hero too. he knows the lengths that abusive bastard went to, to try and get what he wanted.
but this is keigo.
his name isn't what dabi wants. a name doesn't make a person who they are. he wants to know who keigo is as a person. the little things that make him who he is. the things he can hold on to. ]
That ain't what I want.
[he says quietly, slowly dropping his head back down against his knees. he doesn't need anything more than this. he just needs to calm himself down enough to stop, too.]
[keigo is a pro-hero only in name. he does try his best to help the public and citizens, to protect the innocent like he was trained. but honestly, even he knows he climbed the ranks easier than most, that it wasn't just the public enjoying the young hero or how many people he's saved.
the hero commission did what they wanted, used power and money to get him there. he should have been grateful. after all, he wanted to be a hero like endeavor. he wanted to protect people. he desperately wanted to create a world where heroes had too much time on their hands.
he was far from understanding or knowing exactly the details that go on with other pro-heroes. only by dabi's smallest admittance in their short history together is keigo able to know that the villain despised his father. that's enough for him to desire keeping endeavor away from him. hell, he would willing provide the number one on a platter if it meant gaining dabi's trust and staying with him.
but that isn't at the front of his mind at the moment. he's confused instead, unsure what dabi wants from him. the villain desires to know who he is. he's plenty of things. what if he says it wrong? what if it's not the right answer?]
I-I'm...the son of..a criminal. A...a murderer. A thief. He..was a shit father..who abused...my mom and me. G-Got...arrested..and then just..mom and me. But...she sold me to the hero commission, after I..saved some people. I became their...puppet...Wanted to be a hero..but I became..their toy to pass around.
[he stops to cough, breathing heavier. it burns now from throat to chest. he has to wonder if his lungs would be damaged by the end of this.]
I'm..still me....I still..I...Everything I ever did..that was me. Wanting..to be with you..is me. I didn't..lie about my feelings. And I..got lost..along the way...of telling you everything. I know..I should have told you...everything. I know..I...I can't...take it back. C-Can only..move forward...and.....do..whatever you want me..to do...Just..tell me w-what you want..even...if you want to...burn me...D-Don't want to..go back...to them.
[ dabi knows that keigo has given him bits and pieces of the truth. big things perhaps, but not enough for dabi to know if any of it was really the truth or not. or maybe it's just the fact that keigo is a pro-hero that it's always been hard to believe him, but still.
all of this though... it feels like more than that. it feels like keigo finally telling him something solid and real. not just pieces of a name. something dabi can hold on to that isn't mixed up in ten other lies.
he listens, hands falling to his knees from his hair, and he can slowly feel the heat in his body shifting from catastrophic, to something more manageable.
and yet it's still hard to hear and hard to take in, because the truth is always ugly, and it's that ugliness that he thought led keigo to them in the first place. everything the commission had done to keigo is what drove him here. he wasn't sure if he could completely believe that before, but maybe.
god, he's weak to this bird. no matter how many lies there are, he wants to fucking believe him. ]
I don't wanna burn you. I don't want ya to go back to 'em either.
[for the first time, keigo is admitting things he never had before. his handlers knew everything, he never had to say or confirm anything before this. his mother did plenty of that when she sold him.
a part of him is worried that dabi would reject him, see him as pathetic or worthless, something to throw away. it’s why he’d rather have death than return back to the monsters who bought and used him.
he just...he can’t go back to that life. if that was the cost of being a hero, keigo can’t do it. not anymore. he had a taste of freedom and it’s all he desires.
that freedom was right there, with dabi.
keigo holds back a gasp as he tries to steady the growing pain in his throat. his breathing is becoming labored, hurting even there. his lungs were on fire. but all he can focus on is dabi, feeling more relieved that he can see and feel the fire lessening.
he swallows, and after giving it a few seconds, goes to speak more.]
How..c-can I..prove to you? Please...tell me..what you need...from me. I won’t..l-lie to you..any...m-more.
[ dabi doesn't expect keigo to go back to that life. he doesn't want him to, and maybe that should have been evident all along. all dabi has ever wanted was the truth.
he finally looks up, feeling the last of his anger simmer away and he's left with pure exhaustion.
does he believe everything keigo is saying? maybe not. does he think keigo sold out their location and told the heroes when to attack? yeah. keigo pretty much said so. but...maybe he wasn't meant to be included in that. he wants to hope for that, because he's got nothing left after this. ]
When ya said ya told Endeavor about the army and when to attack, what were ya gonna do about the League? Were ya gonna let 'em go down too? What about me?
[it feels like it’s been forever since he’s seen dabi without anger. it’s not good for his villain to allow his quirk out of control like that. what if dabi burns himself to ash?
keigo can’t make it without dabi. this man is the freedom he seeks.
he...
dabi’s words have the hero shaking his head. he swallows before answering.]
I...gave you a..flash drive last..night. I have..a plan on there...that you can use..like who to attack..and when.
[he has spent a lot of free time trying to come up with such a plan. the details of his work were long, but with the fallout of the meta army, they would need another plan.]
They’re...interested in Twice..wanted him captured.
[he looks away, trying to steady his breathing and voice.]
If there’s..someone you...need to kill..I can....get them to you.
[he doesn’t want to say endeavor’s name, but that’s exactly who he’s referring to.]
[ dabi is angry for a lot of reasons on the regular, but this time he knows for certain it's valid. keigo keeps coming with these things that have him wondering just what the fuck is going on and what the hell was he thinking.
it's hard not to be angry when keigo keeps giving him reasons to be.
he furrows his eyebrows and digs through his pockets, looking for this flash drive keigo gave him, and he finds it tucked away. he has no way to check it right now, but at least he has it and he can check it when he gets a chance. ]
What's the plan? Type it out on the phone.
[he doesn't want Keigo to keep talking like this, and he's angry that keigo didn't immediately just go with him to see the doctor, but what really has his eyes going wide is the other man's comment about Twice.]
They what? And ya didn't tell me or him this before? He's probably still fuckin' there!
[and that's it right there. the reason dabi keeps getting angry. keigo keeps telling him these things- these bad positions he knew he'd be putting them in and just not telling him about it. this is why dabi doesn't trust him, or feels like the hero is sticking them in a trap.]
How can I trust you to get 'em to me when ya can't even gimme the basics of what's goin' on right now. Did ya want Twice to get captured? Is that part'a your plan??
[if only keigo could have dabi just look through his own mind and memories, to see why he ticks, why he did what he did, and what is missing exactly. maybe dabi would understand. but, then again, maybe he wouldn't. they're both two different people, and his villain has his own personal agenda.
in the end though, keigo just wants to stay within dabi's shadow and not leave. he's so tired and in so much different sort of pain.
as dabi comes to pull out the flash drive, the hero slumps his shoulders. he knows they're lacking a device to use with it. without his penthouse too, keigo can't show the plan in detail.
but, his villain requests of him to type it out, and he nods his head, starting to do just that. it's a long, thought out plan. in brackets, keigo adds in what he believes should be changed, due to the lack of the meta army now.
however, the plan is only a few sentences in when dabi snaps at him again. immediately, keigo lowers the phone and shakes his head, light glare in his eyes.]
I-I told..him...never be alone....that they..would be...after him the most.
[twice never asked him how he knew, just nodded along with a salute, before idly saying he'd stick with dabi or toga, before making an off comment of it being a date or something close to that.]
He knows..to run away! He's...Twice is..my friend! I wouldn't...have him hurt!
[he coughs, breathing harder. the phone comes to lower in his lap, about a fourth through the plan he created.]
You don't...have to trust me. But I..I am telling you it all. I'm not..lying right here!
[ so much of this requires dabi's trust in hawks, and dabi doesn't know if he can do it. he doesn't know if keigo even deserves an ounce of it. but hawks knows who he is now. he has to decide whether he can at least try, or if he can't, he should leave the bird behind.
but how can he, knowing keigo will likely have to go back to the commission? what will they make him do then?
he wants to scream and yell at keigo. he wants to call him a dirty liar. he remembers feeling betrayed last night, just as he does now. ]
If anythin' happens to him... if they fuckin' find us, you're dead.
[that's all he has the energy to say. it's all he knows keigo has the energy for either. this is a mess, and it hurts. it hurts more than dabi thought he was even capable of feeling anymore. he closes his eyes, letting his head fall back against the wall. what are they supposed to do after this? ]
I remember now. I remember everythin' ya told me last night.
[even if dabi chooses to leave him behind, keigo hopes he's granted his death wish. he doesn't, no, he can't go back to that life. not that he'll ever repeat or say dabi's true identity. the secret would remain with him.
but, he can't put himself through the terrible life that is meant for him. if he's not to be with dabi, then death is all he can wish and plead for.
he almost begs for it, for death, at dabi's threat. he wants to tell the villain to go back and protect twice, just in case. he can't stop the other traitor from revealing more. what if they tracked down the others?
but, dabi is hurt and no where near fully recovered. he needed to take it easy. and while keigo didn't have access to much power to protect the both of them from an army, he can at least protect enough until the villain recovers a bit.
so, he nods his head to the threat, giving his throat a break. it hurts so much. but he tries to not think about it.
his fingers start to return typing, to finish up the plan. every now and then, he does cough. hopefully, within a few days, he'll be back to normal. hopefully the same with dabi too. keigo was relentlessly worried about his lover.
the nimble fingers stop and keigo looks back up to fix his gaze on the villain as he comes to admit remembering everything. there's nothing for the hero to hide, so he tilts his head, searching into those blue eyes. he is glad that dabi remembers it all. he just...wishes he never forgot in the first place.]
[ it's why dabi went back for him. it's why no matter what, he still extended that hand, not wanting to leave him there, even though keigo probably deserved to rot.
except dabi doesn't believe that either. that's what hurts the most.
he knows now that he set those fires, but didn't burn down keigo's place. that must've been what that explosion was, and now they're going to blame it on him. they're blaming the number two hero's disappearance on him too, but he can handle that much. whatever else they're planning, they'll.... figure it out. they have to. this is the end.
dabi wants to get back out there and finish this, but he has enough sense to know that he can't. not like this. he might not even recover this time, he pushed himself to such a limit, the icing on the cake being those men who were trying to assault keigo. god, he was so fucking angry at that too. he'd go back there and kill them a thousand times if he could, for ever doing that to his...
he opens his eyes to look at keigo, just staring at him for a long moment before he shakes his head, pushing himself up to stand again. ]
No.
[his insides feel like they're burning, but he's used to this sensation. it's worse than it's ever been though, but there's nothing he can do about it. he's pretty sure that aside from wanting to turn him into a nomu, there was nothing ujiko could do about his body failing him either. he wobbles a little as he heads back over to keigo, snatching up the burn cream and bandages he got from the doctor, and goes to sit behind keigo's back.]
Ya got some pretty bad burns back here. Gonna fix ya up best I can, alright? Don't freak out.
[what they do from here, keigo intends only to follow behind dabi. if the villain wants to get to the bottom of what was going on, he would assist. but, he wonders if dabi even wants that. there's something that obviously drives the villain, and if the other male wants to continue in those same footsteps, keigo would go along with it. anything, just to remain with dabi.
they'll be hunted, for sure. he doubts his handlers were going to just let him run away. they're behind a lot of bad things, and they'll do whatever they want. it's risky and dangerous for the both of them. would dabi want to deal with such trouble? keigo feels like a runaway kitten, bird more accurately, running from their abuser.
dabi's eyes are on him for awhile, and eventually the hero can't help but settle his gaze to his own lap. momentarily, anyway. because then he hears dabi finally answer, and keigo looks back up, nodding again.
he...didn't really want to talk about it either. he was tired of talking at the moment. he was tired of feeling so many different emotions, honestly. but he's being honest finally. and, that should come with some merit of it's own.
dabi gets up suddenly and keigo finds himself tensing up just the briefest of seconds. he comes closer and takes the first aid supplies, before he feels the villain settle behind him. the hero tilts his head, eyes never leaving dabi.]
O-Okay.
[he whispers out, doesn't think he'll freak out. dabi is oddly soft with his wings. he just hopes they're not in any sort of bad shape. he really wants them to heal up. he misses them far more than he expects. really, he shouldn't be so careless with them, but last night did require him to use what he had in order to properly locate and save the villain.
besides, a little fire shouldn't have done much damage to them, right?]
[ dabi won't ever let go of his goal, no matter what else is put in front of him. he's done too much to get here. he's gone through hell and he won't let it be for nothing.
now that keigo knows who he is, dabi wonders if he can figure the rest out on his own. it shouldn't be that much of a mystery what his goal is anymore, especially after the bits and pieces dabi has mentioned about his father.
he wonders what keigo will do when the time comes. dabi won't let him stand in the way.
dabi definitely feels like he needs some space, but this is more important. he had gone back to the MLA to get keigo some help, but they never got that far, and now he has to figure it out on his own. luckily, dabi is used to dealing with burns of every single kind, and he hopes he can tend to these burns just as easily.]
Can ya get your shirt off?
[he'll help, but he doesn't want to just start taking keigo's clothes off. he's not sure where they stand on any of that anymore- hard to believe, when dabi had initially gone over to make something more of this. to open himself up. it hurts, but dabi won't let himself get worked up. he can't afford to right now, and he's too exhausted to anyway.]
[it'll take intentionally piecing all the pieces together to figure out dabi's complete story, but it's not exactly at the forefront of his mind. he's far more focused on the here and now going on. maybe if he has time to relax and just think.
right then, his mind is still running at high speed, still processing everything that's happened. he worries that someone will hunt them down immediately, or that dabi will order him to run off. he's just so...unsure. so lost. tired, too.
they both probably need some space. however, they really can't be provided the luxury of it. not right now. if dabi wasn't taking care of his back, keigo would curl up and just sleep.
his head tilts up as the villain comes to request he remove his shirt. briefly, he wonders why dabi doesn't do it. he's done it before. but, he tells himself, maybe he doesn't want to aggravate keigo's injuries? that, or touching might just be too much.
keigo swallows and puts his thoughts to rest, taking the bottom of his shirt and slowly pulling it up. he does struggle, breathing out before resuming, slower this time. more and more, his back is exposed, showing the complete burn marks that go from his mid-back to his neck. his hair is fried at the bottom, leaving him with the undercut. the burns even circle around his neck, no doubt to leave a nasty scar. but, his back...
it's dark colored. the flesh isn't anywhere near like dabi's, but the skin is bright from the burns, the base of his wings fried. yet, they're still in tact, the soft dewy feathers black and shaking. keigo can't pull them, far too sensitive to do so. it wasn't like they would hold or do much either. they're incredibly soft, but also burnt. the air bothers them, and keigo has to resist moving away or covering them back up.
he finally comes to tug his shirt off and holds it firmly to his chest, body leaning over from pain. the hero tries hard to steady himself though. he didn't consider them to hurt just for being exposed. it hurts far more than his neck or throat.
but, then again, his wings was just as much of a weakness as they were his strength.]
[ dabi can already see how bad it looks, and he swallows hard, closing his eyes for a moment. but then keigo is struggling with his shirt and only then does he reach out and help, tugging at it lightly where it gets caught.
he doesn't want to make it worse though, so he lets go, his gaze settling on the other man's burnt up back. he hopes the burn cream is already helping keigo's neck, and now he just has to carefully put it on his back. he suddenly doesn't even know where to start, though, especially after seeing the state of his wings.
he can tell keigo is in a lot of pain, and he shouldn't feel bad... but he does. he really fucking does, especially when he realizes that it's his fires that did this. hawks lied to him, he got angry, and he wanted to burn the whole world down.
he didn't ask the stupid bird to run into the fire, though.
he lets out a frustrated sound that sounds more distressed than anything, and he realizes his hands are shaking. they're shaking so hard he has to clench his hands into fists and put them in his lap for a moment, watching as keigo curls into himself in pain. ]
I've got painkillers. Take some.
[he says eventually, when he can trust his voice again, and he digs into his little pack, pulling out a bottle and holds it out next to keigo's arm. he wonders if keigo is feeling the kind of pain he feels from his burns and scars every day. he really hopes not, but it looks bad.]
Take three. It might knock ya out, but ya need it. This is gonna... it's gonna hurt real bad until the ointment kicks in.
[dabi coming to help does make it a little better. keigo appreciates it, but he doesn't trust his own voice to admit it. everything, it just...it hurts. a lot.
he knows it's bad. he's just not sure how bad. he doesn't think it can be as bad as dabi's scars, or anywhere near them. he had been able to ignore them up to this point, even if adrenaline and his throat probably kept him from realizing it.
but now it's all he can focus on.
he can't say he regrets it though. he had to save dabi. at the time, he had assumed the villain to be fighting with a hero. he had wanted to protect dabi. he knows, in an instance, he would do it again. again and again. he would do anything for this villain.
no part of him blames dabi at all either. he's an adult. he made his own choice. he ran into the fire himself, knowing the consequences.
the noise that comes from his villain does worry keigo and he tenses up. he looks at nothing in particular in front of him, eyes wide in concern. he's so nervous over what dabi could be seeing or reacting to. no. it can't be that bad...
it just couldn't.
but, then dabi speaks and keigo sees the bottle next to his arm. swallowing, he nods his head, slowly taking the offered bottle and opens it carefully. three pills. he isn't worried about being knocked out. he trusted dabi. the villain wouldn't hand over his unconscious form to his handlers.
three pills are pulled to his mouth and he swallows them with spit alone. he twists the cap back on and sets the bottle beside him before returning his hand to his shirt, digging his fingernails into the material.]
[ dabi doesn't mean to make a sound, but he can't help it. keigo's wings... they're important. he knows how important they are to keigo. they're his everything. but they mean something to dabi too.
he knows deep down that if he were really angry, if keigo had betrayed him completely, those wings would be the first thing he'd take.
it makes him feel sick as he looks at keigo's back, waiting for him to take the pills. he knows they won't take too long to hit, but he stalls a bit to wait, pulling the rest of the first aid kit over to himself to see what's inside. he needs a little time as well, to get his hands to stop shaking. he can do this. he's done it to himself a thousand times before. ]
Good thing I'm an expert at burns, huh.
[he's not really joking, but maybe some sort of normal conversation would help. they've been so angry with each other, fighting so hard. everything has been painful... but he's still here. they're still here with each other.
he shifts how he's sitting, sliding a little closer and moving his legs around keigo.]
Squeeze my leg if ya need me to pause. I don't want ya passin' out on me.
[keigo's wings certainly are important. they're his everything. he gets that taste of freedom with them. they provide protection, strength, and beauty. they mean the absolute world to him. and he knows dabi likes them. he also knows the villain is aware how important they are.
for keigo, it takes a lot to allow dabi to touch them as he pleases. the hero trusts dabi with them.
if he were to ever lose them...he may never forgive the person responsible. even if that person is himself.
but the little nubs, he can still feel them. they hurt so much though. he hopes they can pull on through. he's strong. his wings are strong. and, he has an expert who knows how to handle burns. he should be fine.
dabi even says as such, and it earns a small smile from the hero. he takes it as a joke, more so to keep himself calm. the little nubs of his wings are still trembling, and keigo is sure it's more than just the pain. there's a fear of heat, one that always sticks with him. he's able to always ignore it and push on through. he's a hero, he has to manage to do that much. heroes don't stall. he's not even scared of dabi either. no. he completely trusts the villain.
his fear comes from heat alone.
so, he tries to ignore his fear like always, tries to focus more on the villain that scoots on closer to him. it does help to have dabi so comfortably close. nodding for an answer, keigo tells himself to not scratch dabi up too badly if he does need to let the villain know to pause.
maybe he just needs a distraction in the meantime.]
Can you...talk..and..keep me from thinking and feeling it?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
zvi and
no subject
Date: 2021-05-12 11:36 pm (UTC)keigo isn't sure he can take another round of heat and fire again.
he hates that he can't talk, that he's forced to rely on the phone to speak for him. he's already typing as dabi shouts at him, flinching when he thinks the villain might actually use his fire against him, but he only gets up instead.]
I didn't tell you because you could have been working with my handlers. I've spent a majority of my life terrified of them, that if they even knew I was trying to kill them off, I would be killed myself, or worst. They don't work on the side that's good or bad, just on the side that comes off as morally right and whoever lines their pockets with money.
[he breathes out, looking down at the ground. he hates this. he hates being so raw and open. he hates that they're in this position again. why did dabi have to forget? it would have been easier to be sure the villain got home before keigo tried to hide away in shadows and dark alleys.
the phones drops from his hand as dabi collapses to his knees. worriedly, he crawls forward, afraid to touch dabi, but needing to look over the villain.
before he can reach to touch him though, the angry demand is there, and keigo backs off. he takes back the phone, typing hurriedly, making several typed errors that he tries to fix.]
You've always fixated on Endeavor before, and last night, when he was brought up, you only got angrier. I just assumed.
no subject
Date: 2021-05-13 12:02 am (UTC)he can't believe that even after all of this, he thinks maybe maybe keigo is telling the truth. there's so much evidence against him and so many holes, but dabi is still questioning it.
the worst part is when keigo throws out the ridiculous excuse that he could have been working with his handlers. ]
That's bullshit Keigo. Do ya even fuckin' hear yourself? Now you're tryin'a blame your lies on me? On whether I was working with them or not? That's a new fuckin' low, even for you.
[ he remembers this anger now. this feeling of deep, intense pain and betrayal. he remembers standing in keigo's penthouse, dread filling him the more that the other man explained jumbled truths with lies. dabi presses the heel of his palm into his eye, feeling like he's going to be sick.
if keigo touches him, he might burst into flames, because he's trying everything in his power to reel it in right now. he's so upset. ]
When he was brought up? Why the fuck did ya bring him up, Keigo?
[dabi lifts his head up to look at keigo, his sight still blurry and dizzy. but there are things he remembers now, coming back in small pieces. he remembers going back for keigo despite it all. but what happened then? more lies... an explosion. more lies. Endeavor. keigo having no good reason as to why he didn't tell dabi, but somehow coming up with an excuse for it now.]
Ya let me lead us back to the base even though ya knew there were traitors there, and that they had us under surveillance. Ya let me do it because I couldn't remember. I can't fuckin' believe this. Ya wanted me to get caught. Were ya gonna hand me over to Endeavor too?
[he can feel tendrils of smoke coming out from the stitched up parts of his body, and the smell of burning flesh that he knows is coming from him. he tries to push himself up again because he needs to get further away. he needs to get out of here, but he doesn't make it that far. it's only at the furthest wall that he stops, sliding down it and curling into a ball, head down against his knees as he tries to reel it all back in.
this is the end. he can feel it. it's the end of everything. maybe he should just let himself go out in a flaming fire like he should have so many years ago. that should have been his end.]
no subject
Date: 2021-05-13 01:13 am (UTC)he's not saying what he did was brilliant or even right, but keigo had to be careful. he always had to look out for himself. he never had anyone else to look out for before dabi came along.
he's getting so lost as the villain starts though, anger apparently leading him to talk over keigo. the hero can only manage to listen, wishing his voice would just work as he tries to mouth what he wants to say. going back into that spiral is ripping him apart, but he knows he's not the only one feeling it. he knows dabi must be breaking apart. he knows how the villain operates.
it's becoming too much, and keigo can't help but shout.]
I-!..I-..I'm not-! [his breath is so coarse, throat on fire but keigo ignores it, works with the pain so he can speak.] I'm n-not saying..not blaming-!...I had to learn to trust you..I had to know for sure..I don't-I'm not blaming any of it on you! I was just..I never trusted anyone before you. That's why, at the beginning, I didn't say it!
[his handlers worked with villains. he knows this because he's been given to a few. at the beginning of it all, he had to be absolutely positive they weren't testing his loyalty. that's what he's trying to explain here. he never once would place any kind of blame on dabi for his own insecurities.
his throat burns hot, but keigo keeps going, scared that if he stops, it'll hurt more.]
I-..I brought Endeavor up because they..my handlers, they were threatening you! They were..going to kill or cap..ture...you.
[briefly, he coughs and quickly comes to apply pressure to his throat, digging sharp nails into his own burnt skin. blood is in his mouth, but keigo ignores it, keeps talking.]
Told me I had to..to tell Endeavor about the meta army...or they would go after you.
[he inhales some air, and it hurts more than any sort of relief.]
So..I told him. I told him the size of the army..and a date to attack.
[another series of coughs and keigo spits blood onto the ground to get the taste out of his mouth. he breathes heavily again, head bowed, staring at the splatter of blood.]
I never...wanted you, or the others, to get caught. But you..you needed a doctor. That's why I pushed..for you to go back to get help. I wouldn't want..Endeavor anywhere near you.
no subject
Date: 2021-05-13 01:44 am (UTC)it's because he had something better. he had something with keigo.
he wants to curl up and die, and he knows he could. if he just lights one more flame across his skin it could be the end for him. there's a part of him that doesn't care anymore. if keigo knows, endeavor knows, and they'll come at them with full force, taking him down before he accomplishes any of his goals. what's the point?
he's so tired. he doesn't know what to trust anymore.
when keigo speaks, his fingers curl into his hair even tighter. he wants to get up and stop him, because he knows it can't be good for him, but also because he doesn't want to hear this. he doesn't believe keigo and he wants to scream in his face and make him stop, but he can't.
dabi wonders for a moment, what this would have been like in another life. if he would have whispered his name under the sheets with every kiss along keigo's skin, or spent a night like this drinking lazily under the moonlight under the stars with his...
but that's not how it is, and this is their life instead. what a stupid thing to think about at a time like this. he doesn't even know where it comes from.
no. that's a lie. he knows exactly where it comes from. it comes from keigo. ]
Stop! Stop!
[he slides his hands over his ears, smoke curling over his head.]
no subject
Date: 2021-05-13 01:58 am (UTC)shigaraki was worth more than what keigo could pay alone. hell, he might not be able to top whatever price dabi is going for on his warrant. as the son of endeavor, that man could use all the money in the world to get dabi back if he so wanted.
keigo wasn't worth any of them. he wouldn't be able to save any if he had tried to go back.
...he would have possibly lost dabi too, if he hadn't found him in the sewer.
golden eyes shoot up as the villain shouts at him. he immediately clamps his mouth shut, but the action is short-lived because he begins to cough hard and rough, clawing his throat as the pain begins to burn sharp.
breathing heavier, keigo shakes his head. he feels exhausted. he hurts. he just...he feels defeated.]
Y-..You...have to..stop too....Your quirk..Dabi.
[he gasps out, voice quieter, practically a gasp now. the phone is long forgotten, even if he holds it tight in his other hand.]
no subject
Date: 2021-05-13 02:21 am (UTC)he should have stayed alone. he shouldn't have done any of this.
he shouldn't have fallen for a fucking pro-hero.
but he did, and now he doesn't know up from down, left from right. he doesn't know what to trust and what not to. worst of all, he feels like he suddenly doesn't know the man in front of him anymore, when he spent all this time thinking he was getting to know him. ]
Who are you?
[he asks finally, lifting his head to look at keigo. what was real about what they ever did?]
Who the fuck even are you?
no subject
Date: 2021-05-13 02:33 am (UTC)he's always had his goal in mind, to be rid of his handlers once and for all.
somewhere along the way, he fell for the villain, and it became even more complicated.
his eyes are filled with lost and worry as he hears the question. he's never changed his name. he was honest about that all this time, since the moment he told dabi.]
What..do you...
[dabi knew his name. why ask it? breathing in, he tries to steady the pain there and speak firmer.]
K-..Keigo Takami...is my..full name.
no subject
Date: 2021-05-13 03:27 am (UTC)maybe. maybe. that's the problem. dabi keeps thinking maybe, because he knows what his father did, and how he's still a pro-hero too. he knows the lengths that abusive bastard went to, to try and get what he wanted.
but this is keigo.
his name isn't what dabi wants. a name doesn't make a person who they are. he wants to know who keigo is as a person. the little things that make him who he is. the things he can hold on to. ]
That ain't what I want.
[he says quietly, slowly dropping his head back down against his knees. he doesn't need anything more than this. he just needs to calm himself down enough to stop, too.]
no subject
Date: 2021-05-13 03:55 am (UTC)the hero commission did what they wanted, used power and money to get him there. he should have been grateful. after all, he wanted to be a hero like endeavor. he wanted to protect people. he desperately wanted to create a world where heroes had too much time on their hands.
he was far from understanding or knowing exactly the details that go on with other pro-heroes. only by dabi's smallest admittance in their short history together is keigo able to know that the villain despised his father. that's enough for him to desire keeping endeavor away from him. hell, he would willing provide the number one on a platter if it meant gaining dabi's trust and staying with him.
but that isn't at the front of his mind at the moment. he's confused instead, unsure what dabi wants from him. the villain desires to know who he is. he's plenty of things. what if he says it wrong? what if it's not the right answer?]
I-I'm...the son of..a criminal. A...a murderer. A thief. He..was a shit father..who abused...my mom and me. G-Got...arrested..and then just..mom and me. But...she sold me to the hero commission, after I..saved some people. I became their...puppet...Wanted to be a hero..but I became..their toy to pass around.
[he stops to cough, breathing heavier. it burns now from throat to chest. he has to wonder if his lungs would be damaged by the end of this.]
I'm..still me....I still..I...Everything I ever did..that was me. Wanting..to be with you..is me. I didn't..lie about my feelings. And I..got lost..along the way...of telling you everything. I know..I should have told you...everything. I know..I...I can't...take it back. C-Can only..move forward...and.....do..whatever you want me..to do...Just..tell me w-what you want..even...if you want to...burn me...D-Don't want to..go back...to them.
[he's trying. he's trying.]
no subject
Date: 2021-05-13 12:16 pm (UTC)all of this though... it feels like more than that. it feels like keigo finally telling him something solid and real. not just pieces of a name. something dabi can hold on to that isn't mixed up in ten other lies.
he listens, hands falling to his knees from his hair, and he can slowly feel the heat in his body shifting from catastrophic, to something more manageable.
and yet it's still hard to hear and hard to take in, because the truth is always ugly, and it's that ugliness that he thought led keigo to them in the first place. everything the commission had done to keigo is what drove him here. he wasn't sure if he could completely believe that before, but maybe.
god, he's weak to this bird. no matter how many lies there are, he wants to fucking believe him. ]
I don't wanna burn you. I don't want ya to go back to 'em either.
no subject
Date: 2021-05-13 03:41 pm (UTC)a part of him is worried that dabi would reject him, see him as pathetic or worthless, something to throw away. it’s why he’d rather have death than return back to the monsters who bought and used him.
he just...he can’t go back to that life. if that was the cost of being a hero, keigo can’t do it. not anymore. he had a taste of freedom and it’s all he desires.
that freedom was right there, with dabi.
keigo holds back a gasp as he tries to steady the growing pain in his throat. his breathing is becoming labored, hurting even there. his lungs were on fire. but all he can focus on is dabi, feeling more relieved that he can see and feel the fire lessening.
he swallows, and after giving it a few seconds, goes to speak more.]
How..c-can I..prove to you? Please...tell me..what you need...from me. I won’t..l-lie to you..any...m-more.
no subject
Date: 2021-05-13 11:30 pm (UTC)he finally looks up, feeling the last of his anger simmer away and he's left with pure exhaustion.
does he believe everything keigo is saying? maybe not. does he think keigo sold out their location and told the heroes when to attack? yeah. keigo pretty much said so. but...maybe he wasn't meant to be included in that. he wants to hope for that, because he's got nothing left after this. ]
When ya said ya told Endeavor about the army and when to attack, what were ya gonna do about the League? Were ya gonna let 'em go down too? What about me?
no subject
Date: 2021-05-14 12:40 am (UTC)keigo can’t make it without dabi. this man is the freedom he seeks.
he...
dabi’s words have the hero shaking his head. he swallows before answering.]
I...gave you a..flash drive last..night. I have..a plan on there...that you can use..like who to attack..and when.
[he has spent a lot of free time trying to come up with such a plan. the details of his work were long, but with the fallout of the meta army, they would need another plan.]
They’re...interested in Twice..wanted him captured.
[he looks away, trying to steady his breathing and voice.]
If there’s..someone you...need to kill..I can....get them to you.
[he doesn’t want to say endeavor’s name, but that’s exactly who he’s referring to.]
no subject
Date: 2021-05-14 12:58 am (UTC)it's hard not to be angry when keigo keeps giving him reasons to be.
he furrows his eyebrows and digs through his pockets, looking for this flash drive keigo gave him, and he finds it tucked away. he has no way to check it right now, but at least he has it and he can check it when he gets a chance. ]
What's the plan? Type it out on the phone.
[he doesn't want Keigo to keep talking like this, and he's angry that keigo didn't immediately just go with him to see the doctor, but what really has his eyes going wide is the other man's comment about Twice.]
They what? And ya didn't tell me or him this before? He's probably still fuckin' there!
[and that's it right there. the reason dabi keeps getting angry. keigo keeps telling him these things- these bad positions he knew he'd be putting them in and just not telling him about it. this is why dabi doesn't trust him, or feels like the hero is sticking them in a trap.]
How can I trust you to get 'em to me when ya can't even gimme the basics of what's goin' on right now. Did ya want Twice to get captured? Is that part'a your plan??
no subject
Date: 2021-05-21 03:35 pm (UTC)in the end though, keigo just wants to stay within dabi's shadow and not leave. he's so tired and in so much different sort of pain.
as dabi comes to pull out the flash drive, the hero slumps his shoulders. he knows they're lacking a device to use with it. without his penthouse too, keigo can't show the plan in detail.
but, his villain requests of him to type it out, and he nods his head, starting to do just that. it's a long, thought out plan. in brackets, keigo adds in what he believes should be changed, due to the lack of the meta army now.
however, the plan is only a few sentences in when dabi snaps at him again. immediately, keigo lowers the phone and shakes his head, light glare in his eyes.]
I-I told..him...never be alone....that they..would be...after him the most.
[twice never asked him how he knew, just nodded along with a salute, before idly saying he'd stick with dabi or toga, before making an off comment of it being a date or something close to that.]
He knows..to run away! He's...Twice is..my friend! I wouldn't...have him hurt!
[he coughs, breathing harder. the phone comes to lower in his lap, about a fourth through the plan he created.]
You don't...have to trust me. But I..I am telling you it all. I'm not..lying right here!
no subject
Date: 2021-05-23 03:26 pm (UTC)but how can he, knowing keigo will likely have to go back to the commission? what will they make him do then?
he wants to scream and yell at keigo. he wants to call him a dirty liar. he remembers feeling betrayed last night, just as he does now. ]
If anythin' happens to him... if they fuckin' find us, you're dead.
[that's all he has the energy to say. it's all he knows keigo has the energy for either. this is a mess, and it hurts. it hurts more than dabi thought he was even capable of feeling anymore. he closes his eyes, letting his head fall back against the wall. what are they supposed to do after this? ]
I remember now. I remember everythin' ya told me last night.
no subject
Date: 2021-05-23 04:33 pm (UTC)but, he can't put himself through the terrible life that is meant for him. if he's not to be with dabi, then death is all he can wish and plead for.
he almost begs for it, for death, at dabi's threat. he wants to tell the villain to go back and protect twice, just in case. he can't stop the other traitor from revealing more. what if they tracked down the others?
but, dabi is hurt and no where near fully recovered. he needed to take it easy. and while keigo didn't have access to much power to protect the both of them from an army, he can at least protect enough until the villain recovers a bit.
so, he nods his head to the threat, giving his throat a break. it hurts so much. but he tries to not think about it.
his fingers start to return typing, to finish up the plan. every now and then, he does cough. hopefully, within a few days, he'll be back to normal. hopefully the same with dabi too. keigo was relentlessly worried about his lover.
the nimble fingers stop and keigo looks back up to fix his gaze on the villain as he comes to admit remembering everything. there's nothing for the hero to hide, so he tilts his head, searching into those blue eyes. he is glad that dabi remembers it all. he just...wishes he never forgot in the first place.]
Do you...want..to talk about it?
[he asks in a soft, raspy voice.]
no subject
Date: 2021-05-23 05:04 pm (UTC)except dabi doesn't believe that either. that's what hurts the most.
he knows now that he set those fires, but didn't burn down keigo's place. that must've been what that explosion was, and now they're going to blame it on him. they're blaming the number two hero's disappearance on him too, but he can handle that much. whatever else they're planning, they'll.... figure it out. they have to. this is the end.
dabi wants to get back out there and finish this, but he has enough sense to know that he can't. not like this. he might not even recover this time, he pushed himself to such a limit, the icing on the cake being those men who were trying to assault keigo. god, he was so fucking angry at that too. he'd go back there and kill them a thousand times if he could, for ever doing that to his...
he opens his eyes to look at keigo, just staring at him for a long moment before he shakes his head, pushing himself up to stand again. ]
No.
[his insides feel like they're burning, but he's used to this sensation. it's worse than it's ever been though, but there's nothing he can do about it. he's pretty sure that aside from wanting to turn him into a nomu, there was nothing ujiko could do about his body failing him either. he wobbles a little as he heads back over to keigo, snatching up the burn cream and bandages he got from the doctor, and goes to sit behind keigo's back.]
Ya got some pretty bad burns back here. Gonna fix ya up best I can, alright? Don't freak out.
no subject
Date: 2021-05-23 07:38 pm (UTC)they'll be hunted, for sure. he doubts his handlers were going to just let him run away. they're behind a lot of bad things, and they'll do whatever they want. it's risky and dangerous for the both of them. would dabi want to deal with such trouble? keigo feels like a runaway kitten, bird more accurately, running from their abuser.
dabi's eyes are on him for awhile, and eventually the hero can't help but settle his gaze to his own lap. momentarily, anyway. because then he hears dabi finally answer, and keigo looks back up, nodding again.
he...didn't really want to talk about it either. he was tired of talking at the moment. he was tired of feeling so many different emotions, honestly. but he's being honest finally. and, that should come with some merit of it's own.
dabi gets up suddenly and keigo finds himself tensing up just the briefest of seconds. he comes closer and takes the first aid supplies, before he feels the villain settle behind him. the hero tilts his head, eyes never leaving dabi.]
O-Okay.
[he whispers out, doesn't think he'll freak out. dabi is oddly soft with his wings. he just hopes they're not in any sort of bad shape. he really wants them to heal up. he misses them far more than he expects. really, he shouldn't be so careless with them, but last night did require him to use what he had in order to properly locate and save the villain.
besides, a little fire shouldn't have done much damage to them, right?]
no subject
Date: 2021-05-23 07:59 pm (UTC)now that keigo knows who he is, dabi wonders if he can figure the rest out on his own. it shouldn't be that much of a mystery what his goal is anymore, especially after the bits and pieces dabi has mentioned about his father.
he wonders what keigo will do when the time comes. dabi won't let him stand in the way.
dabi definitely feels like he needs some space, but this is more important. he had gone back to the MLA to get keigo some help, but they never got that far, and now he has to figure it out on his own. luckily, dabi is used to dealing with burns of every single kind, and he hopes he can tend to these burns just as easily.]
Can ya get your shirt off?
[he'll help, but he doesn't want to just start taking keigo's clothes off. he's not sure where they stand on any of that anymore- hard to believe, when dabi had initially gone over to make something more of this. to open himself up. it hurts, but dabi won't let himself get worked up. he can't afford to right now, and he's too exhausted to anyway.]
no subject
Date: 2021-05-23 11:37 pm (UTC)right then, his mind is still running at high speed, still processing everything that's happened. he worries that someone will hunt them down immediately, or that dabi will order him to run off. he's just so...unsure. so lost. tired, too.
they both probably need some space. however, they really can't be provided the luxury of it. not right now. if dabi wasn't taking care of his back, keigo would curl up and just sleep.
his head tilts up as the villain comes to request he remove his shirt. briefly, he wonders why dabi doesn't do it. he's done it before. but, he tells himself, maybe he doesn't want to aggravate keigo's injuries? that, or touching might just be too much.
keigo swallows and puts his thoughts to rest, taking the bottom of his shirt and slowly pulling it up. he does struggle, breathing out before resuming, slower this time. more and more, his back is exposed, showing the complete burn marks that go from his mid-back to his neck. his hair is fried at the bottom, leaving him with the undercut. the burns even circle around his neck, no doubt to leave a nasty scar. but, his back...
it's dark colored. the flesh isn't anywhere near like dabi's, but the skin is bright from the burns, the base of his wings fried. yet, they're still in tact, the soft dewy feathers black and shaking. keigo can't pull them, far too sensitive to do so. it wasn't like they would hold or do much either. they're incredibly soft, but also burnt. the air bothers them, and keigo has to resist moving away or covering them back up.
he finally comes to tug his shirt off and holds it firmly to his chest, body leaning over from pain. the hero tries hard to steady himself though. he didn't consider them to hurt just for being exposed. it hurts far more than his neck or throat.
but, then again, his wings was just as much of a weakness as they were his strength.]
no subject
Date: 2021-05-23 11:47 pm (UTC)he doesn't want to make it worse though, so he lets go, his gaze settling on the other man's burnt up back. he hopes the burn cream is already helping keigo's neck, and now he just has to carefully put it on his back. he suddenly doesn't even know where to start, though, especially after seeing the state of his wings.
he can tell keigo is in a lot of pain, and he shouldn't feel bad... but he does. he really fucking does, especially when he realizes that it's his fires that did this. hawks lied to him, he got angry, and he wanted to burn the whole world down.
he didn't ask the stupid bird to run into the fire, though.
he lets out a frustrated sound that sounds more distressed than anything, and he realizes his hands are shaking. they're shaking so hard he has to clench his hands into fists and put them in his lap for a moment, watching as keigo curls into himself in pain. ]
I've got painkillers. Take some.
[he says eventually, when he can trust his voice again, and he digs into his little pack, pulling out a bottle and holds it out next to keigo's arm. he wonders if keigo is feeling the kind of pain he feels from his burns and scars every day. he really hopes not, but it looks bad.]
Take three. It might knock ya out, but ya need it. This is gonna... it's gonna hurt real bad until the ointment kicks in.
no subject
Date: 2021-05-24 12:07 am (UTC)he knows it's bad. he's just not sure how bad. he doesn't think it can be as bad as dabi's scars, or anywhere near them. he had been able to ignore them up to this point, even if adrenaline and his throat probably kept him from realizing it.
but now it's all he can focus on.
he can't say he regrets it though. he had to save dabi. at the time, he had assumed the villain to be fighting with a hero. he had wanted to protect dabi. he knows, in an instance, he would do it again. again and again. he would do anything for this villain.
no part of him blames dabi at all either. he's an adult. he made his own choice. he ran into the fire himself, knowing the consequences.
the noise that comes from his villain does worry keigo and he tenses up. he looks at nothing in particular in front of him, eyes wide in concern. he's so nervous over what dabi could be seeing or reacting to. no. it can't be that bad...
it just couldn't.
but, then dabi speaks and keigo sees the bottle next to his arm. swallowing, he nods his head, slowly taking the offered bottle and opens it carefully. three pills. he isn't worried about being knocked out. he trusted dabi. the villain wouldn't hand over his unconscious form to his handlers.
three pills are pulled to his mouth and he swallows them with spit alone. he twists the cap back on and sets the bottle beside him before returning his hand to his shirt, digging his fingernails into the material.]
Do what...you need to.
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Date: 2021-05-24 12:33 am (UTC)he knows deep down that if he were really angry, if keigo had betrayed him completely, those wings would be the first thing he'd take.
it makes him feel sick as he looks at keigo's back, waiting for him to take the pills. he knows they won't take too long to hit, but he stalls a bit to wait, pulling the rest of the first aid kit over to himself to see what's inside. he needs a little time as well, to get his hands to stop shaking. he can do this. he's done it to himself a thousand times before. ]
Good thing I'm an expert at burns, huh.
[he's not really joking, but maybe some sort of normal conversation would help. they've been so angry with each other, fighting so hard. everything has been painful... but he's still here. they're still here with each other.
he shifts how he's sitting, sliding a little closer and moving his legs around keigo.]
Squeeze my leg if ya need me to pause. I don't want ya passin' out on me.
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Date: 2021-05-24 12:57 am (UTC)for keigo, it takes a lot to allow dabi to touch them as he pleases. the hero trusts dabi with them.
if he were to ever lose them...he may never forgive the person responsible. even if that person is himself.
but the little nubs, he can still feel them. they hurt so much though. he hopes they can pull on through. he's strong. his wings are strong. and, he has an expert who knows how to handle burns. he should be fine.
dabi even says as such, and it earns a small smile from the hero. he takes it as a joke, more so to keep himself calm. the little nubs of his wings are still trembling, and keigo is sure it's more than just the pain. there's a fear of heat, one that always sticks with him. he's able to always ignore it and push on through. he's a hero, he has to manage to do that much. heroes don't stall. he's not even scared of dabi either. no. he completely trusts the villain.
his fear comes from heat alone.
so, he tries to ignore his fear like always, tries to focus more on the villain that scoots on closer to him. it does help to have dabi so comfortably close. nodding for an answer, keigo tells himself to not scratch dabi up too badly if he does need to let the villain know to pause.
maybe he just needs a distraction in the meantime.]
Can you...talk..and..keep me from thinking and feeling it?
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